Obviously you should try to be less judgemental, but that's probably true for everyone.
I do dress reasonably smartly every day. It's not something I have deep feelings about, but I observed I got better treatment from other people (esp in hospital etc) and it seemed to be a relatively small investment for a good return. I buy good clothes off eBay and keep my boots clean, is all. But it's probably not a great system to collude with. I'm not sure it makes life better/fairer/kinder.
On the other hand, I was in my local supermarket last week (round our way is very poor), and I was depressed by the people around me who were generally dressed as overgrown babies, and looked slumped and surrendered. It felt grim in there, and the sweatpants weren't helping (though obviously they were not the central cause of deprivation!).
It seems that no matter what you do, you're making some kind of statement about who you are. The inferences are astounding: about the kind of mother you are, the kind of person. I just don't think hairstyles are that eloquent.
I do find makeup tedious and I cut my own hair because I can't stand hairdressers. I don't like talking to or being touched by strangers, tbh. I did hair modelling at shows as a teenager and I used up my tolerance for hair and makeup, maybe.
But I feel pretty okay about how I look, which it seems is unusual. I'm not very pretty, but I am happy in my skin. Hahaha, I'm going to say something that is so smug I think you are all within your rights to throw things, but! My natural lip colour is nicer than any lipstick I've ever seen. It would be a shame to cover it.