So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

Does it rally bug you when pregnant women put on weight too? I mean there is just no excuse to buy bigger clothes and wear those terrible maternity outfits.

And seriously breast feeding? That's so medieval.

And as for the poor children. I mean they have a mummy who thinks it is important to play with them when she should be sticking them in a pram and spend a couple of hours waxing, preening and choosing designer clothes.

That's what children remember about their mummy when they were growing up, the nice clothes, the hair, the make up - no one remembers bed time stories, fun days out or finger painting.

OP you are full of it.

HTH

TQoD, you look rather lovely in all of those, shit-shovelling & all!

When I was your sort of age, I was quite compulsive about the make up & so forth too, to be fair. & I get that you aren't going to believe it that you actually look great in that third picture - it's a picture of a long-legged girl with amazing cheekbones, what's not to like?

It's actually depressing that you're looking at that photo of yourself - someone who is clearly very good-looking & dressed entirely appropriately for a mucky job - & thinking it's 'unacceptable', & not speaking to people unless you have to.

This is why I can't be doing with attitudes like the OPs; it undermines people, hurts their self-esteem & gets in the way of more important stuff.

I can offer you a Valium OP, and a one way ticket to Paris where all the mummies look like supermodels apparently

People with their head up their own arse bug me but I guess we all have to deal with things we don't like.

Thankyou Raven.

I agree attitudes like the OPs are damaging. Its similar to what started my obsession with my looks off. People who will write you off if your face doesn't fit, or your outfit isn't right. They engrave this attitude into their childrens minds, who then engrave it into other children at school etc, by bullying them mercilessly.

The ironic thing is, the women who do this are the very same women who will sit and bitch about other women, and call them self-obsessed, or vein. I won't deny being self obsessed in this area, but the women who will call me for it are the sorts who put me in the position where I started feeling like it in the first place.

I probably come across as very whiney now. I'm not one to blame others for my problems, but I do feel self confidence problems arean area that is so easily influenced by others.

I love not having to make an effort - before DS I worked in an office and had to look smart and be in heels (well not "had to" but I am a weeny 5ft4 so needed them!).

Now I spend most of my time crawling around, playing "snappy chase", pretending to be a lion, picking up a child who is muddy or foody, sitting in a sand pit, going for muddy walks - and it's so nice to just fling on jeans and a jumper and then not even give my appearance a tiny consideration until the day is over.

I do wear make up but only really if I'm meeting friends.

Isn't it nice how we're all different?

SO how old are your kids OP?

I didn't really give a shit before ds and now that anything i wear is likely to end up covered in food or body fluids and nail varnish doesn't get the chance to dry i care even less. Why you care what i wear i don't understand. Frankly it's none of your business.

QoD you look fantastic but now you dismiss women who do not have your values, just as once you were dismissed by others for not having theirs. I take time over my appearance but certainly do not judge others who do not. Anyway I am 60 so would probably fail all the style standards automatically.

my first ever

In fact let's celebrate, have another

Hope it doesn't bursts the seems on your wedding dress.

See, I think mummy jeans (high waisted) are brilliant. When you spend your entire life bending down to pick up a child, or crawling round on the floor, hipster/low waist jeans are a nighymare. Noone needs to see that much of your bum crack.

I do still wear make up everyday, but its more out of habit. And my baby still naps. I can see it changing if he gives up the morning nap.

Let's hope you don't sniff out telco brands on your wedding day or we'll be expecting another thread.

*tesco

I do agree but not with how harshly you've put it.
I wear make up everyday and take an interest in what I wear but I do it for me. I did it before my DD, it's just how I am, however I'm not bothered what other people are doing. But I do think there's always 10 mins to sort yourself out, if you want to make an effort you can find the time.
Also I hate that the idea that if you and your kids are dressed nicely than you don't play with them and they can't get messy. My DD is always dressed nicely but I'm not fussed if she gets dirty

OP, did you have that chat with your bridesmaids yet?

They all need to loose weight or will look bad in the wedding pictures apparently

But I don't tend to want to make the effort. As long as I've had a shower, ran a brush through my hair, brushed my teeth and don't scare the children, I'm fine with my appearance.

Samantha Brick? Is that you?

Some women are just not interested in clothes and appearances - everyone is different and they have different priorities.

Is this really all you have to worry about, OP?

Well OP, for me it's a money thing. The kids (we have three) always need something, be it shoes, or coats, or uniform or trousers, or whatever else they have sprouted out of, or shredded through rough and tumble.

I myself have about four bottoms and five tops to choose between...and sometimes when I need an item of clothing, my heart says Monsoon, but the pennies dictate Asda.

I decent top say, will set me back £40-£50. Bang goes three days food. Asda will sell me a dress or a pair of jeans for a tenner.

So if it's a choice between me getting some clothes and us eating, then there's not much deliberation. Same with haircuts - I love my hair, I have good hair, but at £25 a cut, it's hard to maintain a style.

Sorry if I piss you off in my Asda top and hair that needs a good cut...but thems the breaks. Count yourself lucky you don't have to make that sacrifice.

Tbh OP coping with full time job and two Children with disabilities has made me reassess what's importat. I try to look ok when I leave house and do sometimes buy nice clothes but it's not my to priority. As for caring or judging others for how they decide to dress I think you need to wind your neck in.

Op what you say is obviously completely ridiculous for the reasons all the MNers before have given you.

However, I agree with the poster earlier who said that this often goes too far the other way. And that women to take an interest in fashion and make up and the like are vacuous idiots who are clearly neglecting their kids, don't play with them, and are somehow cold and distant and less motherly. That those mothers who don't care, are kinder, more fun, have "better things to do with their time". That they're morally superior and just better people and mothers.

That, to me, is just as much judgemental bullshit as the op.

Someone said they "felt sorry" for the children of mothers who are all dressed up because they were obviously bring told off all the time, while her dc was happy. Bollocks.

And of course not all children are babies and toddlers. My dc are old enough that smearing food or bodily fluids on me is not an issue. I don't have to "run after them". My clothes therefore don't need to reflect that partied of my life.

So, while you're being a bit of a knob, the reaction you got was equally depressing.