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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

489 replies

sostressedsostressed · 10/08/2012 01:18

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 10/08/2012 08:28

It's amazing what they can do with photoshop these days.
I think they might have trouble though, making OP appear close to human is going to be a bloody big task Grin

Badvoc · 10/08/2012 08:29

Shallow much?
:)

Longtalljosie · 10/08/2012 08:30

I suspect people changing the way they dress is influenced by a lot of factors.

  1. How much money they have after having children - it's easy to get your mum wardrobe from Gap if you are reasonably well off. More economical to get it from Tesco if you're not.
  1. What your shape is like after having children - it's easy to keep on buying what you used to buy if you return to the same shape. If your shape is different you haven't got the time to (as one would do pre-DCs) try on half the high street to find the perfect jeans. And cheaper jeans are often cut more generously so are more likely to fit all sorts of shapes.
  1. How much time you have for yourself
  1. How you feel about yourself. If you feel like the person you were in your 20s has gone, you don't make any effort to dress like her.
  1. If you work. Working means you must buy smart clothes - and often those end up filtering down to your everyday wardrobe.
Thumbwitch · 10/08/2012 08:34
usualsuspect · 10/08/2012 08:36

I think the OP is one of them goader types.

GimmieChocolate · 10/08/2012 08:37

I'm fortunate enough that my 11week old DD takes a good morning nap (which I know others aren't as lucky with) so I get to shower, do hair and put on a full face of make up everyday. I'm one if these women that wouldn't dream about going out without make up on and always have been. I'd love to have the confidence (and the lovely clear skin!) not to though! I haven't had my shockingly horrendous dark brown roots naturally honey blonde hair done since 6 weeks before DD born however so look a bit rough on that side of things!

I think with clothes everyone has different tastes and personally for me I have always liked to spend money on clothes make up and shoes and am fortunate that I am still able to, even though my high heels aren't quite back on yet! It doesn't mean my DD suffers as every waking moment she has, she's got my undivided attention.

I'm sure there will come a time where I might not have the time to spend so long on myself but while I can I'm making most of it!

bubalou · 10/08/2012 08:39

Tee2072 some people just want to post things without getting a massive uprising from some of the MN vultures that just seem to love a good argument.

Yes she should have worded it differently maybe - what other mums wear doesn't bother me - I couldn't care less. But she doesn't deserve a tirade of abuse.

Kindly go boil your head

usualsuspect · 10/08/2012 08:40

Have we been invaded by idiots another forum?

MrTumblesSpottyBum · 10/08/2012 08:46

Oh dear OP, is Leesar's mum letting herself go? Hmm

porcamiseria · 10/08/2012 08:46

maybe they always looked a bit crap?

Megatron · 10/08/2012 08:47

Well if it bugs you perhaps you need to get a hobby?

I make an effort depending on what I'm doing that day but I guess it depends what your priorities are really OP. If we're staying around the house and garden I don't bother too much but if we're going out then I feel better if I make more of an effort but it would never occur to me to criticise anyone else for what they wear. Still if that's what floats your boat OP go ahead, I doubt anyone thinks much of your opinion anyway.

Never been one for sticking the kids in front of the telly while I spend hours getting myself ready though.

Tee2072 · 10/08/2012 08:48

Oh okay, so "kindly go boil your head" isn't abuse and you aren't just as bad as the rest of us?

WildWorld2004 · 10/08/2012 08:48

I dont wear make up. Never have never will. My hair is always brushed & my clothes are always clean. Who cares what other people think of me. I dont.
I dont look at what the other mums at school look like. We are too busy talking & having a laugh.

OP you had better buy a bigger wedding dress because heres another Biscuit

hidesgoldmedalsinthesofa · 10/08/2012 08:49

Ah binky I love you!

Photoshop can get the green out of the skintone can't it?

BeatriceBean · 10/08/2012 08:52

Wow buba. I'm another one with a dysfunctional childhood who never had anyone to show me these things. Or any money. I would love someone like your mum to do that for me! It must make a difference.

The other thing is I've never really spent money on clothes or makeup so the cost of a single 'nice' item puts me off. We could go on a cheap holiday or do something in the house or put money towards a car etc etc than kit myself out. On the other hand I'd love to look a bit more groomed or together. I've no idea how to put an outfit together, how to find clothes that flatter, where to start with make up. I'd love a nice smell too but no idea where to start with that either.

Gives up overwhelmed and goes back to jeans and a top!

CaseyShraeger · 10/08/2012 08:52

Clothes I wear get covered in paint (theoretically washable, but some of the colours never seem to quite come out). And pen, and biro, and snot (oh, soooo much snot). And various squishy fruit items. And stickiness of indeterminate origin. And sometimes sick or poo. When I buy jeans and T-shirt they tend to.be cheap. And we used to have two incomes to clothe two of us, and plenty of occasions to wear smart clothes. Now we have one income to clothe five of us, and smart stuff doesn't get a lot of runs out (see paint/pen/biro/snot/etc.) so really needs to be justified. And my feet spread when I was pregnant with DC1 so now I have to buy shoes from specialist wide-feet mail order places that cater mostly for the less sprightly type of octogenarian.

And I don't want to look "fashionable". I want to look clean (not always achievable) and decent and to feel comfortable. making the OP happy is way down my list of priorities.

MrsKeithRichards · 10/08/2012 08:52

I get ya op.

But more than that I hate people who sneer at mum's who do make an effort. Probably because these women spend all their time saying they can't possibly brush their hair or put on some slap and feel a bit shown up when someone shows them up. So they attack their parenting instead.

bubalou · 10/08/2012 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

usualsuspect · 10/08/2012 08:55

I think the OP was hoping that posters would pounce TBH.

BBwolefs · 10/08/2012 08:56

binky glad to see you noticed it was your old facially challenged pall did you see my worship on the other thread before it went poof? Grin

bubalou · 10/08/2012 08:57

I don't look down my nose at mums who don't wear make up - I don't care.

I find that some (before u get narky) mums that don't wear makeup can be really rude to those that do!

Trust me my child is not left hungry & unwashed bcoz I spend 15 minutes in the morning getting myself ready.

In regards to clothes I live in jeans & T-shirts. Doesn't mean I'm not trendy, I'm a mum, I want to be comfortable.

ChunkyPickle · 10/08/2012 08:58

Luckily I and my friends and family don't estimate our worth based on where our jeans come from or even whether we've brushed our hair.

If someone wants to dress well, good for them. If they don't, good for them too.

lastnerve · 10/08/2012 09:00

I have a sn toddler physically having the time would be nice.

hidesgoldmedalsinthesofa · 10/08/2012 09:01

OP still hasn't told us what her bm's said. I must know!

wordfactory · 10/08/2012 09:05

OP are you my Mother?

You sound at least 60, if not older.

I think you'll find modern women can and should dress exactly as they please.

Yes I like clothes and keep my hair, nails and skin groomed. But I couldn't give a stuff about women who don't. They are not in any way inferior.