AIBU To be annoyed that a complete stranger picked up my child and tried to play with him!

[Sunny08]

Went to a beautiful wedding on saturday, on sunday we had a celebration bbq. ds didn't attend wedding but did come to bbq next day. Whilst he was playing he wandered over to this group of guys and girls, and one of the girls without warning just scooped him and started spinning him round trying to get him to play. He is only 18mths and shy at the best of times. She made a comment about him being mr grumpy as he was struggling to get away from her and as I was only a few feet behind her I walked up, took him off her and said 'I'm sorry he isn't great with complete strangers especially when they just randomly pick up!' I turned and left as didn't want to cause a scene at our friends celebration. She had been drinking and I was polite but obviously annoyed - I had never before seen or spoken to this girl in my life and it was quite obvious she was trying to use my son as a 'look aren't I good with children' infront of her friends'. Apparently she complained to the bride later that I was really rude to her - AIBU? Personally I thought I was bloomin polite given what i was thinking of saying!!!

I think you came across as rude, if you really said that.

I know it's a novelty BUT some people actually like children and have a gravitas towards them.

Everyone else on her will say you are perfectly reasonable to say who can/cannot pick up your child and have an attack of the snooty bitches PRB Mummy-itis. This is born out by the lady making comment on your manner.

what were you thinking of saying?

I think you were NBU and what you said was perfect!

If you let him wander around at such an event (rightly so) then of course other people will want to play with him. Personally I think its nice that she was trying to be nice to him.

Get a life.

I think yabu, its not like it was randomly in the street, a tad overreaction, no?

I'll be the first snooty bitch

A child is not a toy. A young child may be frightened by being whisked into the air and spun round by a total stranger. People should have more sense than to do that.

If you did it to a dog, it would bite you. If you did it to a cat, it would scratch you. I fail to see why it is reasonable to expect to do it to a child.

YABU. Someone was being nice to your child. It was at a wedding so presumably a friend of a friend. Relax.

I think YAB a bit U.
It was at a friend's wedding so not a complete random person, you have a mutual friend.
He wandered over, you describe her as a "girl" so presumably fairly young and she thought she was being friendly and not aware it was not the "done thing".
I don't make a habit of picking up strangers' children, though do chat/play 'back' when they instigate and have at least twice physically stopped a toddler running into the street.
If someone then suggested I shouldn't chat/play/restrain their child, I would be a bit
Pfb?

Think you overreacted slightly there...

To be honest, I don't think what she did was that big a deal. If she mentioned it to the bride perhaps you weren't as polite as you thought.

You were rude. It was fine to say he's not good with strangers but the rest was rude.

precious much?

Sorry but you do sound a bit snotty by what you've said.

Yanbu, I'd never touch a stranger's child without permission. What a strange woman

I think it's nice that she was trying to interact with him. Not sure I would want some random drunk woman picking him up if she were very drunk but I'm afraid I think you were rude. You could have just said something like 'ah he's a bit shy around strangers' and left it at that.

Don't let your child "wander" about if you're so precious about who interacts with him. She was trying to be nice. A lot of people would tell a wandering child coming up to a group of "guys and girls" to get lost (am assuming they were teens/young adults?)

You were rude!

I think YABU and were a bit rude. I love kids and if a kid came running up to me at an event like a wedding (where it's a very selected group), I'd probably lean down, chat with him/ her and ask where mummy/ daddy is. Picking your child up probably surprised you, but I think you were a bit out of line given she was being friendly to your child. Also, way to teach your kid to fear strangers...

Wow - surprised at this response but maybe you are right.
Just a couple of clarifications - I didn't let my son wander off, I was right behind him. She grabbed him up whilst he was pushing a tractor across the lawn and without introductions (I didn't get a chance), without saying anything to me or even anything to him. He was obviously scared and pushing away from her and began crying. Yes I was annoyed. She was very tipsy.
I am really surprised if other mothers would be happy with this. Maybe I snapped but I wouldn't dare scoop another persons child up without at least talking to their parents first.

I think YABU. Your DC could not have been that shy to wonder up to strangers in the 1st place.

I think you are being precious and you were rude to say that to the frindly lady.

Fair comment, my children were socialised from an early age and were never whiny. They were either taken home if they started winging or weren't taken out in the first place.

Well in your OP you said he 'wandered over to this group of guys and girls'. Now you say he was pushing a tractor across the lawn. You also didn't mention that he was crying in your OP so you seem to be changing your post slightly.

I think she was well intentioned but a bit ott in her interaction attempts.

I can understand why you were snarled but think you could have been a teeny bit less antagonistic.

#snuggledsplinterybuttontofence