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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to reject Pink Barbie bike for DDs birthday

249 replies

LazyMornings · 04/09/2012 00:12

I'm opposed to the whole pink/princess/barbie thing. My brother knows this and still, he just picked up a fecking Barbie bike to give to her on my daughter's birthday.

I don't want my daughter to even see it. She's also still very happy with her old bike. I am hurt that knowing how I feel about it, my brother chose that bike. I know he will be very offended if we don't accept it. Thoughts?

OP posts:
catwoo · 04/09/2012 13:54

My teenaged DD has a heart shaped face. big blue eyes, long blond hair , tall and slim and ample boobs.She is clearly a bimbo and a bad role model for younger children.I never realised she was the devil incarnate!

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 14:13

Is she anatomically impossible catwoo? No? Then it's not the same.

DuelingFanjo · 04/09/2012 14:14

YANBU, I would take it back to the shop and exchange it. If he knew, and bought it anyway then what more can he expect.

with major purchases like that it's only polite to ask the parents what they would prefer IMO.

fatfeckingmavis · 04/09/2012 14:17

I had a pink barbie bike when I was little, loved it. Needless to say I dont have one now, nor do I look like malibu barbie (well maybe on a night out ;) ) seriously though dont pass your hang ups onto your kids, they just see a toy. And its an uncle/aunties right to buy inappropriate but great pressies :) x x

everlong · 04/09/2012 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeezyOrangePips · 04/09/2012 14:36

I don't get the adult obsession with dolls being anatomically 'possible'.

It's a toy.

Kids don't care. They want to play with it, act out scenes etc. they don't want to look at it and aspire to be it in real life.

FarloWearsAGoldRibbon · 04/09/2012 14:38

She may well not love it though, when I was a little girl I desperately wanted a Raleigh Lizard. Instead I got a hideous twee pastel one with a white basket on the front. I couldn't keep up with my friends on their mountain bikes on it. I was gutted and embarrassed to be seen on it and so barely used the thing. I'm not sure why everyone is assuming she will even like this just because it is pink and girly.

willowstar · 04/09/2012 14:40

I would feel the same way, the gender bias in toys drives me mad...as she already has a bike she is happy with can you ask to exchange for something g else that she needs?

civilfawlty · 04/09/2012 14:44

YANBU on both counts. It is shitty of yourbrother to undermine you and if YOU choose to raise your daughter without all the pink crap, it's your choice. Why is MN all about not judging when it's sausage rolls or whatever (which I don't care about either) but not when you are making these choices when raising your Dd. Annoying double standards IMO.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 14:50

I don't get the adult obsession with dolls being anatomically 'possible'.

Because <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.ca/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&biw=1366&bih=681&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=vQ_yDljJczll8M:&imgrefurl=www.tvrage.com/person/id-21795/gallery/%3Fview%3D90057&imgurl=images.tvrage.com/people_galleries/8/21795/90057.jpg&w=344&h=358&ei=KAVGUNOSNonMigLOlYGYAQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1034&vpy=174&dur=879&hovh=229&hovw=220&tx=127&ty=127&sig=115315949491539386692&page=1&tbnh=146&tbnw=132&start=0&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0,i:173" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is seen as normal and aspirational now.

JeezyOrangePips · 04/09/2012 14:54

By who?

Not me. Not my daughter. We both had barbies.

Are you aspiring to it?

catwoo · 04/09/2012 14:56

How is she anatomically impossible.I've heard people say this before, but there are plenty of slim girls with big boobs

nickelcognito · 04/09/2012 14:56

OP - i watched your video - i've nodded all the way through.

here's halford's website

there are blue bikes, red bikes, green bikes, all looking normal and suitable for boys or girls.
the pink bikes (for younger children) have fucking streamers coming out of the sodding handles.
Hmm

the pink bikes for older children look perfectly okay.

that's the point - those of you who can't see - it's not that it's pink, it's that it's specifically designed to force girls into a pigeonhole and stereotype.
not give them a choice, but to force them to conform.

It's replacing the Glass Ceiling, and you're all letting it.

Women! Know your place!

JeezyOrangePips · 04/09/2012 15:01

It's not the size if her boobs, it's the size of her waist that's the problem iirc.

IMO, pink is not the issue. Barbies are not the issue. Growing up with celebrity-obsessed mothers that are obsessed with make up and boob jobs and looking 'good' is the issue.

It's highly unlikely that one bike is going to make a difference...

furrygoldone · 04/09/2012 15:23

OP you are clearly slightly unhinged, Hitler and Barbie, setting fire to a harmless birthday present, what the fuck planet are you living on where you think that is appropriate. Your behaviour is going to have a much worse influence on your DD than a pink bike.

I don't really understand what you're worried about. I was Barbie obsessed as a child, every present I asked for was Barbie related, every penny I was given was spent on Barbie. As an adult I have never even had a spray tan let alone contemplated a boob job, I am educated to PhD level, out of all my female friends DH and I probably have the most even housework/ childcare split, I could go on.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 15:24

OK. This thread is difficult for me. It is hard to talk about what is wrong with pink and Barbie and glitter and all that without talking about wider issues that bore the crap out of people are complex and enormous. In order to understand why I don't want my DD surrounded by Pink Barbie/Disney shite, you have to accept that there is a patriarchal hegemony.

