to reject Pink Barbie bike for DDs birthday

[LazyMornings]

I'm opposed to the whole pink/princess/barbie thing. My brother knows this and still, he just picked up a fecking Barbie bike to give to her on my daughter's birthday.

I don't want my daughter to even see it. She's also still very happy with her old bike. I am hurt that knowing how I feel about it, my brother chose that bike. I know he will be very offended if we don't accept it. Thoughts?

lljkk - you're right - it's more to do with the fact that the OP's brother is putting the OP in her place by saying "you will accept this pink and girlish bike for your DD, we can't risk her being as independently-minded as you!"

(please note I've deliberately skipped over your sarcasm - you're doing it for them, so their work is almost done.)

Mattell do want money. If they can turn little girls into mindless consumers of pink plastic crap they can make money and prop up the patriarchy.

"Why shouldn't your dd have a pink barbie bike?"

Because she's already got a bike? Perhaps she doesn't actually care if her bike is Barbified, and so would prefer a different toy to a second sodding bike. Or is Barbiefied a must have?

I think that you are being VU. And I say that as someone who loathes pink and avoids it as much as possible.

However, I've ended up with both a dd and a ds who really like pink.

It's interesting that you don't want your daughter to even see the bike, as that implies that in spite of all your efforts she does actually like barbie/pink and would want the bike. The only thing I agree with you on is that it is a waste to buy another bike the same size as she already has, but if your brother is willing to get the next size up why not accept it with good grace? At this age you're lucky to get a couple of years out of a bike, they grow so much, so it's not like you're actually going to have to put up with it forever.

Oh, and my dd was given a free, hand-me-down barbie bike, all pink and glittery, and I just grimaced but was grateful. It's too big for her at the moment, so it's currently ds's, and dd is riding the size below which was his but he's grown out of. And ds loves it, so what do you make of that?

Oh dear OP you would hate me, I tell my DD that she's mummy's little princess everyday so I therefore must be subliminally corrupting her 3 month old brain! I put that application for Hitler Youth somewhere, must get round to filling it for her, in using a pink sparkly pen

Why can't a little girl be allowed to like "girly" things?

The issue of him buying something you have specifically asked him not to, ok yes, YANBU. However to not even want her to see it? Or refuse to allow her to have it? Surely you know YABU? She's a little girl! Let her be one! Or would you rather you hadn't had a little girl and a boy instead?

My son is a mindless consumer of multicoloured plastic crap. Why is being a mindless consumer of pink plastic crap any worse?

Anonymumous - depends: is his crap aggressively marketed over-macho war/transformer/alien/monster/predator stuff? For if so, then quite possibly it is just as bad, for that is stereotyping too.

And it's a marketeers wet dream - divide the sexes, double the sales. And the cynicism with which the consumer is exploited is amazing on this one.

YANBU OP. I would be unhappy if someone bought my child something they knew I was against regardless of what it was.

I'm no supporter of pink/Barbie/princess consumerism, and I do think it is something to be aware of and concerned about and generally to oppose. But in this case I would accept the bike with a smile and gratitude. It was a gift, your brother (presumably) wanted to do something nice for his niece. Why not accept the gift in this spirit? One pink Barbie bike will not undo the messages you are trying to communicate to your child.

Some of the comparisons and analogies on this thread are quite amusing, I must say.

It's Lego mostly! He is obsessed with Star Wars at the moment - he played Lego Star Wars on the XBox at his Grandpa's house a few months ago and got bitten by a very boring bug. The thing is, he could equally have been bitten by a Harry Potter bug (which is unisex really) but he didn't - it was Star Wars that grabbed his imagination and that was that. When he was three and at nursery, it was a pink princess costume that grabbed his imagination. But presumably that's a good thing in this case because he's a boy?!

I don't really understand how dividing the sexes doubles the sales. I wouldn't buy two paddling pools in blue and pink just because I have sons and a daughter. They'd have one pool and share it. And if a girl wants to play with "boys' toys", what's stopping her? Are you suggesting that you want manufacturers to produce pink trains and guns so that these toys appeal more to girls? In which case, wouldn't you be guilty of 'pinkification' yourself?

Can I say a few things?

First, I am really enjoying reading all your comments. Well, most of. Even those that think IABU.

Second, I still think Barbie, Mattel, Bratz and the pink army are hideous and the people beyond them morally corrup absolutely fucked up psychos trying to brainwash our kids to sell their crap. And possibly, like MrsTerrysChocolateOrange, for all those other reasons too.

I think stuntgirl puts it very well. It's about others respecting your points of view and the ways you chose to bring up your children.

Lastly, can I bring your attention to this? I think it's brilliant. Action against gender stereotyped toys. www.sparksummit.com/2012/02/02/toy-aisle-action-project-lets-make-shoppers-think/

And it's a marketeers wet dream - divide the sexes, double the sales. And the cynicism with which the consumer is exploited is amazing on this one. I agree wholeheartedly. One of the reasons they do it is so people who have a boy and a girl can't reuse stuff.

Why can't a little girl be allowed to like "girly" things? It is the assumption that they are girly that is offensive to me. Why is a unicorn 'girly' and a triceratops not? If I said something was carroty you would assume it was orange and pointy. The vast majority of carrots are pointy and orange and have been for ever. But the vast majority of girls, through the ages and across the world don't love pink and Barbie.

