to be lonely....?

[WoodlandHills]

I can't be the only one....can I?

I feel like a real sad case writing this, and I really don't want this post to come across as self pitying - but I hardly have any real friends.

Up till early this year I had a close friend who lived near me, she was probably the nearest thing I had to a "best friend" our DC were close too....but we had a big falling out, it turned out she was not the person I thought she was, and she moved away (not because of the fall out). There was no going back anyway after what happened. I was pretty traumatised tbh and spent many weeks very upset, it was awful.

I also have a long term childhood friend, we were very close growing up and into our 20's, she was probably also another "best friend" ...but the last few years we have really grown apart, not sure why. But I am always the one doing the organising meet ups etc, and she often lets me down. It's quite soul destroying making all the effort as I feel if I didn't, I would never see her.

I then have 3 or 4 casual friends, but I just don't really click with them. I like to see them, but often feel awkward around them, run out of things to say etc. I would say they are "mum friends" - and I don't think I would be friends with them if it wasn't for having DC the same age.

I also feel I am quite a walkover, almost as if to get people to like me - for example one of these "friends" I was seeing quite a lot, but I realised whenever she wanted to meet, she was asking me to take her places all the time (I have a car, she didn't) but recently she has bought a car I never hear from her. god writing this down makes me embarassed tbh.

The summer holidays have brought it home to me even more, particularly this year as last summer hols I spent a lot of time with my ex friend. I do work, but only 2 days a week, and my job is not sociable at all so have not made any friends through work. So whenever I am not at work I am home with the DC, I make the effort and take them out, swimming, park, soft play etc but I feel so lonely even though I am with them. They are 6 and 3.

I have even tried netmums "meet a mum" service but not really had much joy.

Will join the fb page tomo great idea :) anyone else from leics pm me :)

a bit of a lurker here and don't post much. I am Glasgow and have sent friend request re FB. feel the same!!

R2 roughly where in N.Essex are you? I'm in Herts and the next town from me is in N.Essex...

I love the FB page idea. I can't get the link to work, but have sent an email to the yahoo address, so hopefully I'll be on it soon.

Ooo, managed to get the link to work now.

Fanny I'm in Colchester which I think is the other side of Essex to Herts (geography not my strong suit).

Another in the same boat!

I can definitely relate to the wedding thing. I was really pleased to make a group of 'friends' through playgroups but after a falling out with one of them I have more or less lost the group. I am currently planning my wedding and it has really made me face up to the fact that I have very few close friends and of those, the relationship is largely dependent on my effort.

I have recently plucked up the courage to swap numbers with someone from my DDs dance class and now we are texting after she confessed to being lonely and in the same situation. Hopefully i will have made a good friend there.

I've joined the FB group anyway .

Same here. Anyone in N Kent? Also love the facebook idea. Have sent a request.

Same boat too... have joined the fB page, and would like to be friends with any Surrey / West Sussex mums! Such a good idea...

morning!...I've sent friend request to the FB link....Edinburgh Area here!!!

Can't believe how many of us there are feeling this way! I always assumed everyone had lots of friends compared to me. Have sent request to fb.

Is the FB group secret? I'd like to join, but don't want to reveal my profile to everybody yet, and don't want my fb friends to see what I've joined...

yes it's secret. you become friends with "Anne Smith" then get in to the secret group which only the members can ever see anything of. It will not show on your profile.

I have added everyone who has asked to the group.

Great, here I come .

I havent read the whole thread yet, but i will. i also get lonely and feel quite isolated as a SAHM. my little boy is 10months old and i/we have very few friends who make the effort to stay in touch. only see 2 friends from school, and both are such social butterflies that i only see them every 3-4 months. lost touch with all my college friends when i left my college boyfriend. we are in sussex, close to the east/west border if anyone else on here is near me i would love to chat.

Have sent request to fb.

I'm in Leeds. The girls in my NCT group are nice enough but they're all on the other site

I'm so pleased that so many people have found this thread and joined the fb group x

well now that iv read it all i feel slightly better in a funny sort of way. have sent a friend request to anne smith

oh just found this - I have a lot of friends but very few nearby and I do get lonely...I am going to send a friend request too! (I am in Cambridgeshire, btw)

I'm the same. Have sent a request to the FB group too, although I'm willing to bet that nobody will live near me and i don't drive, so probably pointless, but worth a go.

I feel the same as the OP. I have 4 children and a DH but sadly, no adult female friends left here. Here I was feeling like it was just me and it just took the op to show us how many of us there are.

Dawn I am in Yorkshire too!

Jules, CanI where are you in SY? I'm in Rotherham

careful now....read the thread on people randomly popping in...you do not want to open up your private little nuclear family to VISITORS. Imagine having to offer a cuppa!!shudder!!!

All you Yorkshire lasses! Another one here bit fed up with few mates since relocating to south/west Yorkshire border. Work freelance so little opportunity for socialising. Embarrasing but gonna join the FB group.