to want another child although strictly speaking we can't afford it?

[melonandpapayaandmango]

If we had a fourth, no one would starve, no one would go barefoot and no one would be homeless.

DD is 5, DS1 is 3 and DS2 is only 3 months. I've always wanted a big family, DH was happy with 2 children but I persuaded him to have a 3rd - he agreed and now he has said he likes the idea of an even number.

at the moment my two older children share a room (DS2 is in with us) but we hope to move house in the next 2 years but it would probably be a 3 bedroom property meaning the two boys would still have to share - a third DS would go in with them, a daughter would share with DD.

it's mainly the living space - any thoughts?

You cant have the odd treat on that kind of money? even more

I find it depressing you find it depressing to be honest, Narked I can assure you they aren't going without, they have a mother and a father who adore them, a nicely kept, clean, warm and comfortable home and their every need met without leaving the country.

I do however agree that it will only cover the basics for four DCs which is why I want to give a fourth child serious thought - although as I said earlier in the thread:

• dh has far more earning potential
• I can go back to work after my youngest is at nursery (whether this is DC3 or DC4 remains up for debate) at least part time.
• we wouldn't be going abroad regardless of family size!

Meetup - it took me AGES to work out what you meant then I saw your second message!

No, you won't be paying for it - like I'd admit it on here even if we were on every benefit going (we're not, we're not ... just CB!)

We loved our summers in Spain and France and by even after our first summer we were great at conversation which is why by 12 we were pretty much fluent in 3 languages including english and able to get by with any Italians and Portuguese we met and therefore always enjoyed holidays as there were other girls to laugh with and new boys to meet and chat to all the time.

Sounds more like the other kids were jealous of you getting to experience. Sun cream was available back then you know. And motion sickness is not an inherited trait If you'd looked out the windows where you were going your symptoms would have reduced.

I think you've already decided and are looking for validation that having another is fine.

Why don't you ask your children what they think. I am third of six and genuinely thought from a young age that my parents went out of their depth financially and in terms of providing the care and inspiration that children need. It's not just about who shares with whom, or food bills, or shoes.

40k is hardly a lot of money, i earn just about that and my DH earns considerably more than that and we could NO way afford 3 let alone 4 kids!

I agree with you there everlong but some of the reasons why not seem very strange [to the likes of me] Mathis tutors, grammar school blazers and violin lessons?

I am not saying they are not important to thse who memtion them, they just wouldn't cross my mind.
And I don't consider myself feckless

I didn't say it did MrsDeVere.

I think it's depressing because there are so many types of holiday, and not enjoying the kind your parents chose as a child is understandable, but ruling out all holidays because of that is depriving yourself of loads of enjoyable experiences.

You can holiday in a tent in the UK or on a beach in Thailand, you can try pony riding or scuba diving, you can cycle around the Netherlands or go and see shows in Vegas. There are so many different types of holiday! No-one likes them all. There are also travel sickness tablets.

40k is a lot of money.
It is easily spent but that doesn't change the fact it is a lot of money.

I went abroad lots as a child but I lived in a much cheaper area of the country than I do now.I would trade it all for more siblings.It didnt help me learn a language and we went tunisia , all the canaries, malta, turkey, spain, america, cyprus, italy and portugal. Now I have kids I enjoy it more at butlins tbh!

Thanks everlong - believe me my mind isn't made up, I dither and chop and change - not sure really! Need to give it a lot of thought!

MrsDeVere - same!

Novack, to be honest I'm finding your posts really tiresome. My travel sickness goes if I look out of the window does it - well silly me, I've spent 34 years puking for no good reason then, if only I'd thought of that before Inherited or not, DD throws up in cars buses and planes (we flew to Scotland last summer, poor child.)

I personally think learning languages is something some have a shine to and others don't - DH barely left the UK but has an A in A level German, I spent all my childhood summers in France and was always terrible at French! Jealous or not, I certainly was set apart from the other children and I was unhappy - I don't know why you can't accept not everyone is the same as you,clearly going abroad is important to you, it is not to us!!

Well I misunderstood then. Your post read like you thought it was depressing that not everyone was interested in travelling.

Sorry

It's a good amount. Tax and then housing costs are the biggest factors. If you're in the South East it doesn't go as far. If you're privately renting it really doesn't go as far.

Novack. Could you please fill us in on the details of this professional help that is available for people to overcome the urge to have more children. Have you used it yourself?

Confusedd - I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

Bling - at last, someone being real and not pretending forty grand is a fortune

£40k is very respectable salary but imo it's not enough for a family of six to be comfortable

I do hate it when people try to cure me of my travel sickness!

I am 34 years old and have spent those 34 years throwing up whenever I'm a passenger in a car, a bus or a plane and it isn't pleasant! Do people really not think I've tried: tablets, hypnotherapy, looking out of the window, sucking a sweet, and so on?

The only thing that works is for me to be driving and even that isn't 100% foolproof on a windy road.

40k isn't a fortune, no - I didn't say it was!

I haven't made my mind up but when people say "well what about holidays" it's reasonable enough to say "well we don't go on holiday so that isn't an issue." surely?

I suppose it depends on your idea of what comfortable is then doesnt it.

I'd rather have a better quality of life with fewer children.

That's just me though.
Have to convince DH who wants to keep going til we have a boy

Errr nar

If you are feeling cramped already then I wouldn't.

Mind, even with a large 4 bedrm house, DH & the 4 kids just all cram into the nearest 3m square to me, so am not sure that house size matters. Feeling cramped is more to do with the amount of STUFF they generate. Which is frightful.

I have no idea why this thread focused on family holidays. We can easily afford but I have no patience/energy for them.

There are loads of families of 4,5 and 6 here and they are on less and do alright.If you live in London then its different.

I've always found that the right dose of tablets stops it. I get car sick if I try and read (no looking at track listings!) and/or don't have the window open. I can't read on trains either and have to be facing the direction of travel. I need tablets for boats and to be on deck. I'm fine flying with tablets.