to reject Pink Barbie bike for DDs birthday

[LazyMornings]

I'm opposed to the whole pink/princess/barbie thing. My brother knows this and still, he just picked up a fecking Barbie bike to give to her on my daughter's birthday.

I don't want my daughter to even see it. She's also still very happy with her old bike. I am hurt that knowing how I feel about it, my brother chose that bike. I know he will be very offended if we don't accept it. Thoughts?

It seems odd that he would buy such an extravagant gift as a bike when she doesn't actually need one. It's the type of thing that should be done with the child to check height/style etc.its not a 'one size fits all'. I don't think you need to mention the colour or fact it's a Barbie bike op, maybe suggests something your dd actually needs or ask if db could take her to the shop to check the fit, and have adjustments if necessary.

Conversation with my DD and DS2:

Me=Do you think it's silly for girls to like pink?
DD=No, I love pink
DS2=That's because it's her opinion. Not all people like pink. They are entitled to their opinion.
Me=Is it ok for girls to play with cars
DD=It's ok. Whatever you like to play with is fine.
DS2=They can make their own choice, we are all entitled to our opinion.
Me=What is favourite toy?
DD=Barbie and my horse
Me=Why
DD=Just because. I like horses and dolls.

No subliminal messages here. Just a small girl, who likes dolls and horses. Simple really.

Having thought about this a LOT and attempting to see it from the other side, I can't change my opinion. Girls play with dolls. Plastic ones from china, fancy handmade ones from harrods - lentilly weavery ones with hemp dresses. Makes no difference.

We all need to give ourselves more credit for raising our kids. It's possible to live in the modern world without falling foul of multinational companies and their advertising campaigns without blanket exclusions and comparisons to Hitler.

yanbu esp as she already has a bike and out of interest i googled barbie bikes a 16inch barbie bike which may actually be too small for the dd as she is 6yrs old is £140 ish you can get a much better quality dawes bike for less than that. i am always amazed by the amount of parents that buy charchter bikes when they are generall always shite quality, crappy brakes and heavy etc, esp when you can get a much better quality bike for the same price or less in a good pice shop.

for me it wouldnt be about the barbie tho i dont like barbie and saw some interesting facts about how if they made barbie life size just how impossible her shape is to aspire to (as opposed to ken who is a fairly standard size/shape build for a man) i will try and find the link actually it was very interesting.

but whne buying a bike for my children quality and function is important so we take ours to a proper bike shop and have a look at what fits, hwat is in budget and then they get a choice from ones that are good quality and the right fit etc.

it is a very generous gift but not so nice if he is doing it deliberately to wind the op up and also as the dd doesnt actually NEED a bike!

even in toys r us a 12inch barbie bike is £80-£100 again you can get a good quality bike of the same size for the same or less!

am guessing the ops dd will need a 16 or 20inch bike depending on how tall she is but she really should be there when buying one to check out size etc, that she can sit comfortably, reach the brakes etc. a decent sized child bike will have brakes scaled to fit and be within easy reach unlike a cheap toys r us bike they will also be v brakes not the crappy calliper brakes that most cheap bikes have.

What are you worred op that she will turn into a big Barbie in 10 years time

Could have been worse, could have been a Bratz bike....

My dd loves things pink, sparkly and fluffy and has loads of barbies from family members and friends that she got as gifts, I have never bought her one as she has never shown an interest im barbie or asked for a barbie, if she had I would have bought them, the ones she got as gifts were taken out the box and never played with, her having barbies in the house has not turned her into a human barbie doll!

You know what... think I'll take the bike with a grin like some of you said. DD will see how uncomfortable it is compared to her old bike and when she really needs one, I'll get her a good one. What a waste of money for my brother... and I'll have to keep an extra bike in the house :/

I am one of these bad mums that allowed her daughter to play with barbie and bratz dolls.
I also dressed her in pink as much as possible beacause she was bald until she was 5 and if she wasnt in pink everyone assumed she was a boy. However now as an almost 13yr old she is more goth style hates pink sparkly loves clothes with skulls ect.
My now 14yr old son loved pink and barbie and dolls prams and is now into football and what would typically be boys things , so you can ban barbie and pink if you want but she may rebel and decide that ,that is how she is going to dress when older and you won't be able to do a thing about it.

