To think it's not "sick" tO have a bath with 12 week old DS

[HeidiHole]

Tonight I hopped in the bath with 12 week old son. He loved it, I loved it but I mentioned it to my husband and he said its "sick" for mother and son to share a bath.

He said even though baby is so small he still can't get his head around a mum and a son being in a bath together, the thought was odd.

DH also said he would never share a bath with DS or future children which I think is sad for both of them.

So I said I'd ask on mumsnet. AIBU to bathe with my baby? Have you? And has or does your partner ever have a bath with the kids. I think somehow because DHs own dad was an emotionless distant father who wouldn't in a million years do something like bathe with his baby he imagines all dads are the same.

For what it's worth I vaguely remember baths with my dad and mum (not at same time!) as a toddler/very young child so maybe that colours my view?

Your DH must think my DH is a dirty pervert then as he has bathed with all three of our DC from a very young age, still does with DS3 (3) ad pretty sure DS2 would join them if there was room.

How odd.

Loved having a bath with the dcs when they were little and all snugly like you ds is, OP. Your H will be even more freaked if he poos!

When they were little and pukey or poorly & inconsolable then a bath laid out over me or STBExH in particular made them feel a lot better.

It's not sick in the perverted way he's insinuating but it would be revolting if your ds did an explosive shit while sharing the bath. If you could cope with that, there's no problem.

Not sick at all.
Both me and DH bath with our DD & DS.

"...but I mentioned it to my husband and he said its "sick" for mother and son to share a bath."

I hate the word 'sick' in this sort of context, but the only 'sick' one in this scenario is the person who thinks it's wrong for children to bathe with parents. :(

On what level could such a lovely act be considered sick? Seriously?

FWIW, my own father had a very emotionally distant father and vowed to be the exact opposite of him with his own children. Why don't you try to suggest to your DH that he challenge his own views on things, rather than continue the status quo?

Wow! (waves the sicko flag)

Ds1 bathed with me occasionally until he was five- it was only occasionally because of all his eczema oils and a cooler temp needed - but it was great fun! Then I had ds2 and they bathed together... Although several times I would be having a bath quietly, and both kids would appear, strip off, and joyfully launch themselves in, with various containers!

Ex-dh missed out somewhat on this cos he had showers in the morning, and was at work at bathtime, but he was absolutely fine with it - it wouldn't have occured to him not be.

They are almost 15 and 9 now, and obviously no longer do this - they stopped when they wanted to - but I have very fond memories of those shared baths! In fact - I remember being in early labour with Ds2 - Ds1 was 5 - and I was in the bath prior to going into hospital. Ds1 stripped off, got into the bath, squeezed up at the tap end, and was very considerate, pouring water over my bump when I had contractions!

Does your dh have issues?

Your DH is a twat.

My dd and i shared a bath a few months ago & shes 8 yrs old. It was a bit squished but we had a ball playing moshi monsters.

I have done and will do with dd and ds but I prefer to be alone (in hot water, reading with wine). Thankfully my dh doesn't mind tepid water and bath toys so he usually does it.

My dh had a bath with our 3 tonight (6, 4 and 1yr). I did comment they were getting a bit big. Not old, big, they looked somewhat squashed.

I bathed with my DS until he was 10 months old when he started wanting more space to play and less time with his mummy

Nothing wrong with it. You're DH is odd for thinking like that.

*Your, sorry.

12 weeks? what the jeff?

my parents walked around the house nude...ok they still do.

I've just bought one of those sitty uppy bath seats for my 7mo dd2 and I was wracking my brains trying to remember why we never had one with dd1. Then I remembered that she used to bath with DH from day one. She takes up too much room now but loves to bath with dd2, hence why he doesn't do the same with her.

I've never done it because I'm too fat, self conscious and stupid to let them into the bath with me. It's one of my many regrets.

i think joint bathing stops when one of you is too big.

DS(5) actually gets all annoyed if I suggest having a bath without him. He says that wet cuddles are his favorite. Roll on back to school so I can get a bath in peace.

Dh and I still bathe/shower with our six and two year old DCs.

My DC have their baths together and every now and then DD, 2, goes through a scared-of-water phase and doesn't want to get in the bath. Problem solved by me hopping in with both of them. DS is 3.5 and it didn't even occur to me to think it was odd.

That it would occur to someone says far more about them, then it does about the act of parents and children bathing together.

I don't blame your DH per se, as he is simply a product of his upbringing. But maybe show him this thread as a way of possibly enlightening him into a world of loving parentchild relationships!!

Poor ds2 really missed out because we couldn't bath together. He was not 'mine' and it wasn't allowed.
Couldn't have him in bed with me either.
And if ever their was a baby who could have done with the skin to skin and cosleeping it was that little scrap.

Like many others, I (or dh) bathed with ds until he was 2 or 3. Particularly when he was small, it was actually a much safer way to give him a bath - and we could have fun while doing so. :)

The "sickness" is in the head of the person who thinks it's sick sorry

Admittedly I think my parents would never have bathed with me and my sister in a million years.

My dad is a bit old-fashioned (he thought since we were girls we should mostly interact with our mum, although he's mellowed on this in the past 20 years) and my mum is very very private phobic about all things physical (haven't seen her unclothed since I was 4 or 5). So your DH isn't the only one out there who might feel this way, but I'm not sure it's a healthy attitude to have.

mrsdevere i wondered that as i have thought about fostering when my children are older, but i have always co-slept etc and i assumed it wouldnt be 'allowed' but how would they know? i mean if it was a baby its not like the baby can talk!

Bathing with babies is so lovely. I've only had 2 solo baths in five years - both when I was in labour with DS2 and couldn't handle a two year old and contractions at the same time. Your DH should maybe have a bath with your DS and realise that it's normal.

What a sad attitude.

I loved bathing with my babies - an excellent continuation of the 'skin to skin' bonding that is so important for tiny babies. Or does he think that's sick too

FWIW my DH has always covered up in front of the DCs and didn't want to bathe with them (I think he did try it) - I respect that, he was abused as a child and that has given him some 'hang ups' - but he wouldn't in a million years call me or any other parent 'sick' for it.

Your DH has ishoos, not you. My DS7 still loves to jump in the bath with me, if I run a bath when he's up the first thing that happens is all the bath toys come in 'to keep me company', then the clothes are off, then the little wriggler jumps in. '5 minutes peace' is our favourite book too, mainly cos DS is so disbelieving of the mum's desire for peace. 'She's not like you mummy, you never want 5 minutes peace from me'. Me: 'eerrrrmmmmmm.....'