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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to reject Pink Barbie bike for DDs birthday

249 replies

LazyMornings · 04/09/2012 00:12

I'm opposed to the whole pink/princess/barbie thing. My brother knows this and still, he just picked up a fecking Barbie bike to give to her on my daughter's birthday.

I don't want my daughter to even see it. She's also still very happy with her old bike. I am hurt that knowing how I feel about it, my brother chose that bike. I know he will be very offended if we don't accept it. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 04/09/2012 00:41

Crikey. Its your dd's present. My dd would not be happy with that, and quite rightly so. She is nearly 5. I hate pink and barbie too, but eventually realised its not my choice. You sound very controlling.

DioneTheDiabolist · 04/09/2012 00:42

Not our choice MrsTerry, the OP's DD's choice.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 00:43

I would agree, however, people foisted pink shit on DD before she had a preference. Now she has preferences no one buys her the stuff she likes: cars and Elmo. Nope, we still get pink tat. Why? Because people look for a present, go down the girls' aisle and see acres of pink crap. By the time they are older, they have been bloody indoctrinated. My favourite one, tool-bag for boys, handbag for girls. Thanks, Fisher Price.

NellyJob · 04/09/2012 00:46

OK a barbie bike is a bit crap but so what?
it won't last long anyway.
I hate barbie too but had to accept the endless stream of them coming from certain relatives....
the last one got sellotaped naked to the front of my van on a trip to wales.

Original poster
LazyMornings · 04/09/2012 00:48

Watch this and then tell me it's OK to let kids decide.

www.filmsforaction.org/Watch/Consuming_Kids_The_Commercialization_of_Childhood_2008/

Good night I'm going to sleep

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 04/09/2012 00:48

We don't get that. We get a healthy mix of pink crap, train sets and cars.

NellyJob · 04/09/2012 00:48

I know what you mean though Mrsterrysetc, but we have to help our daughters undermine it and laugh at it a bit.

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 04/09/2012 00:50

that all DS has a dinosaur obsession, you can buy him any dinosaur you care to desire. even £1 shop ones. He doesn't play with any other thing.

but then pracitacally every says he has way too many dinosaurs ( 103 last count) and gets him something else he doesn't play with it. gives up and searches out dinosaurs with the ebay money from the sale of said stuff

McHappyPants2012 · 04/09/2012 00:52

it not all

Noqontrol · 04/09/2012 00:56

Wow lazy mornings, only watched a bit of that because its late, but its frightening. Will watch the rest in the morning.

aufaniae · 04/09/2012 00:58

YANBU.

Barbie is hideous. Tell him you can't accept it.

You have to refusing this gift if you want to draw a line in the sand. Letting her have it will open the floodgates for more Barbie / pink princess crap.

I wasn't allowed Barbie crap when I was little and I'm really grateful to my parents for that.

YABU to be very upset with your brother though, he probably just doesn't get it.
If I were you I'd be careful not to be arsey with him about it, just be firm about your stance, with kindness and good humour.

He was trying to buy your DD a present after all so his intentions were good! (Unless he's buying pink crap to annoy you, in which case don't rise to it!)

aufaniae · 04/09/2012 01:00

If you say "it's not my choice" then you're effectively saying you're happy for advertising companies to manipulate our DCs any way they want and you won't stand in their way.

CoolaSchmoola · 04/09/2012 01:03

That only applies if you let your DC's watch adverts.....

NellyJob · 04/09/2012 01:06

accept it and encourage her to rip off the sparkly tassle crap and spray it black

DioneTheDiabolist · 04/09/2012 01:07

Pink is a colour. I bought DS a pink glittery ball and people commented on how "enlightened" I was. I wasn't. He wanted it. If I buy the same ball for my D Neice am I promoting the patriarchy and undermining her? No I am not!

I am fed up with this notion that pink is wrong because it is associated with femininity. Femininity isn't wrong. Pink isn't wrong. No one would tell me that cars and trucks and blue shit is wrong. And I believe that we teach our children our values by living with values, not demonizing colours and toys.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 01:07

Watch adverts, or see anything on the internet, or look out of a bus, or at a bus, or any one of the thousands of places children see adverts.

McHappyPants2012 I forgot, Elmo, cars and dinosaurs. Grin

BenjiAndTheTigers · 04/09/2012 01:10

When did parents become the "Gift Police"?

I'm noticing it more and more.

When my nieces and nephews were growing up I took great pleasure in going shopping and looking for an appropriate gift for them. Then the excitement on their faces when they opened said gift.

Not any more. First you have to check with the parents then wait for them to decide if they "The parents" like the gift.

I have actually given up. It's become too hard.

I just buy a card and pop some cash in it now. Most times I never even ehar what was purchased with the cash.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 01:10

Pink isn't wrong just ugly being a woman or girl isn't wrong but being pigeonholed is. I reserve the right to object to that. There are so many people trying to make my DD into something weak and silly and I get told off for objecting to 'her choice'. It's not her choice. You can't tell me that every bloody girl in the country chose one colour without any influence. NO.

BandersnatchCummerbund · 04/09/2012 01:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 04/09/2012 01:13

Pink does not make a child weak or silly, just ad blue doesn't make them strong or smart. We parents do that.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 01:41

No, pink isn't weak or silly. It's just part of the 'pretty girl' crap. But Barbie is however much they try to pretend she is a scientist now.

FarloWearsAGoldRibbon · 04/09/2012 01:54

I loathe toys that try to tell my DD that how pretty she is is the most important thing about her and the fact that girls bikes tend to be oh so sparkly and pink yet lacking the spec of the 'equivalent' boys model as if girls are not expected to race down muddy paths like I did nutters. I don't know what you can do about the gift except buy her a pile of stickers and nudge her meaningfully towards the offending item, but I do empathise.

iMoniker · 04/09/2012 01:56

OMG get over yourself OP.

You are ungrateful and quite frankly a little bit strange. My DD has 19 barbie dolls, a barbie house, a barbie horse, barbie clothes, barbie furniture, she even has barbie knickers. She loves being a girly girl - having two older brothers I think it's quite balanced actually. She is not dimwitted - in the op tier in class, she is happy, healthy and has a very positive image of herself. I'd be very interested to hear, exactly what you think is going to be the disasterous ending for her.

BenjiAndTheTigers · 04/09/2012 02:04

So true Dione

I think it's quite sweet that DB even took the time to choose a gift.

I'll bet next year he won't eve bother.