To want to stand in the middle of the shops and scream 'stop fucking staring at him'

[DozyDuck]

I won't. I've just had enough. DS has ASD. He has a regression at 3.5 he lost all his skills. He's now losing skills again at a rapid pace. I'm worried sick.

In McDonald's today after riding lesson he was making his autistic noises and two teenage girls were staring at him, pointing and laughing . I know they're just kids but it hurt. I opted for a hard state but they just laughed more so I ignored them.

Then on the way home I nipped into the corner shop, where all the shop assistants know us, he's usually fine there but now in the midst of another fucking horrible regression he can't seem to handle it there at all. He was shrieking and pulled a tin off the shelf and I was holding his hands in the queue to stop him (we had run out of milk I had no choice but to go) and some older woman was staring at him and shaking her head.

I wanted to shout at her 'what the actual fuck do you want me to do? He doesn't understand words, doesn't feel pain, I'm trying my hardest!'

I opted for standing in the queu and breaking down in tears.

Luckily the shop assistants came over and said I should ignore them not let people like that bother me etc etc.

I feel like i am now at breaking point and I had better not even leave the house because I just want to shout at them all to get on with it and leaVe us alone. Which will only make them think I'm someone who can't even control myself.

Just leave me alone.

That's horrible saintly.

Thank you LRD

There's 'awareness' and 'acceptance' I just want DS to be accepted the way he is and for people to see I'm doing my best and to leave their judgy pants at home.

The man in tesco who helped pull DSs hands out of my hair didn't know he was autistic, didn't judge me, didn't even ask. He asked if I needed help, helped, then moved on.

LRD thank you that's just what I want, I don't want to educate or raise awareness particularly when I have my children with me and especially at times of high stress. Any offer of help will always be appreciated even if I won't take you up on the offer but failing that I'd say to Sili mind your own business and leave me and my children alone.

He wasn't actually with me when he was told to fuck off, I was paying for something and young surfer who is very fond of ds1 was following him around with me. He went mad! The surfer I mean and told the middle aged 'gentleman' where he could go. I was very grateful.

When he was screamed at, I screamed back then tried not to cry.

Im so sorry saintly

Oh it's okay - I loved the guys response. I think middle aged man got a bit of a shock

The screaming people apologised (which made me nearly cry even more!)

And I have to say in the last eighteen months I have met so many lovely accepting people that it's much easier to deal with the negatives now. They've made up for the 10 years before that!

And as always, you are left thinking, what harm do our children do that people dislike them so much?
Why is the very fact that they exist anathema to some observers?

Awful Saintly Ds was threatened by some yob for "giving him a dirty look" in actual fact it was the autistic corner of the eye look. I cried thankfully the shopkeeper knew of ds and threw the yob out.

I try to think of ds1 as my filter now. He sifts out the people not worth knowing.

OP, My ds is AS & regression now and then, behaviourly/toileting. He doesn't feel pain/understand words and is very much on a high, going to the shops for a newspaper/pint of milk no longer takes 5mins.... more like an hour.

We have had many tuts/stares/giggles/rude comments, i am now at the stage where i pick & chose who i explain he is as to. Most of the time i feel like punching their fucking faces in, i was brought up it is rude to stare (my brother also as) bit that seems to have vanished nowadays! The amount of rude people around is unreal! Tbh i haven't had a problem with other children it is adults! Ds has a tendency to run up to random people tap them and ask have they got pants on/a bum etc, lots take this the wrong way & i find myself apologizing for him A LOT but he doesn't even know what he's saying let alone really doing. I really need a shirt for him saying "Im autistic!!!" but why should i when its the people who are in the wrong not him!!!

sil

forgive me for now having a rant but when even so much as one day in your life starts at 5am dealing with a wet room covered in shit because a 15yo has tried to be helpfull and clean themselves,its taken you 3 hours to dress 5 kids youve been smashed in the head with a bowl and its taken you still longer to feed and clean up aforementioned kids,you have to leave the house at 11 to make sure you get to a 2 oclock child related appointment because its a shift from your normal routine youve been waiting 18 months for the appointment and you need to make sure you factor in a inevitable meltdowns on the way so you dont risk missing it. you have to possitivly handle a child who is bigger than you because there perticular meltdown means you end up with a busted nose and make sure a younger one whose prone to bolting at any loud noise dosnt.and several people start staring causing all of the kids to put hands over ears whilst making strange noises and rocking. and this is all before lunch time perhaps then you could advise me as to the best way to educate others

People who are 'different' stand out more. Like cute babies, beautiful women, extremely old people walking Down a street, people in wheelchair or people 'acting' in a 'different' way.
People will therefore 'look'/clock/acknowledge in various ways. Maybe with a look maybe with a smile.
Apart from the rude people, most are just giving a cursory glance. Some may smile to show empathy. A smile back may be nice at times. That's all.
I wondered out loud on here re. The smiling. I do not mean to patronise.

I went on holiday with a black friend a while ago to a Asian country. Everyone was staring at him, calling him ussain bolt, Eddie murphy, Obama etc.
They were trying to take pics of him secretly on their camera as they were too shy to ask for a photo. My friends response? He offered to have his pics taken with them at the tourist spots,
Laughed at the jokes etc. it charmed them and eased his way.
I was just wondering. That's all.

Claire your DS is welcome to ask me if I have a bum make me feel skinny! Better than DSs classmate asking about the baby in my belly

I'm a size 10-12 and I honestly thought of dieting that day haha. Well they are nothing if not honest right?

DS says 'can I sniff your bottom'

We are all different sil.

Ive never seen two people who both look and act exactly the same.

Nope, I think planet Sil is beyond my communication skills.
I'm pleased your friend enjoyed his holiday, my sister used to get the same reaction when we lived abroad because of her long white blonde hair.

Claire Ds's default phrase is "you're fat" he seems to have some sort of scale too as in the larger you are the louder he says it I think being asked if I had a bum would be a nice change sometimes.

Yeah... I can't understand sil at all.

Never mind.

Sil, stop staring. Carers can be too busy to worry about your smile.

If I saw someone smiling I would smoke back. If no one ever smiles at you sil I think you're probably smiling wrong.

Hahaha! Ds is 5 but on educational reports more 3-4yr old so we are just in the question asking stage! He was mute till he was 4 so catching up in a way!

I was in the shops with him a few weeks ago & he looked at me & shouted "u got fat boobies!" that got a few stares! Again Im a size 12-14 & not massive up top lol! They are so straight to the point tho!

Insanity that's so funny DS is the same with me, he read a book at school that said 'mummy's got wobbly bits' I think it was the large family or something. He says that to me every time I get changed.

Thanks mate

Sorry about my awful spelling, on my phone as knowing my luck i'll get the laptop & Ds will wake! (Thankyou for melatonin!!!)

Just read my message to sil. It's supposed to read
if I saw someone smiling I would smile back

Not smoke

I have not yet have anyone say anything overtly offensive to my ds. He is getting older and hs asd traits are getting more apparent although he is hf but with LDs.
I have had looks and tuts and head shaking.
I hope they never do. Since losing dd I have lost my 'what might happen if I respond agressively' gene.
I am pretty meh about most things. I just can't be arsed.
But I am pretty sure someone telling my 9 year old to fuckoff would push me over the edge.

Dozy the documentary is a three part series on Autism. It is great reading other people's experiences on here, it does not make you feel so alone

'Since losing dd I have lost my 'what might happen if I respond agressively' gene.'

Did you have it replaced with a 'Light the blue touch paper and see what happens' gene?