To be annoyed by these parents at dd's school

[EnterWittyNicknameHere]

Setting myself up for another school run here. DD started primary school five days ago, and since then i've witnessed the following:

One mum has been late every day with her primary one child. She gets into the yard just as the last child in the line is going through the door. Her excuse? She was busy doing her makeup and tan, but LO's been ready since 8.00am.

Another mum works at a shop literally a one minute walk from the school. Her child is also in dd's class. She gets to the yard at approx 8.50am, deposits her child there and leaves him standing there hysterical, calling over at him, "I'm sorry X, but mummy has to go to work!"
Twice, i've seen her approach random mums in the yard saying, "Excuse me. Do you mind watching him for a few minutes 'til the bell goes? I can't be late for work."
One of the mums recommended a breakfast club her own child used to attend, but the mum laughed and said she's not paying for 2 hours care when she only needs someone to mind him for a few minutes.

And finally, another mum told me she uses the breakfast club twice a week to give her a 'break.' She is a SAHM, has no other children, but early mornings don't agree with her apparantly. So she gets her husband to drop LO off at breakfast club (also a newstart primary one) on a Thursday and Friday at 7am so she can stay in bed. She's thinking of putting him in after school club too because she lives a twenty minute walk away and can't be arsed traipsing out in the rain to get him. so then her husband can just pick him up after work instead (her words).

I'm shocked! Really shocked. I'm new to the playground stuff, but is this normal?

I feel like the abnormal one by turning up with dd on time each morning.

YABU. The first woman isn't late, the second probably can't afford to pay for two hours of childcare she doesn't actually need and the third one might have all sorts of reasons to send her child to breakfast/after school club but is putting a face on.

FWIW, I am a SAHM and DS1 is doing breakfast club this year. Because he wants to go he often does ASC too, depending on what's on that term (it's more of a club than childcare iyswim, different activities for various year groups). The only reason DS2 (starting P1) isn't going to breakfast club is because a) I don't want to go out that early to take him (DS1 is old enough to take himself) and b) I'd have to go out again 45minutes later to take DD to nursery.

Enjoying the extra social life, your boys sound very well-adjusted. All that neglect must be working.

OP it is a good thing that you've learnt an early school gate lesson on here and not in real life. Phew. It depends what you want from the school run, but most people don't want trouble. Making superficial judgements, without knowing full facts will place you in an isolated position further down the line. The suggestion to offer to help the working mum wanting a tiny bit of help is a good one. It can be a rocky road if you make it so, tread carefully and good luck.

Wow OP. I think I'd be rolling up to the playground at the last minute if I was a parent at your school. Less time for you to judge me against your incredibly superior standards.

also is breakfast/after school is not used it will shut

Oh OP have a and chill out!! None of those examples are bad!!!

when mine were in primary 1 i used to roll up just as the bell went and i lived near the primary school

Makeup+tan mum would make me go , but I'd feel that way even if she arrived 10 minutes early.

Screaming child mum: poor mum, no wonder she legs it fast as she can. Bet the kid would screech even if she did stay. This is my closest to YANBU, if she really is just expecting anyone else to mind him every morning.

Breakfast club mum: that's fantastic idea, dumping children in there 2 mornings/week. Why haven't I trained my DH to do that?

Life is really too short to take so much interest in other people's minor habits.

I remember thinking badly of another mother at the school gates once. Turned out her twins had just been killed when somebody hit the pram a childminder was pushing as she crossed the road. To say I felt like a turd is an understatement. Nose out OP.

och, the tut tutting at the op here, the cries of life's too short

I guess none of you judge anyone then?? yeah right

op, some mothers are lazy self obsessed bitches, seems there are a few at your school gates, better get used to it, it only gets worse...then the day comes your dc can get themselves to and from school and you thank Christ you don't have to do those school gates anymore (hallelujah)

Yep i'm lying through my back teeth. That's what this is. I've nowt better to do than fabricate stories about other mums (rolls eyes). I'm in Scotland, that's why the schools are back. Believe it or not, not all MN members are English.

