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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to stay with a man who hates fat women?

308 replies

grips · 25/08/2012 23:46

just that really. i have a partner and he is very vocal about his disgust for overweight people and women in particular. he says that hes sure they are nice people but he cant help but judge them for being overweight. i always pull him up on it but it really bothers me.

OP posts:
pictish · 26/08/2012 00:22

Who said you have to?

squoosh · 26/08/2012 00:23

Oh yeah it takes real balls to laugh at someone for having at weight problem Confused.

Give your hairy balls a good jiggle and tell yourself 'well done Barred'

WorraLiberty · 26/08/2012 00:23

James Corden is handsome, funny and seems like a lovely guy.

But I wouldn't be attracted to him if he were to stand there naked in front of me because I don't find fat bodies attractive.

However, if I loved the man (like I love my DH) then I would find him attractive because love is about so much more than just looks.

hatesponge · 26/08/2012 00:24

I wouldn't want to be with anyone so judgmental. I suspect that this may just be the tip of the iceberg - after a year he's still on his best behaviour, it's interesting he feels he can already vocalise this loathing to you.

I'd be running for the hills tbh.

squoosh · 26/08/2012 00:25

I am not attracted to overweight men. But I would never laugh at one.

Krumbum · 26/08/2012 00:25

Yes you should leave him. He's a misogynist. You can't build a life with him. Everyones body can change for a variety of reasons. You shouldn't be bullied for it. How can you find such an arsehole attractive?

Krumbum · 26/08/2012 00:26

Worra. I find mr corden very sexy. Although I've been told he's an arse irl.

ThymeLord · 26/08/2012 00:27

Leave the prick. If it isn't weight it will be hair colour, or hair length, or clothes, or friends, or family. Get out!

0lympia · 26/08/2012 00:27

Ryan Gosling was lovely to me too.

happybubblebrain · 26/08/2012 00:28

All those that aren't attracted to fat people, what are you going to do when your partners get old?

We all get fat, or very very wrinkly eventually.

BarredfromhavingStella · 26/08/2012 00:28

A weight problem-eat less & fucking excercise.

Worra yes I adore my DH & if he got fat that feeling wouldn't change but why is it wrong to be honest & say I really wouldn't want to fuck him????

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 26/08/2012 00:29

My daughters Dad is like that. He isn't vocal about it though. It's the only really derogatory comment i've ever heard him make. I was pregnant when he said it, I had a low cut top on, because for the first time in my life, i had amazing cleavage, and i was rather annoyed that he had not commented. So i asked if he liked the top. His response was;

'Not really, It reminds me of fat women'

'WTF?'

'I don't mean you're fat, but when i go to the pub, there are always middle aged women who think that having big boobs makes up for the fact that they're really over weight'

He also thinks the gym is answer to everything. a week, i shit you not, A WEEK, after having our daughter, i had the audacity to indulge in a little compliment fishing and moaned about my tummy.. his response 'Go to the gym if you're that bothered'. Fuck you.

The women at his work are dicks and i told him, to go to the deli at lunch and get some cream cakes to throw at their face every time one E-mails him (FROM 6 FEET AWAY). His response 'I think they have enough cream cakes'.

I could go on.

He's never said it about a man though. I really don't understand why he has issues with overweight women.

carernotasaint · 26/08/2012 00:30

I didnt judge you barred. i just asked if you did or didnt vocalise your preferences publicly or not. There is no need to be abusive.
Oh but it does happen
In the spring of 2006 i was walking home with bagloads of shopping (i was a size 12 then) and a mother driving a 4 by 4 with kids in the back yelled "get out of the way you fat cow" at a zebra crossing so it does happen
Methinks the "lady" doth protest too much!

grips · 26/08/2012 00:30

i will definately think more about this as its seriously pissing me off now

OP posts:
BarredfromhavingStella · 26/08/2012 00:31

Sorry but She quite clearly had issues then as a size 12 is far from fat-lets get real here.......

pictish · 26/08/2012 00:32

You're lovely Barred. Really pleasant and well mannered. Tell us more about what a considerate and polite person you are...please!

carernotasaint · 26/08/2012 00:32

I didnt call you a twat either Barred. You are reading things that arent there.

Krumbum · 26/08/2012 00:33

Its stupid to say you couldn't fancy any fat people.
You havnt met all fat people. People of a similar weight don't all look identical...

WorraLiberty · 26/08/2012 00:34

Worra yes I adore my DH & if he got fat that feeling wouldn't change but why is it wrong to be honest & say I really wouldn't want to fuck him????

I don't think it's 'wrong' if that's how you feel...I mean how can it be?

But personally, I would always want to have sex with the man I love...because I love him.

Having said that, if he just started randomly over eating and being greedy (with no underlying issues) I would be annoyed at him.

But I wouldn't stop loving him.

squoosh · 26/08/2012 00:34

Exactly that woman had issues and anyone who feels the need to comment on random overweight people on the street or in restaurants also has issues.

carernotasaint · 26/08/2012 00:34

Barred some people comfort eat because their partner doest want to fuck them. It can happen the other way round you know despite what appears in wimmins magazines.

lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2012 00:35

My DH isn't shallow ... but he can't abide fat people, whether male or femail, and finds me physically repulsive as I am 3 stone heavier than when we met... I'm a small size 14 Hmm.... Think it's more his issue than mine TBH

carernotasaint · 26/08/2012 00:35

size 14 is NOT fat FFS.

BarredfromhavingStella · 26/08/2012 00:37

Pictish why don't you tell me precisely what your issues with me are?- I don't do fat why is that not lovely & well mannered-I have already stated that I'm not the type to shout at people in the street I simply don't do fat-maybe you don't do blonde/auburn, gym bunny or rough & ready-I don't give a fuck just be honest-why do you have a problem with my shallowness??? I can admit to my failings-can you??

FWIW I also have this issue with cars...........It has to be pretty-see, SHALLOW

carernotasaint · 26/08/2012 00:37

I was 21 stone in 2002.
By mid 2003 id lost ten stone and gained a lover.
So i got mine.