So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

Time and money - I have scarce of for my own personal disposal!

I work full time and I am the breadwinner. I have two toddlers I also take care of on my own - for the entire week mornings/evenings. I take care of both my toddlers as my husband is not at home. I also pay 2x nursery fees by myself - OUCH.

I get 5 mins to myself sat on the train to do my makeup and rebrush my hair. I wear sharp suits, heels to client meetings.

Weekends, both toddlers want to get into my bathroom with mummy or one is trying to get into my makeup box whilst the other is emptying my sock draw. Does anyone have similar toddlers like mine?

It's possible to look good - just not all the time!!

Urgh. There are far, far too many 'lol's on this thread
And how's it become a fucking sermon?
People sometimes change when they have children. For all kinds of reasons. If you thought about it for a couple of minutes OP, you could probably muster a little insight. Being, piss-poor, exhausted and run ragged are probably the main reasons why it sometimes happens.

but its not about making an effort is it op.

its saying that if you buy clothes from a supermarket then you dont make an effort.

so you think you can only make an effort by not buying budget clothes?

OP Frankly, dahling, I had no style at all even pre-sprog ... Luckily all the men in my life have extraordinarily low standards.

You do sound as if you need a hobby though ...

I have enough confidence to decide for myself if I want to wear make up or not.
If I want to wear jeans from tesco I will.
Maybe I am lucky enough to look quite good in cheap jeans and to be able to look fine without make up.

I love to dress up when feel like it. Could be for a party or for a trip round sainsburys.
But it would be my choice.

FFS! Wear make up, don't wear make. Just remember that wearing it is not compulsory, it is a choice, and anyone who judges someone who choses not to is a twat. Fact.

Wordb

Fecking iPad
WORD

I dont like the reaction I get when I dress stylishly and use make up. I get looked at (appreciatively) by men. I dont enjoy that, I find it invasive. I dress for anonymity and like it that way.

Maybe it's an age thing?
20 yars ago I would have looked at my grey roots and despaired.
Now?
Nope.
There's only one question that bothers me really.
"are the children alright?"
If the answers yes everything is hunky dory as far as i am cconcerned, Grey roots, matalan jeans, tesco top, Clarke shoes and no make up withstanding.
I like to think I can see past the make/brand of someone's coat/handbag/jeans to see their real worth as a person and not just as a clothes horse/ advertisement for some designer label.

Hmmm...yes Hmc I can understand that.
The last time I got really dressed up was for a friends wedding reception last year...posh frock, new shoesm hair do, make up, the works and I was latched over all evening by drunk arseholes.
I wishes I had worn my usual joggers/jeans and top with unidentified stain combo I usually wear...Luther at least I feel comfortable and don't have to deal with a shed load of patriarchal bullshit.
Do you think men worry about this shite?
Do you?
Do you think Mean are bothered if another bloke wears jeans from matalan?
No.
I am guessing they have better things to do with their time?.....

Letched, not latched.
That would be weird.
Fecking iPad.....t

Are you kidding???
My TU jeans are the best ive had.
Style and cost are different things op.

Confidence, style and fit are much more important than brand imo

"it's a discussion worth having" - yes, because it's not like we've never had this one before time and time again

not offended anyone? Take your head out of your arse and read the posts - you've managed it quite successfully for several posters.

But that's ok - because, let's face it, for you OP, only your opinion counts.

Yolanda have you not thought of a deedpoll change of name? Surely a name like THAT will ruin your nuptials more than any chubster bridesmaid?

Any who with reference to your latest mind fart... I could if i so chose make time to put on make up, same as i make time to eventually two or so weeks after it starts to look a bit washed out dye my hair, or again when i look apeish pluck my brows. The simple fact is I cant be arsed half the time, im quite naturally gorgeous and confident and even at 19 weeks pg and make up less my DH still wants to shag me so thats fine for me
WRT clothing, I wear what I feel Comfy in and tbh unless someone someone was wearing vibrant magenta and lime green i dont think id give a shiny shit notice.

Hope that answers your question, sorry for giving away the colour scheme For your imaginary culturally troll traditional forthcoming wedding, altho im sure someone so stylish as yourself look at you rockin your reeboks can carry it off.

HTH

OK, I'm admitting I've not read the whole thread but this has wound me up so much I can't not comment.

Why should women who choose not to wear make-up be instantly stigmatised as not making an effort!

I get up, I work-out, I shower and I dress appropriately for whatever I'm doing that day. I buy clothes when I see something that I like and need which ever shop happens to be selling it as long as I can afford it.

I don't wear make-up, I have done in the past, the most uncomfortable year of my life (had to because I was working in a casino at the time). I felt like Coco the Clown for the whole time and absolutely hated it.

It's not my mum's fault, I had a perfectly good childhood with a lovely mum who simply chose not to wear make-up and to be honest if she did influence my decision in this area then my bank balance most heartily thanks her.

Haven't read the entire thread, but did get as far as the OP getting stressed about getting married (oh yeah? THAT is the fun part!!) so I suggest that the OP go and have some kids of her own and then come back and tell us all about her fashion endeavors.

Yolanda has a stressful job in the city and a young family. But she still manages to find the time to look fabulous and look down on those who can't afford to. Boots on the other hand is currently looking for a clean pair of knickers and the jeans she bought from a charity shop as she is a skint SAHM.

Off topic but I know a yolanda irl, she's a knobhead with no mates and tells everyone she has a brilliant job but she actually works at the local sewage works unclogging the pump stations

If you were as well educated and knobby like to think you are, there would be no 'why' after 'hence'.

Your priorities change - DCs welfare and happiness over your looks. You are still you after all.

I think most people have a couple of 'wilderness years' even if they don't realise at the time. I thought I was still looking ok but looking back at pictures I definitely lost it a bit when I was in the thick of no sleep etc but it comes back

as you like

Style has little to do with money. I am lucky to live near some great charity shops, and I have a lot of clothes from before I was broke, and a mother.
As far as I can tell, the women who were never stylish to begin with are the ones who wear the ubiquitous cargo pants and supermarket T-shirt.
I reckon they were just looking for the excuse of parenthood to fully embrace their inner frump.
While I do find awful clothes a bit depressing to look at, it's their business what they look like.
I do agree with the posters who say that in some circles other mothers will make comments to people who have clearly put on make up and thought about their clothes a bit, along the lines of "Oh, you always look so nice! I don't know where you find the time?"
There is often an implied criticism in this, as though a proper mother would simply not have the time.

I agree that it doesn't take long and cargo pants are something anyone with any style would never wear although houlihans are the exception!