To think it's not "sick" tO have a bath with 12 week old DS

[HeidiHole]

Tonight I hopped in the bath with 12 week old son. He loved it, I loved it but I mentioned it to my husband and he said its "sick" for mother and son to share a bath.

He said even though baby is so small he still can't get his head around a mum and a son being in a bath together, the thought was odd.

DH also said he would never share a bath with DS or future children which I think is sad for both of them.

So I said I'd ask on mumsnet. AIBU to bathe with my baby? Have you? And has or does your partner ever have a bath with the kids. I think somehow because DHs own dad was an emotionless distant father who wouldn't in a million years do something like bathe with his baby he imagines all dads are the same.

For what it's worth I vaguely remember baths with my dad and mum (not at same time!) as a toddler/very young child so maybe that colours my view?

Please ask him to define 'sick'

Perfectly normal in my opinion. My 2 DS age 3 and 7 still hop in the bath with me - though it is quite squashy and unpleasant with my eldest now!

My DH bathed with both boys up to the age of 2, but rarely does now due to work hours. Really wierd not to I reckon.

Its the only way we can get DS to have a bloody bath.

Screamed the place down from about 3-4 months old if he went in the little bath, but having a bath with Mummy is a splash/squirty fishy/foam-fest.

Your DH is BVU.

Have you shown him the thread yet?

Ours aren't keen bathers at the moment unless dh or I says we'll get in. Dd aged 6, ds, 3 and dd 13 months. I'm guessing at some point we'll stop. For now, fine. Yanbu.

The dh of a friend of mine thought it was inappropriate for him to change his dd'a nappy

Perhaps that was an excuse to be a lazy arse. Not sure which is worse really!

your DH is very odd! my DP thinks it's great that myself and DD bathe together. it's a lovely way to bond and i used to breastfeed DD in the bath too when she was tiny. she used to really hate baths but after i started bathing with her she loved it and now she will happily be in the bath on her own :)

so you're DH is the one being unreasonable, not you! keep bathing with DS and tell DH to get a grip!

I get in the bath with 4 mo DS, it's so much easier to be in there too rather than leaning over the side to hold him! It's not really a bath for me yet, he's too little yet for much water and it's still quite lukewarm so it's not that comfortable. I'm looking forward to when he's a bit bigger and can sit up and play with his toys.

DH has only bathed with him a couple of times, mainly because I'm on ML and he works shifts so I'm usually on bathtime duty, but I'm sure he will later on when there can be a bit more water and a bit more fun to be had!

OP, I hope you can talk to your DH and find out what his problem is, it sounds like he could benefit from some counselling tbh.

Dh and various numbers of boys all bath together her - we have 4 DSs and firm 'you may tug your own, but nobody else's rule' in the bath.

I have had very few baths with any of them when they were tiny, because I don't do baths - it's showers all the way for me .

OP, does your DH have other intimacy issoos?
'Tis not sick - silly man!

"we have 4 DSs and firm 'you may tug your own, but nobody else's rule' in the bath"

DH bathes with DS and occasionally DD. it's lovely and means I can MN have a sit down before bedtime.

Your DH should explain exactly what he's thinking.

Believe you me, we had to have such a rule, crashdoll

Oh Pacific I hope I have lots of sons. It sounds crazy and hilarious in equal proportions.

It's quite common for me and 1 or 2 DSs - currently aged 2 and 4 - to have a bath together. Also not unheard of for ex P to have a bath with them here too.

I also have clear memories of having baths with my Dad when I was little.

Not sick at all. OP is your DH weird about nudity and children too?

it's not "sick" but maybe he just didn't express himself properly. maybe he just means he is not comfy with it?
i have never ever bathed with any of my dcs and i cant imagine myself ever doing that. does not mean i find others 'sick' if they do it but i just cant get my head around how people are actually comfy with it. its just alien to me.. sounds like your dh is the same.
it doesn't mean he can't show affection in other ways or be a good dad. some people are overreacting here i think. i do get why you would feel offended by him calling you sick, but if my dh bathed with any of the kids i would not be happy with it either (he never has) and tbh i would feel freaked out because im just not comfy with things like that even though i know there would be nothing sinister going on but it would just panic me? so perhaps your dh just felt like that, due to his upbringing as u mentioned, so he reacted instinctively by saying its sick?
just talk to him but try to understand from his side too, he cant help how he feels. don't see why so many of the replies here have to belittle him for it

That is odd, it's lovely to bathe with and have water fun with babies.

