Have name-changed for this but am a regular(ish) poster.
I like a glass of wine in the evening after the children have gone to bed. Every single night. Sometimes a glass and a half. Very occasionally a two-glass blowout. They?re only 200ml glasses so we?re not talking about crazy quantities of booze. I?ve been like this since before I met DH, so it?s not as though he should be surprised.
The thing is, he doesn?t like it. He thinks I drink too much. He secretly monitored how much I was drinking and claimed that it was nearly one-and-a-half times the recommended amount for women. I don?t think it?s quite that much but even if it is, it?s my frickin? liver, not his. He went away and Googled about the damaging effects of drinking even slightly more than recommended levels, and has tried to persuade me to read some articles he found. I said no thanks.
It?s driving me nuts. Although he rarely makes a remark about it at the moment, he can?t help letting slip the occasional comment which just makes it clear he?s still watching my every move around the wine bottle. He criticises me for buying cheap non-wonderful wine, but I?m doing this so that I?m not spending stupid amounts on the stuff, much as I?d love a decent Chablis every night. Unless he?s decided It?s A Special Night And We?re Going To Share A Bottle Of Wine, he will never offer to refill my glass if he?s drinking, even if we?ve got people over for dinner. We?ve got completely separate wine because he buys good stuff for himself. (He doesn?t drink very much.)
I just wish we could be relaxed about having a drink ? do things like offering to pour each other a glass if one of us has had a hard day. I wish I could go to the fridge without feeling monitored. It?s got to the stage where I quite like it when he?s out for the evening because I can relax about having a drink. I don?t drink any more than usual when he?s out, but I can enjoy my glass of wine without being judged or monitored. We?re not an especially couply couple if that makes sense (NOBODY would ever accuse us of being joined at the hip) so it really rankles that he tries to control this one thing.