It's the same crap I get with people who say boys will be boys or he's a typical boy. My DD is an Energizer bunny active and busy. Does that make her a boy or a boyish girl? Of course not. Weirdly, even when she is acting like that I notice people, particularly the fathers of boys, reacting to it. For example, we were at a place with a bouncy castle the other day. She was, as usual, manically bouncing and screaming. All the other kids possibly scared of her were reticent and hanging back and one bigger boy was visibly frightened of the noise. Comment, "that little girl is doing it" emphasis on the 'little girl'. All the boys were being pushed towards it, none of the little girls were.

Do you boycott McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Proctor & Gamble, Wallmart-ASDA, Primark, Dow Chemicals, Monsanto & Nestle too? What about Israeli-made products? Abercrombie & Fitch, Domino's Pizza, Salvation Army, Roman Polanski movies? What about other Mattel products, can't purchase them without propping up the anti-woman Hegemony, right?

Umm, what a list, so in order...

Not a boycott, I don't consider McDs food
Don't drink it
I use Tide and Pampers (both P and G)
Yes
Yes
No
Yes
Yes except for San Pellegrino which I am trying to cut out
Yes (I assume you're including Caterpillar and brands like that which collude)
Yes
Yes
I work in housing so I have to liaise with the Sally Anne but don't like to
Never watched a Roman Polanski film since I knew about his rape, won't ever

I just Googled Mattel products and found this Interesting how many of their 'boys' and 'girls' toys are so gender specific.

Do I get some points? At least a few for being so fucking smug?

Mothercare have bikes. One is pink with pom pom things and has a dolly carrier. One is blue with fire stuff on it and a water boittle carrier. So one kid is encouraged to go out biking while taking care of dolly and another kid goes biking and takes care of his needs, it,s pernicious and starts early.

My son asked for a basket on his bike today, so he could ride around with his toy dinosaur. Didn't it occur to you that maybe the 'fireman' themed bike has a water bottle carrier so that the rider has something to put fires out with? Why are you all so convinced that there is some terrible conspiracy here?

Bought dd a red bike so it cd be passed down to younger brother. She won,t touch it. Her boy friends won,t play with toys that are girl colour. Some toy shops are entirely divided between girl toys and boy toys and they put lego etc in the boy area.. Sigh..

Anonimumous because there is. Just look at the evidence around you.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.ca/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=Fwbh0oq0-USEJM:&imgrefurl=www.fisher-price.com/en_US/brands/babygear/products/42984&imgurl=www.fisher-price.com/img/product_shots/M6221_d_2.jpg&w=500&h=500&ei=qnZGUPONGeOsigLImIEw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=187&vpy=150&dur=147&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=133&ty=110&sig=101652942560651010940&page=1&tbnh=166&tbnw=159&start=0&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:73" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">For the boys. <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.ca/imgres?num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=u28IoyPRhTEULM:&imgrefurl=www.dooyoo.co.uk/baby-toy/fisher-price-laugh-learn-my-pretty-learning-purse/&imgurl=img.dooyoo.co.uk/GB_EN/orig/0/6/7/8/1/678147.jpg&w=346&h=336&ei=03ZGUK6ENKayigL9voDACA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=184&vpy=148&dur=427&hovh=221&hovw=228&tx=130&ty=138&sig=101652942560651010940&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=159&tbnw=155&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:70" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">For the girls

Tools for the boys, jewelry and a mirror for the girls.

OP is not BU. I think the pinkification is crap. I have two DSs and a toddler DD. She has plenty of pink clothes (because it's a colour, not a flag) but I can't stand the pinky cutesy toys. She has been given a few bits of pink crap from other people, and I guess it'll build up more and more due to birthday parties. When I was looking for presents for some of my sons' friends birthdays, I was frustrated that there didn't seem to be much that was gender neutral, and I ended up getting Lego friends, which I regret a bit. I shall take a vow of gender neutrality when it comes to kids birthday presents now.

Regarding the doll carriers on bikes. We had to get a Baby Born doll carrier (hooks on the handlebar bit) from eBay so that DS could carry his teddy bear on his first bike. The bike, incidentally, was Action Man.

I think that this has more to do with parental prejudices than children's. It is (IMHO) our job to protect our children from all prejudices.

Our own included.

By all means, give them your views, but allow others who love them to do the same and let them decide. That's what really empowers them.

I used to feel just like this about Action Man - Everything I hated about the thugification of small boys rolled into one poisonous-plastic-panted-package. They both loved the sodding things, too ... For about six months and then they were as dust and ashes and collected cobwebs in the loft until the Carboot Sale Of Doom beckoned.

Give her the bike, make vaguely disparaging remarks about it's tweeness and she'll have grown out of it in a few months and never look back!

I like pink. And Disney princesses. What's the deal? I also work hard for a living, don't expect a man to look after me or come sweeping my off my alley slippered feet. A colour is a colour. A character is just that... What are you teaching her by banning Disney, Barbie and pink? (apart from that your mean) what should she watch/wear/play with?!