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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for being upset that my DH used "our phrase" on Facebook?

198 replies

NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:03

It's a phrase that we used when we had our first DC. A made up one. It's not something that I have ever heard anyone else use and we always said it in relation to our first DD.

Now one of his mates has had a baby and he put our phrase on the friends comments box under the photo of their baby.

I asked him why he'd done this..and he went mad as if I had picked on him for nothing. He said he never knew I'd be upset though he knew it was a phrase which had personal meaning and emotional attachment for me and for him.

I can't understand why he'd say that on stupid FB!! He barely comments on things usually!

OP posts:
MmeLindor · 27/08/2012 23:17

I do 'get' this.

We have a song that we used to sing to DD when she was little, and have continued to sing to both our DC. They ask for 'our song, the one you always sing to us'.

I'd be miffed if DH were to sing it to another child.

lovebunny · 27/08/2012 23:17

he's an insensitive oaf. does he earn good money? is he fit? is he good with the baby? if not, start re-thinking his tenancy.
ok, you might not want to leave him for this, but i understand that it feels like a betrayal, revealing something you thought of as intimate. it suggests he doesn't value your child more than the child of his friend. but to him, it's probably the first thing he thinks of when he thinks 'baby', so he wrote it down. insensitive but probably not deliberately uncaring.

wishiwassingle · 27/08/2012 23:18

Sorry OP but unless you tell us what this "oh so precious phrase " is, we can't really help.
And, as has been pointed out, if it's not patented then anyone can use it anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:18

Bis Well maybe. I don't mean physically gorgeous...just when they're being clever or funny you know.

OP posts:
MmeLindor · 27/08/2012 23:18

Bis
No, sorry. My 8yo DS is utterly gorgeous too. :)

D0G · 27/08/2012 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 27/08/2012 23:20

Oh piss off worra. No. It was nothing soppy

If I promise to say YANBU and you sound totally sane, your DH is a complete bastard burger...wrapped in a bastard bun with a side order of deep fried bastard on the side.

Will you promise not to swear at me again?

You see, I just don't think I can take that level of abuse from someone I don't know and never will Sad

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:20

Balls wishiwas you don't need to know. It's a loving phrase...a combination of words which conveys a good feeling about a new baby...but it's witty and slightly quirky....it's one he made up when DD came about....nobody would use it or make it up as it contains a colloquial phrase that is particular to his part of the world combined with one that's particular to MY part.

OP posts:
D0G · 27/08/2012 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeaWheesht · 27/08/2012 23:21

Bis - tbf I don't have an 8 year old but I do have an almost 6 year old boy and he is still especially gorgeous sometimes as in especially cute / amazes me with knowing / thinking / doing something.

milkysmum · 27/08/2012 23:21

You don't sound like a loon. It would be easier if we knew the phrase but i think I get what you mean.

AThingInYourLife · 27/08/2012 23:21

"it suggests he doesn't value your child more than the child of his friend."

What??!

Utterly fucking bananas.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:22

No Worra I can't promise that...if you push my buttons and feel the PMT rise, then I lose my verbal skills and swear. Sometimes at people online. It's only words though as so many here have said.

OP posts:
bisjolympics · 27/08/2012 23:23

Ds is currently going through a Kevin and Perry phase so the words 'especially gorgeous' couldn't be further from my mind where he is concerned Grin

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:23

Men should read this thread in order to learn something.

OP posts:
wishiwassingle · 27/08/2012 23:23

Look if you're going to come on her moaning about this that or the other, them at least have the decency to give the whole story.
YABU, the english language is meant to be shared.

crazybubbasmummy · 27/08/2012 23:24

You are not being unreasonable, that phase made you feel more special than anyone else and that your dd was more special than anyone else, and now he used it on someone else it doesn't mean what you though it does!! Obviously you and your dd are the most special things in his life, but he's a man and probably just came out, maybe the baby was so gorgeous it reminded him of his baby xx

SugarBatty · 27/08/2012 23:24

Its only words. Oh the irony!

CoolaSchmoola · 27/08/2012 23:24

"it's one he made up when DD came about"....

Not much exists in a vaccuum everything has it's roots somewhere, in something we've seen, read or heard.... how do you know for definite he made it up? He may have heard it somewhere and thought "ooh, that's a loving phrase which conveys a good feeling about a new baby, it's witty and slightly quirky!" and then when DD was born he remembered it?

He may have nicked it from someone else - who feels the same as you do now, somewhat misplaced as the person they heard it from nicked it too!

topknob · 27/08/2012 23:25

can't say what I really think Shock

WorraLiberty · 27/08/2012 23:26

Oh fuck that OP

If you want to throw a hissy fit at the replies you don't like then do it Grin

But don't blame PMT or anything else...

You clearly don't think YABU so fuck everyone who does Grin

EleanorHandbasket · 27/08/2012 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:26

Oh arses. I feel slightly twatty but also angry. He SHOULD have known it was special. He DID know.

OP posts:
BeaWheesht · 27/08/2012 23:27

Wtf would men learn?

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/08/2012 23:27

NCForNow
"Men should read this thread in order to learn something."

What exactly am I susposed to be learning?