I feel your pain on the space issue LM. That is a legitimate cause for concern.

DH insists we keep all the old scooters & bikes - for when the kids have friends over to play. It does get very tiresome tripping over them all the time...

I believe growing up in the kind of house where Barbie was banned affected me.

So, for example:

I don't wear make up (except perhaps once every few years, on special occasions, and then it's fun).

I don't worry one jot about whether my fanjo is shaved when thinking about childbirth (I worry about whether the painkillers are going to work! They didn't last time!) It makes me to hear that people do.

I have never dieted, not once in my life. (I have however gone through periods where I have made a conscious effort to eat healthily). And didn't get an eating disorder as a teen.

I rarely wear heels (although I enjoy it when I do).

I don't have an unhealthy obsession with my looks.

Are these things due to my mum not allowing me to have a Barbie? Well, of course not! That would be ridiculous. No single toy has the power to shape a person's thinking!

But did my parents' influence - including making me aware of their values and ways of living, of which a ban on Barbie was a part - affect me? I would say it did! Especially my mum's feminism, and I'm very grateful for that.

Our DCs are subject to powerful influences, they are bombarded with consumer messages, and I fundamentally disagree with the underlying messages. It's important to me that I at least try to share my values with my DCs. It worked for my parents! We are very different in many ways, but I absolutely agree with their world view, morals and politics.

You may have different values, or different ways of trying to instil your values in your children but please try to be a bit more understanding that people like me are attempting to make a stand on things which mean something to us.

How ungrateful, you shouldnt let your hate of all things pink affect your dd.
My dp does this we was in Smyths toy shop the other day as he was going to buy her a new toy. We was wandering round all the dolls and PINK things and my dd kept picking things up and my dp would say "im not buying you that its crap" and i picked up a Vtech disney princess toy phone which i know she'd love. She took it off me and proceeded to take it to her dad, he then said " im not buying you that its crap" he took it off her and put it back on the shelf, my dd was devastated (only for about 2 mins until she saw something else) in the end she ended up with a bedtime upsy daisy. But the point being if she likes it, she likes it you cant force your opinions of what she should like and what she should ( not until shes older, but i think thats called brainwashing) I told dp that I WILL be buying dd that phone for xmas btw lol

YANBU to be opposed to Barbie and related paraphernalia on principal, but I think it would be more than a little U to reject a present bought for your daughter's birthday. I can't think of a way you could turn a gift away without seeming very rude indeed. So I guess it all depends on whether you feel that the strength of your convictions is worth appearing rude to family members. If it is, go ahead and tell your brother you don't want him to give the bike to your dd.

My MIL bought DS1 a Power Rangers oufit, knowing that I really dislike him watching Power Rangers. I wasn't particularly thrilled about it, but I let him wear it. Later he wanted a Ben10 bike. I wasn't too keen on that either, but we used it as a bribe to get him to learn to ride his old bike first. Now I have a DD and I have already tried to let people know gently that I don't like the Disney Princess stuff. This has nothing to do with not liking Disney (I absolutely ADORE DisneyWorld!) but because the merchandise is cheap and crap and the dressing up clothes are nylony and horrible. If my daughter wants to dress up as a princess, I would rather that she had a proper beautiful dress for it! I don't have a problem with pink or Barbie dolls, but I think the Bratz dolls are absolutely hideous and I would be aghast if someone bought my daughter one of those. I think it would be subtly hidden at the bottom of a drawer somewhere and then turfed out to a charity shop once DD appeared to have forgotten about it!

