To think it's not "sick" tO have a bath with 12 week old DS

[HeidiHole]

Tonight I hopped in the bath with 12 week old son. He loved it, I loved it but I mentioned it to my husband and he said its "sick" for mother and son to share a bath.

He said even though baby is so small he still can't get his head around a mum and a son being in a bath together, the thought was odd.

DH also said he would never share a bath with DS or future children which I think is sad for both of them.

So I said I'd ask on mumsnet. AIBU to bathe with my baby? Have you? And has or does your partner ever have a bath with the kids. I think somehow because DHs own dad was an emotionless distant father who wouldn't in a million years do something like bathe with his baby he imagines all dads are the same.

For what it's worth I vaguely remember baths with my dad and mum (not at same time!) as a toddler/very young child so maybe that colours my view?

Oh yes, forgot to say, I can't get in the shower without DS wanting in too, he loves it! DD hated the shower at his age.

Pooka love that your DS comes in with an umbrella. Puts my fighting with DS and the duck collection for a bit of elbow room into perspective

I must be really sick! I showered with dd13 the other day!
Our bathroom was out of action, so we were borrowing my DBs shower. His heating runs off of bottled gas, so we showered together to save gas.

I did all my bonding with Dd2 in the bath. Would get Dd1 to school then bath with Dd2 (big age gap). One day it went on so long I was late picking up older child. It was lovely, happy memories. Hope you continue with this. Enjoy your baby time together.

May I join the club? Both myself and my partner bath with our son... He's five months and splashes, pees and tries to eat bubbles!

DH and I regularly share baths with the DDs. (DD1 is 4, DD2 is 14 months). In fact if they have to go in without a parent, they think themselves very hard done by. DH loves it, and sees it as a special fun time with them.

Sick? Oh dear... I bathed with my daughter from when she was a baby. With stepson (was his mum from aged 2, no real mother around) I didn't ever suggest it but he always piled into the bathroom and splashed in! ExDH would never have done it with either child - not his thing but certainly didn't have any issues with me doing it.

My son is almost 10 months old and I have a shower with him most days and baths with him on the other days. Nothing sick about it at all, perfectly natural.

YANBU and I feel very sad for DH he is missing out. Are you sure he isn't using this as an excuse to get out of bathing the baby?

I'm afraid I too am 'sick'. I frequently share a bath with DS and DD1 (7 and 4) and DD2 (6months). Yes all together, along with barbies and barbie eating sharks! There is light at the end of the tunnel as DS has decided he doesn't like baths and wants to be a smelly, sweaty boy. MaybeI'll be able to boot the DDs out of my bath soon too!

him having a bath with his mum now ---- yes that would be odd - not odd when they're teensy though.

Thank you everyone! I told him he'd hurt my feelings

Sorry pressed post top early. Told him he hurt my feelings insinuating it was odd and he still didn't understand. So tO answer a few of you I actually WILL show him this thread. Not a single daddy feels the same as him. Makes me feel really sad for my son That his father has these hang ups and is probably going to let them effect DSs childhood :(

Thank you everyone who posted. Never has MN agreed on something so resoundingly!

I actually feel a bit sorry for your DH because he's been utterly - and unfortunately, rightly - slammed on here, but also because anyone who uses the word 'sick' to describe a mother and baby bathing together must've had a very emotionally-deprived childhood. :(

I feel very sorry for him, indeed.

HeidiHole's DH - please be reassured by our unanimous agreement, and please, please try not to pass your hang-ups onto your children.

My poor DH would back yours up but only to this point... When DD was tiny, she would only BF without shields in the bath so I wanted to bath with her EVERY TWO HOURS. Your DH would probably explode. Mine refused to run a bath every two hours what a weirdo. I still have baths with her now and she is 20 months.

Ignore him. I was bathing with mine sometimes until they were about 5ish.

I'm actually running a bath as we speak for me and DD (20 mo). I love having baths with her. Plus from a purely practical stand-point it means I have time to actually HAVE a bath

I bathe with DS (3.9) sometimes. When he was 2ish we had a very busy time and the only way I got an opportunity to have a bath was to share it with DS!

Bathing with a baby is a wonderful bonding experience. Hubby bathed with our dd when she was a tiny baby. I still do now (she is 12 months) when I need to have a bath and I am alone in the house - it is just easier to take her in and keep her with me.

Send him to a Sauna in Germany where he will find whole families sharing a sauna or hot tub, including children from small to teens, and all naked.

If you take him swimmig is that sick? Or to the beach?

You enjoyed it, so did ds and there is nothing wrong with it. Carry on, your dh is the one with a problem.

Wow? I haven't had many with my DS who is now 4 as we have a not so big corner bath but I used to love getting in the bath with him when he was a baby (unless he wee'd)

I know some men worry about relationships like this with their children - my DH used to worry when DH was 1st born about things like this - he would never call it sick though!

As DS has grown up so has my DH & he doesn't freak out when DS jumps in the shower with him - he just laughs & sees it as killing 2 birds with 1 stone & saving time & water.

Have u asked him y he feels this way?

Nothing wrong with it at all. I don't see how it could be seen as sick [comfused]
My ds 2 always wants to have a bath /shower when I do. Never occurred to me it might be strange!

thurs night is mine and dd's bath night together she's 7.i love spending that time with her especially when she's been at school.we put lovely bubble bath in,light candles,put the radio on and just enjoy it.
often she'll jump in the shower with dh too which saves me doing it

So glad to read that lots of you still bathe with 6+ DCs. I'm trying to wean DS (6) off hopping in with me now, mainly because I rarely get the chance for a nice, long bath, and I don't want to share it with him, iggle bloody piggle, a number of water pistols, some boats and christ knows what else. Obviously this has nothing to do with the fact that my large frame takes up most of the bath anyway, and DS hardly fits in as well now, no of course not . Still chuck him in with DH though, well it saves water, doesn't it?/

Safest way to bathe with a small child imo.