Can I be the first to say "leave the (sick) bastard"

Yeah, that's right. Let's be all understanding and sympathetic to the man who called his partner "sick" for sharing a bath with her 12 week old son. Poor wee misunderstood soul.

i have bathed with all of mine. the kitchen sink is reserved for emergency baths and the bath tub for routine ones all routine ones are at the same time as me with the little ones, or if the bigger ones (in my house they tend to hit this at 8/9 if they can still fit) dont wish to bath with me they often dont mind taking a tiny in with them if they do mind then they bath alone (well apart from one who at 13 still requires me to be in the same room when he baths due to a disability).if im extreamly lucky i may get a bath alone usually on my birthday .

im dont think there is anything wrong with not wanting to yourself but to try and say another person who has no issues regarding shared baths is sick if they want to says far more about the person claiming its sick. incidently odd also says a lot about the person as odd is often used to describe abnormal acts.

however he is not alone some people do have weird ideas like that,i can recall being yelled once to remove the triplets from the room so dh could change,they were asleep less than 10 weeks old and he actually was there dad. he did lighten up and chill out.

I've never bathed with my kids. Oh no, I did once with dd when she was little, but only as there was no-one else in the house to have her and I really wanted a bath.

Bath time was dh time with the kids, he did the bath and bed thing from very early on and I just didn't get in the way. I've no idea if they got in together though.

I had to re-read the thread title a few times as I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. What a strange thing for your DH to say!

I can remember going to a work colleagues house when her baby girl was a few weeks old. She got a bath ready in the baby bath in the living room, as she started undressing the baby her H came in and asked us to go in the kitchen as he didn't want us seeing his daughters private parts!! The 3 of us were all women and Mothers, found it extremely strange. My work colleague was mortified but went along with her H's wishes and we had to leave the room.

I prefer showers to baths, but once the DCs could sit unaided, they found themselves in the shower with me regularly, up to about the age of 6-7 when they learnt to shower themselves. Otherise if they wanted a bath they shared with each other.

Sharing showers was always a good way to ensure they got properly clean. DP would often be waiting with a towel to remove the DC to let me finish my own shower in peace.

pacificdog i also have 4 boys and we have the same rule! and now we have a dd as well and if the boys are naked she will try and grab their willies if they get too close! so have to say to her NO, tbf to her tho, ds4 especially likes to be naked and is always stripping off and if he will wander up to her when she is sat down then his willy is at the perfect height for grabbing! she is just 20mths and at that stage where she enjoys getting a reaction! the boys are learning fast not to get in grabbing range!

boys and their willies, i had to try not to laught when ds2 who had just got out of the bath very proudly wanted to show me how he could balance/hand the towel on his erect willy i said that lovely but i do NOT need to see that and then left the room trying not to laugh! they are fab, tho i do wish they would aim better when they wee...

I have been reading this thread with interest. I have 3 teenage children and can honestly say I never bathed with any of them. Not for any other reason than I never even thought about it, and actually I don?t think I would have wanted to.
I am very much the totally adoring Mum but it just is not something that ever entered my head to do. Wouldn?t have done with 2 and 3 anyway as always popped them all in together (only 3+ years between them all) and there would have been no space and with number one I just didn?t. For me the Mums and Tots swimming was great and did loads together but bathing together, no def not.

its lovely having a bath with your baby/child

especially when they are tiny babies its lovely your dh does not know what he is missing what a shame

now ds is 4 he prefers to bath by himself will sometimes jump in but i am usually told to then get out

I'd be a little worried about why your DH feels the way he does.

DD and I often have baths together - she's now 3. When she was tiny and got tummy aches or just crying for no reason the failsafe way to calm her down was to both get in a nice hot bath in the dark.

As a child (the eldest of 4) we all had baths with my parents. They were pretty laid back about nudity and happily wandered around upstairs in the altogether so it didn't seem at all odd.

My DH doesn't have baths with DD but that is because he only likes showers, but she often goes and sits in the bathroom to talk to him while he's showering/shaving etc

I would bet that more parents bath with their kids than don't.