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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for being upset that my DH used "our phrase" on Facebook?

198 replies

NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:03

It's a phrase that we used when we had our first DC. A made up one. It's not something that I have ever heard anyone else use and we always said it in relation to our first DD.

Now one of his mates has had a baby and he put our phrase on the friends comments box under the photo of their baby.

I asked him why he'd done this..and he went mad as if I had picked on him for nothing. He said he never knew I'd be upset though he knew it was a phrase which had personal meaning and emotional attachment for me and for him.

I can't understand why he'd say that on stupid FB!! He barely comments on things usually!

OP posts:
D0G · 27/08/2012 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:28

I don't know worra part of me knows it's twatty to be upset but the other, smaller and more "princessy" part of me is outraged. Grin

That part of me doesn't come out much but when it does it's all about ME ME ME! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:29

Boney. Pardon...I did not think an actual man would come along and ask that. So I can't provide the answer.

OP posts:
wishiwassingle · 27/08/2012 23:30

I'm with worra on this.
Unless your DH said he loves someone elses child more than yours then I really don't see what your problem is.
And, if you want people to agree with you do not post in AIBU, try netmums instead.

FredWorms · 27/08/2012 23:30

DP used to use a phrase for our cat years ago, a stupid nonsensical thing that him and his ex-girlfriend conceived (the phrase, not the cat).

Used to get right on my nerves but I soon got over it.

AThingInYourLife · 27/08/2012 23:30

Just because he knew it was special doesn't mean he understood that that meant he was banned from using it about any other baby.

Perhaps he assumed that the specialness of your child was not in any doubt and that borrowing your special phrase as a tribute to a friend's baby was not going to make you jealous.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:31

wishIwas catch up love.

OP posts:
SpaceHoppersAreFun · 27/08/2012 23:31

Without knowing the phrase, it's difficult to understand op, but if it is a close friend of his, could he have commented in a way that meant 'now this phrase is appropriate for you'...?
Rather than dissing the importance/private meaning of it to you?

Hmm I don't think I am making sense now either Confused

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:31

There...Fred is also language sensitive!

OP posts:
icecold · 27/08/2012 23:32

But I think you should explain to your DH why it has discombobulated you because I expect he doesn't see the problem.

thank you elenor i have learnt a new and brilliant word!

EleanorHandbasket · 27/08/2012 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:32

Not really SpaceHopper...it's more of a "Wow look at how cute and perfect this child is" kind of comment. Not one that you leave behind as the baby ages.

OP posts:
wishiwassingle · 27/08/2012 23:33

WTF is THAT supposed to mean.

icecold · 27/08/2012 23:33

although...i think you have used it incorrectly Grin

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:33

Eleanor! You HAVE beaten me! You see I love our cat so much that I would be touched in your position!

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 27/08/2012 23:33

I think further explanation is likely to make him even more confused and quite cross.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:34

WishIWas if you can't work it out maybe you're the one who should be at NetHuns.

OP posts:
Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:35

Athing Yes. We've managed to move on whilst I typed it all out on here. He's been in to tell me some mundane thing...we've forgiven and if not forgotten, made peace.

OP posts:
AugustMoon · 27/08/2012 23:35

Maybe it's just not as special to him as it is to you hence why he didn't think it was a big deal. Not in a nasty way, just that blokes don't tend to be quite as sentimental as us birds, generally.
I understand you being upset though, not to say it's reasonable, doesn't have to be!

Agnesinroom25 · 27/08/2012 23:36

Actually I take my sarky comment back. DP calls me nutmeg and I felt rage boil up inside me when he called it our pfb. I do think it was hormones though as I do love my dd lots.

grips · 27/08/2012 23:36

men would learn that some women are mad

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:36

That's it August. I think men sometimes KNOW something's special but it doesn't have to be secret.

Or something.

OP posts:
iknowwho · 27/08/2012 23:37

I have thought this through and through but I can't just get why you are so upset.

I have thought about the 'in jokes' Dh and I have and how I would feel if he said them to someone else and I would find it amusing.
The more you post the more bonkers you sound.

Original poster
NCForNow · 27/08/2012 23:37

Agnes....we all sound a bit bonkers sometimes...it's some THING inside some women. To do with ownership or something. I reckon it's primeval.

OP posts:
Wowserz129 · 27/08/2012 23:38

I would have said to him that it was a private word/joke and would he mind keeping it private.

I certainly would start an argument or blow up about it. It's not a massive deal.

YABU