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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by these parents at dd's school

298 replies

EnterWittyNicknameHere · 21/08/2012 08:29

Setting myself up for another school run here. DD started primary school five days ago, and since then i've witnessed the following:

One mum has been late every day with her primary one child. She gets into the yard just as the last child in the line is going through the door. Her excuse? She was busy doing her makeup and tan, but LO's been ready since 8.00am.

Another mum works at a shop literally a one minute walk from the school. Her child is also in dd's class. She gets to the yard at approx 8.50am, deposits her child there and leaves him standing there hysterical, calling over at him, "I'm sorry X, but mummy has to go to work!"
Twice, i've seen her approach random mums in the yard saying, "Excuse me. Do you mind watching him for a few minutes 'til the bell goes? I can't be late for work."
One of the mums recommended a breakfast club her own child used to attend, but the mum laughed and said she's not paying for 2 hours care when she only needs someone to mind him for a few minutes.

And finally, another mum told me she uses the breakfast club twice a week to give her a 'break.' She is a SAHM, has no other children, but early mornings don't agree with her apparantly. So she gets her husband to drop LO off at breakfast club (also a newstart primary one) on a Thursday and Friday at 7am so she can stay in bed. She's thinking of putting him in after school club too because she lives a twenty minute walk away and can't be arsed traipsing out in the rain to get him. so then her husband can just pick him up after work instead (her words).

I'm shocked! Really shocked. I'm new to the playground stuff, but is this normal?

I feel like the abnormal one by turning up with dd on time each morning.

OP posts:
LackingNameChangeInspiration · 21/08/2012 12:18

Tough, the OP says that the woman works at a shop
not that she runs/owns a shop

quietlysuggests · 21/08/2012 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 21/08/2012 12:19

If you mean the working mum in the OP, it was stated that she works in a shop.

LookBehindYou · 21/08/2012 12:21

Some people really over the top on this thread. It obviously pressed a lot of buttons. Not mine, because I'm perfect Grin

Original poster
EnterWittyNicknameHere · 21/08/2012 12:22

Nope, dd's SEN is totally irrelevant to my post. Even if she was an angel, i'd still be observing the goings on around me and disagreeing with them.

I have no qualms with people glamming up for the school run. My issue is with people vocalising that their child is late for the sole reason that the mum was doing her hair because she can't leave the house 'looking like a tramp.' In other conversations with said woman, she's informed us of her morning beauty regime which she takes about an hour even though her LO is always ready by 8am.

I don't have issues with childcare.

I DO have issues with people using it for the sole reason that they can't be arsed walking in rain or don't like getting up in the morning.

I also have issues with people NOT using it and leaving their 4yo child alone next to an open gate at a main road.

The reason this thread is going on and on and getting nowehere (as someone pointed out) is because people are reading my OP but obviously seeing completely different words from what i have actually written.

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 21/08/2012 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

featherbag · 21/08/2012 12:24

YABU. And judgy. And nosy. And a bit weird. And, frankly, a bit of a bitch. But I'm sure you'll grow out of it when your DD's been going for a while!

FutTheShuckUp · 21/08/2012 12:25

Flipping heck OP you sound like a right nosy old sticky beak

LookBehindYou · 21/08/2012 12:26

Whereas featherbag you sound like a delight. It's good you've been frank though.

roundtable · 21/08/2012 12:28

Ok op I missed the bit about the dad taking the child in, hence why I found it funny, apologies.

However if you really are concerned re the 4 year old, the gate and the main road, you may be better to inform the school and let them deal with the situation if they feel that's a safeguarding issue.

The rest, I'm still not too sure what the problem is, but each to their own.

FutTheShuckUp · 21/08/2012 12:28

I don't like getting up in the morning. I suffer from depression and struggle to sleep at night but by the time I do drop off I'm lucky if I've had two hours and it's time to get up.
Not that I'd tell judgemental old sticky beak school run 'mummies' this though so they probably judge. Not that I care

Theglassishalffull · 21/08/2012 12:29

OP I think you would have a slightly different view as you have additional problems to contend with and these parents in your view don't.

Anyway I can see you won't see the other side of the argument so I will leave it there.

Original poster
EnterWittyNicknameHere · 21/08/2012 12:29

Okay. Obviously there are a LOT of mums out there who think it's okay to put physical appearance's before education, leave a 4yo alone in an open yard next to a main road, and to want to sleep in rather than take their own child to school.

Glad i'm not one of them though.