Personally i find it disgusting to leave a four yo in a yard on their own. I'd be worried sick if i was their mum. If it was me, i'd suck it up and pay someone to mind my child in the mornings, even if i did only need a few minutes' care. At least i could get to work knowing my dd was being looked after, and wasn't at risk of running out of the main gate after me and onto a main road. As for asking random people in the yard to mind her. No chance. To hear from you all that this is a common occurence is shocking.

Nope i don't drive. I walk to school every day. Even if i lived an hour away i wouldn't plank a 4yo into breakfast clubs on their first week at a school just so i couldd have a long lie or i was bothered by a bit of rain. Again, can't believe anyone would agree with this, but oh well.

And as for the mum making her LO late for her first week of school just so she can glam herself up - totally selfish imo.

And i'm not prepared to offer to mind the child. I have my own child to be responsible for who is quite a handful in herself. I don't want someone else's hysterical child under my charge too.

And i've spoken to these mums, and this is accounts of what i've witnessed in the five school days. That's how i know. Again, i have better things to do than invent fairytales for a parenting forum.

Anyway. looks like i've got my answer. I'm being unreasonable for:

disagreeing that a 4yo should be left alone next to a main road or planked with any random adult nearby.

disagreeing that a 4yo should be plonked into breakfast clubs because the parent can't be arsed getting out of bed.

disagreeing that a parent's physical appearance is more important than their child's education.

Thanks.

I am now in my fourth year(started today ) & i couldnt care less what the other parents do. However you might live to regret being so judgemental. Theres a group of us who will watch each others kids in the morning or stay with them until the mum gets here if shes 5 minutes late leaving work. Thats what parents should be doing helping not judging.

No, i'm not a 'proper' Sahm to those who asked. I work part time. Today's a day off.

And yes, first mum did laugh about being late because she was curling her hair. In her words, she 'doesn't like leaving the house like a tramp.'

PooPoo my husbands tastiness has been the discussion of more than one thread over the years thank you

Sorry, just catching up with the replies.

Yes, the first mum WAS late. School starts at 9am. The children have to be in their line at 9am. But they don't get taken in 'til about 5 past 9. And she's been running into the yard at that time just as the last primary one is disappearing through the door.

Sounds like any normal school to me.
You'll always get the late's, the crying kids and the Mum's who need to shoot off.

Get used to it

your judgey pants are pulled up so high they must be strangling you

So school starts before they go in.
OP you are not perfect. You need to get over yourself.
You are bitchy and it will bite you on the arse.

OP I don't think that your initial annoyance is unjustified on one level, based on what you know so far. But I, as an old hand at this, wanted to caution you about voicing, or been seen to be judgy about this at the school gate. The reaction you've had on here is the same as you will get in real life. It's a wide church at the gate. I find that generally people do the best they can.

My God OP, I have been mother #2 on your list and have been helped out many a time by other parents in the school yard because - y'know - we helped each other out. I also totally disagree that other kid's parents and carers are 'random' adults. We are all part of a community and we look out for each other. Oh and before you ask, inner city, rough school.

And running in as the line goes in isn't late. Late is arriving after the door is shut. HTH.

I can't wait for my first ever school run. I'll be able to point and stare at weirdos at dd's school and feel like a smug cow. Yay!

I don't think they're late until the regular door has closed. If they have to be signed in specially at reception, that's late. Lining up is a stupid time-wasting convention, too, but that's another thread!!

(Actually lining up has been good for me, allows an extra 5 minutes to get to school; but poor teachers all stressed out trying to keep order in the line until the bell rings & permits them to go in).

Late is arriving after the door is shut.

and having to do the walk of shame and ring the main door buzzer

And I don't even do my hair/face/tan ever in the morning so I wonder what OP would make of my lateness? Because I certainly wouldn't tell her it was because DS has SN and risk getting a judging for that too.