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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

489 replies

sostressedsostressed · 10/08/2012 01:18

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

OP posts:
KenLeeeeeee · 10/08/2012 07:18

OP, you get my first ever Biscuit

CharlieUniformNovemberTango · 10/08/2012 07:20

What really really bugs me is that some people think I should dress to please THEM. I am not a walking canvas. If you want to see something pretty go to a fucking art gallery.

neverquitesure · 10/08/2012 07:20

Please don't underestimate the impact of being poor.

melliebobs · 10/08/2012 07:21

When I had a baby suffering with chronic reflux who screamed and or vomited 10-15 hrs a day without pausing for breath n couldn't be put down looking nice was the least of my bloody worries. Up until 4 month it was a miracle u ever got outta my pajamas!

pictish · 10/08/2012 07:21

I like looking like I give a shit about myself. I think that if I look like I value myself, then other people will assume there's something there of value, so will treat me accordingly. I don't mean in the way of expensive statusy crap, or being showy...but just in the subtle ways we show that we spend time on ourselves...decent haircut etc...
So it's not as if I disagree with you OP.
But you are not being realistic...at least not regarding anyone else's set up.
It's not always that easy.

EmilieFloge · 10/08/2012 07:22

Looks like someone was just a bit pissed last night and decided to create some hassle.

I would ignore it. Not a very helpful poster elsewhere as far as I remember, either.

Scarredbutnotbroken · 10/08/2012 07:23

I don't think it's having kids -I thin you'd either dress in Tesco jeans or you wouldn't.

NCForNow · 10/08/2012 07:24

I am so glad you are someone for whom life has not changed post baby. I wonder how many you've got? One neat one? Or four challenging ones? Do you have a decent income or are you scraping by on minimum wage?

Has anyone in your family got health or education issues? Because I tell you darling, once you're the parent of a child with education issues...or health issues...then a nice pair of jeans and a bit of lippy suddenly becomes very unimportant.

MrsHoarder · 10/08/2012 07:25

I only have a baby, and I currently live in cheap Jersey dresses and leggings. This is because i've lost my figure, have no time and get covered in sick most days. Doesn't mean I will never be stylish again, but it isn't top of my priority list just now.

For the people who don't know how to use makeup, I recommend going to a makeup counter if budget permits. Tell them you aren't sure what will suit you and they will make you up and then sell you the products they used. Clinique are pretty good.

Babyrabbits · 10/08/2012 07:26

Because you put your children first. Having one baby is hard two means that its difficult to keep all the balls on the air.

I also guess you haven't got children and god help you when you do as your clearly very judgmental.

There is enough guilt with children and your clearly shallow and vain and have a long way to fall.

pictish · 10/08/2012 07:26

And yes, those who claim well turned out mothers are rigid and lacking in warmth, are just enjoying a wee daydream that makes them feel better...which is ok, so long as none of us hold any weight to it, because it's just not true.

rhetorician · 10/08/2012 07:27

why on earth do you care? I thought when I read OP you were going to be one of those annoying men who complains that their wives are fat and unattractive after having children...when in fact they simply have other priorities

Whirliwig72 · 10/08/2012 07:30

I think (hope) when you become a parent your priorities change a bit. My favourite photo of myself is one that was taken at a children's party - I'm dressed as a pirate with a drawn on moustache, a big old shiny face and undoubtably baby sick on my shoulder but I'm beaming and so is the child on my lap. Love getting older and realising the pressure to look fashionable /stylish is just a pile of stress making crap!

Chandon · 10/08/2012 07:30

but melliebobs, would you still be in your pjs by the time he was 5, or 15? (saying that I lived in topshop jeans when I had my refluxy baby, and not sure that is much better than tesco jeans)

I do get OP's point that some women (and men! it is not a fem issue) start dressing just for comfort,and then stick with that forever. Dodgy jeans, crocs and a unisex fleece.

I have noticed the same. But it does not bother me at all what other people wear. I notice it, but I don't mind at all IYSWIM. It's up to them.

Why does it bother you OP?

pouffepants · 10/08/2012 07:37

I have never worn makeup, I don't know why not or if it would look good, it has just never entered my world at all. People tell me that they started wearing it as teenagers, but I must have been oblivious.

I have also never changed the way I dress, I wore t-shirt and shorts as a child, and wear them again now, while it's hot. Most of the stuff in shops is completely alien to me, and I can't imagine wearing something that wasn't just for comfort.

So no-one can complain i've let myself go, because I've always looked like this.

ThePigOnTheWall · 10/08/2012 07:38

babyrabbits just made my point for me exactly. People who don't care what they look like "put their children first". Ergo people who enjoy dressing up a bit are selfish. Just not as good mothers. Utterly ridiculous.

Fwiw it takes just as much time to put on bad clothes as good.

I take pictish's points about money but ime it's not all about where you buy the clothes, it's the style and the attitude.

JollyHockeyStick · 10/08/2012 07:39

I don't ever 'make an effort' with my appearance. I never have, there are much more important things I could do with my time.

I'm always clean though, unless DS has covered me in snot or some equally gross substance.

pouffepants · 10/08/2012 07:40

oh, and I've never been to a hairdressers either, again, don't know why not, just always get someone I know to hack off my hair when I get fed up with it. At the moment dh.

fuzzpig · 10/08/2012 07:42

Wasn't a problem for me. I was never vain stylish to begin with. :)

fuzzpig · 10/08/2012 07:46

Pouffe, I do the MN haircut - takes 5 minutes and no money (that being my reason for doing it) and I actually get heaps of compliments. I have done it for 5yo DD and my 14yo DSD too.

worriedwretch · 10/08/2012 07:46

Personally I don't give a flying fanny what OTHER women choose to wear. Who does?

Op YABU and very judgemental.

BBwolefs · 10/08/2012 07:47

The OP os a bridge dweller another tread under the NN went poof regarding fat bridesmaids..
OP seems to be obsessed with how people look. Sad obsession.

fuzzpig · 10/08/2012 07:48

I really don't see the brand of clothing as all that relevant - surely it is the fit that counts most of all? And if you get a perfect fit from Tesco then what's the problem?

Bonsoir · 10/08/2012 07:48

I agree with the OP and it is such a British thing for mothers to let themselves go. Such a pity.

BombasticAghast · 10/08/2012 07:51

OP
You come across as an unpleasant person.
HTH

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