And i don't believe for one second that i'm the only person who notices and judges other people's parenting.

OP posts:
TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 21/08/2012 12:29

Ok I'm going to be really honest with you OP

your op makes you sound bitchy and Judgy. It sounds as if you have made assumptions based on nothing but a couple of days observing for 5 minutes.

It makes you sound as if you have looked for things to complain about and exaggerated things to make it sound worse than it is.

And no one likes people like that.

There are parents like you at every school gate across the country who make it their mission to point out flaws in peoples parenting.

They normally do it to deflect attention from themselves, to comfort themselves with at least I'm not as bad as x

You will find like minded people at your school hate who will agree with you. But you aren't going to find many on this thread.

AlmostAHipster · 21/08/2012 12:31

Live and let live, OP. Unless someone's beating their child with a shitty stick in the playground, let them get on with it.

You say folk judge you, well, rise above the temptation to do it to others, especially over such trivial stuff.

I hope your DD has settled in and is enjoying school.

dysfunctionalme · 21/08/2012 12:35

Just wait OP till you witness my dreadful parenting, it'll keep you in threads for weeks! You are, I'm afraid, one of those mums who everyone else will learn to avoid.

janey68 · 21/08/2012 12:35

If you feel you are judged yourself, then surely it makes even less sense to go around judging other mums

You sound like a really unpleasant person frankly.

Goldenbear · 21/08/2012 12:35

I agree with Hackmum about point 2 - the child is 4 and calling after his mum to not leave him - rightly so IMO. Aren't you meant to make a 4 year old feel safe. It's not even like he's happy to do it. My DS was in reception Last year and I didn't ever see this occur. If anything it was the opposite and the teacher was trying to push parents out of the classroom that were settling in their children way beyond the 10 minutes allotted for this!

helenthemadex · 21/08/2012 12:37

I don't have issues with childcare. I DO have issues with people using it for the sole reason that they can't be arsed walking in rain or don't like getting up in the morning.

Why? they are I assume paying for breakfast club, why should the mother do it, whats wrong with the father doing it? for all you know this may be the only time he sees his dc during the week, he may work late and the mother may have to do everything else and even if he isn't its his responsibility as much as the mothers.

I have a friend exactly like this, I will happily take her dd to school with my dd but I know she would return the favour and pick mine up for me.

helenthemadex · 21/08/2012 12:38

as to your original question YABVVU

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 21/08/2012 12:39

I have issues with childcare, in that DS's is closing down because it was UNDER subscribed, if only some people had used it for lie ins etc we might not be up shit creek now re. how the heck I'll be able to go to work if I don't find something else fast!

MaryPoppinsBag · 21/08/2012 12:40

Maybe the school should do what ours does and open its doors at 8.30 for children. Y3 to Y6 just go to their classrooms on their own. FS2 to Y2 have their parents go in with them and complete a morning task and then sit on the carpet and read until all the children are in and the register is taken at 8.50.
Then there's no standing about and all children are safe at drop off.
9 am is quite a late start.

Goldenbear · 21/08/2012 12:45

The register got taken at 9.10 in my DS's reception class. However, you could drop them in the classroom at 8.50. Yes 9 does seem late but if that's what time it is you can't just dump your 4 year old. Well you can but should you, especially if he's pretty scared about it.

HildaOgden · 21/08/2012 12:48

You really are coming across as being very judgemental and rigid in your views as to what is 'right and proper'.

None of this should concern you...and if you are that rattled by what has met your disapproval by day 5,I think perhaps you should invest in an A4 pad for the lists of things that will have you going ballistic by mid -term.

Here's a few to start you off....party etiquette(should Sebastian really have to invite Joshua,his mother is frightfully common)playdate etitquette,(ditto)childrens shoes being scuffed (should social services be informed of neglect),packed lunches (oh dear,some parents don't eat organic,I feel ill),parents not attending some sports days etc (oh tut tut,she works full time,she has no time for her children you know.Nothing to do with the possibility of being fired if she misses work,its because she prefers her work over her children,you know)....and the ultimate joy :headlice.Oh what fun you will have with judging those parents.

Seriously,lay off with the judgements.You don't have the right to enforce your way of parenting on anybody.I am quite sure that you aren't perfect either,you know.

And if you are that concerned about the 4 year olds safety in the playground,then say it to a member of staff who will actually address it rather than just tutting about it in a playground.

LookBehindYou · 21/08/2012 12:52

Hilda that was a really bitchy post.