So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

It doesn't make you feel good if you don't value your worth on your appearance. If you have more in your life to feel good about.
Does what men wear annoy you?

I was going to write a whole long post explaining why I prefer to spend my time looking after my DS rather than dolling myself up. But then I thought fuck it

Ok I see you answered. You do know that you arnt these other women? In the same way you arnt a man. So why should that mean you care do much?

I don't think people change that much after kids, if they took care of their appearance before, they most likely will after. The ones that are a state and blaming it on the kids are probably the ones who always looked shit, but noe feel they have a valid excuse ,see previous posts for the numerous reasons! My friends, nor I significantly changed, and at 45, I know tonnes of folk who have had kids, we all still look hot.

OP do you have children?

Wow - so you see every other woman in the world as someone who represents you. That's one hell of an ego.

But what is 'taking care of your appearance'? Is it applying makeup, dying your hair, painting your nails?

HTH

I hate it when people say a women prettifying is her taking care of herself. As though you are neglectful if you don't wanna confirm.
Do all men and children just look dog rough all the time? Seeing as they don't wear makeup and sexy clothes.

*conform

I like to see the shock on peoples faces when I tart myself up. The transformation is amazing

I used to be suited and booted all the time before DD. I just feel comfortable enough not to bother with makeup now , and I like the way I feel different when I wear my normal everyday clobber to getting all poshed up.

Seriously OP - why do you give a toss? It is really none of your business.

Personally I think fashion is really boring - and I would rather spend my hard earned cash on something more interesting and worthwhile.

Perhaps when you become a mother you learn that there are more important things in life than caring what other people think about what you look like? Do people really have to make an effort for strangers in the street?

Some Tesco clothes are lovely

I always ...

have my hair highlighted (I can't bear roots)
foundation
mascara
perfume

My clothes are simple but I think I suit quite a simple style, probably a simple person Oh and I get my eyebrows waxed ...

I hate the martrydom though! When you "admit" to having spent more than £10 on yourself and other women look shocked

Mind you I will confess DD is always beautifully dressed even when I look like a tramp!

If people don't want to put effort into their appearance that's fine, its not my choice but then everyone's different aren't they.

The thing I really resent is that sometimes it comes over as being superior because you don't care, or you look a mess because you 'haven't the time'. I've definitely seen on mn before it being said that why are people putting make up on and doing their hair, when they could be spending that time with their children or comments which make it really clear that no interest is intellectually superior.

I'm not some sort of mental deficient, or someone who swans about with fuck all to do, people judge me based on how I look, it's always assumed I lack qualifications, or that I couldn't run my own serious business. For some bizarre reason people always think I'm a single parent but I don't know if that's related. Whatever, it's really frustrating.

Have you ever tried getting a hair cut with a 2 yr old in tow? Its not a pleasant experience!

I was never fashionable before having children. I never wear make up (but I never did, the few times I tried as a teenager landed me in serious trouble and I never had anyone to show me how.) and th ability to be able to dash after a 2 1/2 yr old and br a baby on the go (plus hiding the belly) without buying more clothes means I generally look a bit scruffy. And muddy.

I do feel sorry though for the children strapped in their buggies being pushed around town by fashion plates whilst DS splashes in every puddle he can find. These are gmerally the children who get really upset or even told off if they get a speck of dirt on their clothes when (if) they venture into the wilderness of the town park.

Haha. I have told my DH to disown me the day i wear high waisted mum jeans and (shudder) polofleeces . . .
But I've always been into fashion. not too fussed about makeup though . . . and I haven't washed my hair in 4 (eek!) days. (Housebound with 2 sick kids - think thats a fair enough excuse).

I can't say I've noticed what mum's are wearing, I certainly don't judge them for it! But while you're at it can you come round my house and tell my husband to shave? We don't even have kids so he has 'no excuse'.

You sound nice OP

Good luck with the wedding

DH only started shaving regularly when he realised he only got kissed on the days he shaved!

Kiwi- that I can't do. I have to wash my hair each day. Make up, the rest I can live without, but the hair has to be washed! Hope the kids are better soon.

I actually quite like getting my goth on for nights out, wearing something appropriate but not terribly interesting for work, & wandering around looking like I've been shipwrecked when I'm on holiday.

I don't get the 'looking good makes you feel good' thing, tbh, or at least not as '...& that's the only way to feel good!'

Yes, if I've decided to doll myself up, it feels lovely. Cheers me up no end.

However, I've spent all day in a tatty vest top, embarrassing crushed velvet trousers from Help the Aged, & a scruffy old pair of men's trainers. This also feels completely fabulous, because I would usually, on a Thursday, in term time, be wearing Something Sensible.

The gist of the OP seems to be that you have to look presentable, for a narrow range of what presentable actually IS, all the time. She sounds like my mum. Bollocks to that!

I am the opposite. I envy mothers who aren't too fussed about how they look, and will sacrifice looking fashionable and made up for an extra half hour in bed before doing the school run or whatever.

Make up and nice clothes make me feel good. I literally feel inferior without it. I feel like people are laughing at me without it. I have gone as far as to convince myself that people accept me and are nicer to me when I am dressed nicely and have make up on.

This is how I looked at the farm. Shovelling shit the other day. Seriously. Shovelling shit and nothing more.

pic.twitter.com/hb0SnexX

This is me not bothering much, I don't feel comfortable, but not too bad because I do have a bit of make up on;

pic.twitter.com/ySDtsN8M

This is unacceptable. I don't care how practical. I don't even speak unless I have to when I'm dressed like this. No close up but no make up on and horrible coat and cap to hide my hair;

pic.twitter.com/a79ZdYCe

I really wish I could get up every morning and not give a toss!

Bloody hell TheQueen don't show yourself up... where are your heels? And pearls?

But seriously how can you be so pretty shovelling shit? Stop it.

I do wear make up every day and would never leave the house with greasy hair (unless under a hat which is styled to my outfit!)

I do however buy supermarket clothes as with a toddler who loves to jump in puddles, roll down hills etc and a baby who spits up constantly there's no point buying anything else.
Each to their own though.

Lol furball :)

I do also worry about my own 'issues' affecting my daughters view on beauty. I don't want her to be like me. I probably tell her she is beautiful more than is normal. But I want her to feel beautiful no matter what. I'd be devastated if she felt the need to cake herself in make up to feel presentable.

She tells me "Mummy is pretty AND beautiful" which is sweet lol. Daddy is apparently "just pretty".