do not like being called first name by my friends kids

[dafi]

well....

Vivienne I agree, I like the Miss/Mr/Mrs (Christian name) - I think it strikes the balance between respectful and comfortable/friendly. My children go to a play scheme in the holidays on a US air base and this is the convention there - it works very well.

With my DDs' friends I prefer first names though - and if any of them told me to 'hurry up' and stuff like that, they would not be coming round again. It hasn't happened yet, I'm told by my DDs that their friends consider me 'cool but scary' .

dafi duck please come back on thread

I have always been first name - I don't use a title unless I have to.

My bff when I was tiddly absolutely hated me, for years, because I addressed her by her first name when we first met My mum always told my friends to do this with her, so I just thought it was what you did.

She now works with one of my sister's friends and has asked her if I'm still 'ill-mannered' - 25 years later!

I should have called her 'Mrs Stick Up Your Arse'.

YABU.

Oh God, my bffs mum. Not my actual bff.

[tit]

Names are a minefield. Some years ago I thoughtlessly addressed an envelope to my great aunt as 'Mavis Years' rather than Miss M. Years (always called her Auntie Mavis though, and the letter inside was to Auntie Mavis). A Big Deal was made of this - she told my mum, who told me not to be so rude!

I tend to call people the name they are introduced to me by as do my children.

I just can't imagine why a parent now would introduce themselves by title last name to their child's friend. I think it's strange we still call teachers that let alone anyone else!

Stop being so bloody precious!

Mrs dafi
Auntie dafi
dafi

I'm not sure what other options there are... I'd go with dafi.

i find this really tricky. i'm a teacher luviing close to school. most of dcs friends know me as mrs X and are uber-polite aroundd me. i have the rule that out of school im mum and they can use my 1st name. they still call me mrs X.

At the primary school my Dc's previously went to, all the teachers including the head were all referred to by thier first names and thier first names only.
Any letters that needed to be sent to the teachers were only adressed to them, by thier first name.
I remember my nan getting her knickers in a twist about it saying it was disrespectful.
i tried explaining that it's not disrespectful if the children and parents have been requested to use first names

As far as i am aware it has always been like this and am guessing it's still the same
I never knew the surnames of any of the staff apart from the head in all the years i dealt with that school!!!!

This thread has put me in mind of Kevin & Perry,

'Hello Mrs Patterson, yes Mrs Patterson, no Mrs Patterson.

Ha ha squoosh I thought exactly the same thing!!!

I will forever be DC mum.

I would hate to be called mrs pants. Alot of parents are not married and titles are confusing miss mrs ms and people do get offended with wrong titles.

I never had a problem as a teacher. My friend's DCs called me my first name out of school and Mrs in school. I never had to explain, they just realised it was different.

Don't children just use the name they are told when they are introduced to someone? How would they know the Christian/surname otherwise? Mine just call the person whatever the person tells them their name is.

DS has to call his TA Missherfirstname at school but when she is his CM he calls her herfirstname.

My American SIL makes a huge deal about the ma'am thing, stating her DD uses it because she has brought her up to be respectful and 1) you can still be ride and obnoxious and say ma'am before it and 2) it just sounds silly.

If I tell a child to call me one thing and they deliberately call me another name, then as others have said, surely that is them being disrespectful?

What do you want them to call you? Aunt Fanny?

I'm Mrs Groovee at work, so no, I don't want to be Mrs Groovee at home to my friends children or my children's friends. I am auntie Groovee to my daughters godparents children.

YANBU. If you prefer not to be called by your first name, that's your prerogative and while it may be less widespread these days when social etiquette is generally more relaxed, it's no less valid a choice than those posters who do prefer it. Each to their own.

Just introduce yourself as what you want to be called. Say 'hello I am Mrs......' children are not going to know when most people are totally relaxed about it.

Lovebunny, only your close colleagues and family get to call you by your first name?

Your friends must think that's a bit odd.

Op, I think you should be called whatever you want to be called. I don't really understand it, personally. I like to have a friendly relationship with friends kids/children's friends and I think that calling me ms peeps would formalise it, but each to their own.

I think some people mistake formality with respect. It's possible to be informal with respect, just as its possible to be formal with none.

I introduce myself as Ruby at work, and as DS2 attends the childcare at the school/ children's cente where I am based, the children certainly know my first name. DS2's friends call me DS2's Mum, As there's a large Muslim/Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakastani population I get called Auntie a lot (and I'm relieved to hear that anyone over 18 can be called Auntie, it was making me feel elderly). Others call me Miss or Teacher (even though I'm neither). Library Lady is popular too along with just "Library" yelled across the whole of a supermarket.

I don't think I mind what I get called as long as it done with respect. The older children at work can use a first name with a snide inflection which really gets up my nose, but intention is everything isn't it? Children who have been brought up with no manners will be rude whatever they call you. Polite ones will be polite whatever they call you.

When DS1 was little I was called Aunty Ruby by his friends, and our older neighbours like to be called Aunty/Uncle Whatever by DS2. I always called our neighbours Aunty/Uncle Whatever, and it feels to me to be disrespecful not to teach your children to do that if that's what the adult wants.

And it really, really annoys me when shop staff/ random telephone callers/ bank clerks call me by my first name. If I have not told you you can use my first name, then you can't. It's my name and I get to decide who uses it.