do not like being called first name by my friends kids

[dafi]

well....

Children who have been brought up with no manners will be rude whatever they call you. Polite ones will be polite whatever they call you.

I think that says it all.
If I got called teacher I called them 'child' back and they soon got the point.
I am not going to have aunty put in front-if the parent puts it there (which they haven't' I would just address the child directly and say call me .... with my first name.

I also like it when ds's friends address me by name, because it means they recognise me for an actual person, rather than a mum-shaped lump who provides the sandwiches!
In fact the ones who will come in the kitchen and say "Nowthen, please can I have a drink?" or whatever are always the polite well brought up ones.
The children who just ignore you, or won't speak to you directly tend to be worse behaved ime.

The children who just ignore you, or won't speak to you directly tend to be worse behaved ime.

Not ime! I've found exactly the opposite with my DC's friends.

My DC are shy with adults so will avoid addressing them directly or making eye-contact if they possibly can, but behave very well for them (at home it's a different matter, of course ). And they are 10 & 12!

I always wonder who people are talking to when they address me as MrsG as it happens so rarely, so I quite enjoy it in a funny way.

I think I may be alone in not liking the American 'Miss FirstName' mentioned upthread.
In my head, I go straight to Gone with The Wind country, deep drawling accents, and slavery. "Now then Mizz Scarlet..".
It may not be a logical jump but it's the one I make and I find it really uncomfortable.
I much prefer to hear 'firstname'. And it's how I introduce myself to children.

I do agree however with adults from call centres etc not using my first name. But then cold calling is annoying anyway; it just adds a level of annoyance when having made me run downstairs/in from the garden to get the phone, they then assume best mate status.

YANBU
My Children call people we know well 'Aunti or Uncle...' If it's a new adult, depending on where they are, I introduce them as 'Mrs/Mr for elderly people' or 'Emma's Mummy etc'. They then have the opportunity to say 'call me ....'

My preference for close friends/familly would be to call me Auntie, otherwise 'DCs Mummy' - It grates a little when I get called 'Whata', but I wouldn't stop them and go against what their parents tell them to call me (unless it was rude!!).

I'm a nickname to all. If someone called me Mrs Maman I would think their parents were fighting to remain in the 50s and it was show offy parenting. Also, an American neighbour's children call me Miss Soso and that makes me feel like a teacher.

I am strict on manners in my house but it is more about saying please and thank you and being considerate.

OP, YANBU.
I'm in the same camp as you whatamistakea, it's how I was raised and most of my friends. I'm 34 and 22 weeks pregnant with dc1 and pleased that my dp feels the same as me, we had similar upbringings.

I would be furious with a NT child of mind over the age of, say, 8, couldn't/wouldn't make brief polite conversation and make eye contact with an adult. Yes, it's hard for some, but they have to learn to do it,

I don't like it either. And I don't allow my children to call an adult by their first name unless that adult has told them to.

It is everyone's right to be addressed how they choose to be. You cannot decide for someone else whether they are or are not being unreasonable to want a particular form of address.

If I want to be Mrs Harsh Pants then I am. If someone else wants to be Donna then fair enough. But they don't have the right to tell me there is something wrong with me for my choice, same as I don't have the right to tell them there is something wrong with them for theirs.

I agree, I felt a bit awkward being called littleducks by a some of a group of three year olds last week. Others called me 'teacher' and done Aunty littleducks (and some clearly had no idea what to say and pulled at my clothes instead )

My kids friends call me dd's/ds's mummy which works. My kids call me mama though.

I don't think I would like to be mrs x, I do tend to insist telesales people call me that though, hate it if they start talking to me as if we were best friends without asking to use my first name.

It is up to you to sort out what the DC calls you- just overrule the parent if you don't like it as in 'I am Mrs Fruits' or 'don't call me Aunty, just exotic' .
I wouldn't put up with Mrs or Miss and then first name.

I know how you feel OP. I'm very happy for DC's friends who I've known for a long time to call me by my first name, especially as they're now teenagers, but I hate it from a younger person who I haven't known for very long - in particular DD's boyfriend. I'm not his friend and he of all people you would think would have the sense to give the impression that he's respectful to his Gf's mum!
I refer to the mums of DCs friends as 'X's mum' in front of the DCs until we've known them for a long while.

