AIBU for being upset that my DH used "our phrase" on Facebook?

[NCForNow]

It's a phrase that we used when we had our first DC. A made up one. It's not something that I have ever heard anyone else use and we always said it in relation to our first DD.

Now one of his mates has had a baby and he put our phrase on the friends comments box under the photo of their baby.

I asked him why he'd done this..and he went mad as if I had picked on him for nothing. He said he never knew I'd be upset though he knew it was a phrase which had personal meaning and emotional attachment for me and for him.

I can't understand why he'd say that on stupid FB!! He barely comments on things usually!

I love this thread. Thank you NC for sharing the linguistic infidelity that's occurred in your life. Fred's cat conception is making me cry with laughter.

Me and Dh have loads of phrases - the most common one being an exclaimation of surprise ..."fuck me - a bus" I cannot for the life of me remember where this came from but we have used it for the last 20 odd yrs and our mates have heard us say it but never ask why ...its just something we say.

I don't understand why you are so upset that your DP has shared this phrase

No I don't iknowwho...I've accepted that Iabu...whilst maintaining that many women have funny little quirks about prvate jokes...as others on here have admitted.

Ha. Eleanor.

My Dad always called my PFB DD 'button' and I was incensed when I heard him call my baby niece by MY daughter's name. How very DARE he?

Didn't even have hormones of any sort to blame it on.

Ok I think I've got ya now.

I suppose it may be similar to when your partner calls you a specific pet name, and doesn't use it for anyone else. And then you find out he has been calling another female friend this as well? Am I close?

Take a deep breath, and try not to think too much in to it op. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. Maybe he isnt as sentimental as you? Or was trying to be nice to his friend and didn't think it through properly...

Pat it is only because it was a phrase used for our PFB...not just a random in joke phrase about a bus or something.

We have other silly things we say...I would not care if he used those on FB

Yes SpaceHopper exactly! It felt like an infidelity. A minor one. And not physical. Or with a woman...but all the same!

What AThing said. He probably thought he was leaving a lovely message to his friend about the loveliness of a new DC based on his feelings about the words.

YABU. It sounds like he was trying to do a nice thing for someone he cares about. He probably thought that you might feel the same knowing how much the birth of your DC meant to you. As my DS was 25 yesterday all I can say is get a grip OP, you will have far more important challenges than this to deal with. Grow a thicker skin or the next 20 years are going to be utterly miserable for you.

Yes yes...thank you Busters. Although I can assure you that the next twenty years will not be "Utterly miserable"

Eleanor! You HAVE beaten me! You see I love our cat so much that I would be touched in your position!

Can I take this opportunity to point out you sound 'touched' anyway?

No, I thought not

I either need to drink more wine, or I have drunk too much as this thread is confusing the hell out of me.

I know I know. I am sightly touched. I don't deny it.

But I'm not COMPLETELY U! A few posters have understood me!

I once called my DH the name of our long dead dog.

He was not chuffed. Even when I told him that it was a compliment cause I loved the dog a LOT.

Yabu but not for being upset.

Yabu for all the generalisations, characterising 'men' as stupid or unfeeling and women as 'hormonal' and more sensitive to this kind of thing... It's just bollocks.

I never said men were stupid Felicity!

I never said all women were hormonal either, Just me. I thank you...now I am going to bed.

Goodnight all!

I get what you mean, but I still think YABabitU, but totally understand why!!

Dh calls me 'toots' - always has from we were dating - if I heard him call it to someone else I'd be a bit fucked off annoyed.

Does he understand why you're foaming at the mouth a bit upset?

Look Op, we don't know you from Adam, so why not just share this phrase?
I mean ,your DH has done so already, so it can't be THAT secret.

PatFenis
"Me and Dh have loads of phrases - the most common one being an exclaimation of surprise ..."fuck me - a bus" cannot for the life of me remember where this came from.

Roy Chubby Brown.

I'll always remember the last words that my father said to me...
"fuck me - a bus"

NCForNow
Glad that you have sorted it
but unless you have expressly told him that it stays between the two of you, how was he supposed to know?

I bet he doesn't have a clue just how special the word it to you! Men have a habit of that kinds stuff.

MEN!!!!

our PFB was christened "RatBag" because I swear she tried to kill us via the medium of sleep deprivation

since then, our dc are referred to as "RB1" and "RB2"

our neices and nephews all have their own "RB" moniker

all new additions are greeted with "ahh, how lovely, another RB to add to the family"

is this the kind of thing you meant ?

Hate to sat it OP but your DH is probably just as confused as we are.

I don't think you ABU just a little sensitive. But I DO get where you are coming from.

If I was feeling a little sensitive then I think I might have given DH a poke in the ribs and said "that phrase is reserved for our DD and no one else"

I hope not. If that is all you have to worry about you are pretty lucky! Let it go, in the scale of male transgressions we read about on here it is so far down the list. He tried to do a good thing based on how happy you are. You should be pleased about that. How would you feel if he'd posted about what a mistake it all was, night feeds, nappy changes, crying, screaming, sleepless nights, no sex, separate beds, breastfeeding etc etc?

But no, he posted happy, positive stuff. You only have to read a few threads on the Relationships topic to realise how lucky you are. But what you have shouldn't be lucky, it should be normal.

Kind of AF but it's more of a phrase that flatters the Mother..I should have said that before.