Rape, child marriage, women doing the majority of the work in the world and earning less, owning less. Women believing that it is right for them to do all the childcare, all the housework and frequently just as much if not more OOH work as well. Women in Saudi not being able to drive, women being stoned to death, women in the States fighting for their right to have contraception and abortion, women with less economic, social and political power than men. Women trapped in unhappy and violent marriages, women putting up with DV. Rape used as a weapon of war. On and on.

Somehow, this happens and it is allowed to. Now, imagine that you were part of the power structure, you have the power and influence, you own the means of production. How do you keep women putting up with this? How do you reinforce the status quo and keep women from asserting themselves and asking for the same rights and money as men? One of the ways amongst a million other ways you can do that is teaching male children about power and strength (superheros, dinosaurs, cars, tools, war games) and teach girls to know their place (Barbie, make-up, Bratz, dollies and pink bikes). Put girls in dresses and impractical shoes so they can't jump and run with boys and they learn they are weaker, less able. Put boys in martial arts and sports and girls in dance and drama.

Now, you might not believe there is a patriarchal hegemony but I do and therefore to me it is not "just a bike".

ValerieDavis · 04/09/2012 15:37

My DD is 7 and she actually has a pink barbie bike... along with toy cars, a den kit and all sorts of toys that you would usually associate with boys. I say relax, one bike isn't going to sway her opinions too much :-) She'll probably love it!

nickelcognito · 04/09/2012 15:39

exactly MrsT. exactly

let's make sure that only pink stuff is available to girls, and make it really obvious that it is for girls and not just pink clothes by adding girly frills too.

Women have gone too far! There are women expecting to have careers and expecting to have equal wages and equal rights, and it's just too much!
women keeping their own names on marriage, and women having their own property! and women giving their name to their children!
and women bank managers and women headteachers and women directors of companies

it's got to stop !!!
how dare these women rise up and try to count themselves just as good as men? how dare they try to make their own decisions!

It's not a 1st world company problem - it's easier in the 1st world - it's less likely that men can gt away with the violence and injustice that they can in developing countries, so they manifest it in more surreptitious ways.
forcing girls to accept that pink and girly and frilly as the only way is like putting women back in corsets. it's like taking away the vote. it's like taking away the Married Woman's Property act. it's like taking away a woman's right to inherit, it's like putting women's rights back a couple of centuries.

it's not funny and it's not harmless. It's a very clever and neat trick to persuade women that they should be conforming and being a good little woman for the Men.

furrygoldone · 04/09/2012 15:40

mrsterryschocolateorange I believe in a patriarchal hegemony, and regularly rage against misogymony in it's many forms, I just don't blame Barbie. She's a doll. Mine ran her own business, had a wonderful house that was very much hers not kens, and was very much her own woman. In my view you are focused on the wrong issue.

madwomanintheattic · 04/09/2012 15:47

Aufaniae, your post is hilarious. Po faced and equally as precious as the hard core pinkers.

I could have written your post word for word, and was brought up in a house where we had the biggest, pinkest, sparkliest bigger than me barbie/ sindy house and an array of said dolls to fill it.

I still don't shave my legs or trim my fanjo hair, or wear make up. And I largely wear clogs. I used to kill people for a living. (well, if you believe that's what the military does, anyway).

Barbie/ Sindy was supercool. She could death slide out of the third storey window to the base of the apple tree where we had rigged the escape route. Grin

Yes, commercialism ton and gendering of stuff exists to make money for manufacturers. I have read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, y'know.

I have two girls. We've never bought them pink blah, but plenty (like every other person on the planet, plenty) of people have. They have played with Barbie. There are even Bratz dolls, and probably worse, stuffed in cupboards.

They are 8 and 12 now. the only people who froth about pink stuff are the mothers of under 7s. By that point, the girls themselves are well past conforming to the toys r us stereotype. I haven't seen anything pink in two years now - they chose blue for their room last year, and although dd1 has discovered the joys of clothes shopping, it's more what colour hoodie to buy to go with the jeans.

Yes, it's a pita. Yes, it's everywhere. Yes, some people buy into it. But you don't have to waste your money on it, and as long as your children have a good variety of stuff, and you introduce the concept of free will and explain about makes choices in a vacuum, there is no need to be alarmed.

Yup, join the pink stinks campaign, yup, campaign against crap stereotyping on adverts, all that. But to dictate how other people waste their money? Not your job.

fartattack · 04/09/2012 15:52

Accept it and spray paint it her favourite colour wiping out the pink and barbie branding in one go!
YANBU

lljkk · 04/09/2012 15:56

I reckon OP's brother is having a right laugh knowing how annoyed OP is about this.

I just lurve the whole conspiracy to keep women down thing. Yup, Mattel doesn't care about the money, keeping the bitches in their place is their real plan, alright.

Is Mumsnet part of that conspiracy? Uptight navel-gazers that we are? Shakrabati says we are, after all.

How about Bob the Builder, only one of the regular machines is a girl, only one!! What a terrible example.

And that Peppa Pig, she's a bit entitled. As for Lola, what a spoilt prissy brat. She ought to be out shooting pigeons with an air rifle, cooking nettle soup & making her big brother stay home & do the laundry.

EnsignRo · 04/09/2012 15:57

You know what I think DD needs to grow into a confident, proud woman? Good role models in real life, a mother who respects herself and gets respect. A good education and parents who value that education. To be told every day that she is strong, smart, capable and can achieve whatever she wants with her life.

Do I believe all that will be undone by the colour of a bloody bike??

In short, YABU. There are much bigger things, better things, to be worrying about.

EnsignRo · 04/09/2012 15:59

Also loving your post, lljkk, that's an episode of Peppa even I would watch Smile

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