What a shame that you've had a rash of rude and sarcastic replies to your post!

I am the opposite! I hate only being known as "ds's mummy".
Also, when I meet school parents I always introduce myself by name, and then say "ds's mum".
I have my own name, and I like knowing other parents actual names.
Similarly, I refer to ds's friends parents as " Tracy" or "Joe", since that is who they are.
Ds knows load of adults, and some of them are Aunty SoandSo, some of them just first name.
At his school the teachers are first name too, which I much prefer to "Miss!"

My DD calls my NCT friends with kids the same age as AuntyFirstname but her friends mums just Firstname. I think it highlights the closer relationship she has with the 'Auntys" and is respectful.

Plus when they collect her from school in an emergency or whatever, her referring to them as Aunty makes it clear she knows them well.

I don't call myself 'X's mum' to other parents, I would introduce myself as, 'Choco, X's mum' but I refer to other mums if mentioning them to my DCs as 'Y's mum' eg 'Remember to thank Y's mum for .....'.
DD makes a point of referring to her friends mums by their first name when she's mentioning them, I think because she thinks it's a grown-up thing to do and I always tell her off. If she says, "Well, what should I call her then?" I tell her not to call her anything at all.
I always refer to their aunties and uncles as, 'Auntie X' etc as I think it's nicer for the auntie to be addressed in this special way, a title which non-family are not afforded and I really like it when the DNs refer to me as 'Auntie Choco' rather than my first name, which nearly anyone can use. I still call my aunties, 'Auntie X'.

" I tell her not to call her anything at all."
!
So mothers should remain nameless?!
Why?
Genuine question-I don't get it.

YABU. It's your name. How can it be disrespectful to be called by your name. (unless you're called OldBitchface or Arsemouth?)
2 good friends with toddlers both refer to me as Auntie Well - it makes me cringe.

My own nieces and nephews just call me Well as that's what I want.
I think these parents use auntie/uncle to mark out very close friends so it would probably be offensive to them if I asked them to drop the auntie.

YABU.

What a load of bollocks. Why should they address you as Mrs such and such? Are you that superior to them?

I reckon its a journo

I would ask them to drop the auntie-tell the DC and then the parent can't interfere. I don't want to be known as so and so's mum-I am a person with a name!

Eh? Ignore! wrong thread! Have reported myself for incompetence!

NowThen, I meant when DC are speaking to other mums if it would be awkward or inaccurate to address them as Mrs X then just say what they're going to say without using any name at all. That's what I used to do. I wouldn't have called the mums of close friends, 'Mrs X' - that would have felt weird, but addressing them by their first name was over familiar.
It irritates me when DD's (very annoying) boyfriend who I've known for less than a year says, 'Hi Choco' when he could just say, 'Hi'. I'm not his friend. He's only in my house because he's DD's friend.

YABU. I can't understand why children still have to call teachers Mrs and Miss etc. Since I left university I have never had to address anyone as anything other than their first name so am finding school (DC starts in September) totally bizarre with grown women addressing each other as Mrs X and Mrs Y :-/ 4 years at nursery teachers where all first name only.

Another pet hate of mine is friends who insist on being called Dr after doing a phd. I don't insist friends add my letters whenever they address me. It is just a bit bizarre!

I honestly can't remember what I used to call the parent's of my friends. Maybe it depended on how close the friendships were. I know I called my best friend's mum 'Mum 2'. My friend and I were so close and I was always made to feel as part of the family. Her brother called me 'Sis'. Other friends I think I must have called them Mrs SoandSo or by their first names.

I grew up in the southern part of the US and know that many of my friend's children now call me Miss Mum or if I was male it would be Mr Mum, and while that might be strange to a lot of English people for 'Deep South' Southerners it is the done thing. We also address our elders with the terms 'mam' and 'sir' as a mark of respect. I find it disrespectful over here when addresses as Love, Darling, Duck, Mate, etc.

My DS's friend generally call me by my first name, though sometimes it can be a bit confusing as I work in the school that some of them go to. So at school I'm Miss Sons and out of school Mum, occasionally there is the slip of the tongue in the classroom.