So I do get the point that there are certain toys that are just beyond the pale as far as the parents are concerned. But on the other hand, my brother has never even sent my children a birthday card (or even a congratulations card when they were born). He pretended he had to work on the day of DS1's Christening. He is not remotely interested in any of them - he's never met DD and he's only seen DS2 once. Personally I think you should count your blessings that your brother takes an interest in your children, accept the gift gracefully and let your daughter decide whether she wants to play with the bike or not. If it turns out that she prefers her old bike, then you're just worrying about nothing anyway. You could give her the opportunity to sell it on Ebay and she could have the money instead.

Well just tell him not to waste his money on a bikeas she already has ne she likes but to get her another toy, that he feels your dd will like

"Me=What is favourite toy?
DD=Barbie and my horse
Me=Why
DD=Just because. I like horses and dolls.

No subliminal messages here. Just a small girl, who likes dolls and horses. Simple really."

I'm curious. If your DD had been affected by "subliminal messages" what do you think would have been different about that conversation?

We're rarely aware that we buy stuff because of advertising, but we do it all the time (that's why they spend so much money on it, it works!). If you think advertising doesn't affect you (or your DCs) you're almost certainly wrong! It's just that you don't notice it happening.

Good stuff OP. Honestly, let her have it. He's bought it and soon she will be tossing it into the shed in favour of her real bike. Just as my DS Played with that bloody Nerf gun and now none of us know where it is. Don't fetishise by banning.

Thanks! :)

She doesn't buy anything. She is 5!!

My point was that we survive despite the advertising...

My DD is 9. Loved Barbie and all things pink when she was 6. Not the case now.

iMoniker, kids don't have money but they have the power to influence their parents. And be very, very persuasive. That's why there's a whole Marketing aimed to kids. Childens Marketing. They're the easiest target, as they don't yet have developed their thoughts.

Again, here's the link to the documentary... please if you only do one thing today, watch it, even if it's just to come back here to say you didn't like it. Do it. You might find it surprising.

www.filmsforaction.org/Watch/Consuming_Kids_The_Commercialization_of_Childhood_2008/

It is your dd birthday-not yours! Advertising, no advertising, what you like, what you don't like. She is a little girl who will be excited and love all the presents she gets.
Soon, before you know it, she will be all grown up, leaving home, & you'll have a lot more to worry about than a Barbie Bike.

Life's too short. Let her have it. If she likes it, fine. If she doesn't let her sell it and buy something else. Seriously, by the time she realises that Barbie has breast enlargements and is too skinny, she'll be well beyond playing with them.

I agree with Twooter, life is too short. I can see why you're annoyed and Barbie does my pan in. I would never buy Barbie for DD but for her last birthday she got six of the monsters. I would grin and bear it and am sure that you're giving your DD the right messages in other ways.

I hated the colour pink when I was little, and wouldn't have any toys/clothes that were pink. I also didn't play with dolls, I much preferred to climb trees, play with Lego and toy cars.
I would not have been happy if my mum had loved pink, and tried to foist it on me.
Which is exactly what the OP and agreers are doing, albeit in reverse.
Does your DD LIKE pink or Barbie? I would have thought Barbie stupid and the pink would have made me run away screaming if I got one at that age but if I was a girl that did like Barbie, why should my mum foist her tastes onto me?
Colour should never be made an issue, that's ridiculous.
I now, as a grown up, like the colour pink and am currently sat here wearing a pink stripy top.
It's not naive to think that a child should be able to choose what colours they like, as someone suggested.
It's sensible. If my two boys wanted blue toys, why would it be acceptable to say no, that's stereotypical, you must play with pink toys instead?!
I wouldn't care WHAT colour they chose. The important thing being that they choose what colour.
As for the sexualisation or whatever of Barbie, yes she is a big boobed, leggy bimbo - but it's only a doll. People aren't going to automatically grow up wanting to look like her just because they have one. If they do, well they were that way inclined to think like that anyway, it's not Barbie's fault!