AIBU To be annoyed that a complete stranger picked up my child and tried to play with him!

[Sunny08]

Went to a beautiful wedding on saturday, on sunday we had a celebration bbq. ds didn't attend wedding but did come to bbq next day. Whilst he was playing he wandered over to this group of guys and girls, and one of the girls without warning just scooped him and started spinning him round trying to get him to play. He is only 18mths and shy at the best of times. She made a comment about him being mr grumpy as he was struggling to get away from her and as I was only a few feet behind her I walked up, took him off her and said 'I'm sorry he isn't great with complete strangers especially when they just randomly pick up!' I turned and left as didn't want to cause a scene at our friends celebration. She had been drinking and I was polite but obviously annoyed - I had never before seen or spoken to this girl in my life and it was quite obvious she was trying to use my son as a 'look aren't I good with children' infront of her friends'. Apparently she complained to the bride later that I was really rude to her - AIBU? Personally I thought I was bloomin polite given what i was thinking of saying!!!

OP YANBU as far as I can tell you are upset because a drunk stranger picked your child up and swung him round even though he was crying and your first instinct was to protect him. Nope not unreasonable this isn't about thinking your child is precious (and of course he's precious to you that's part of being a mum) its about looking out for your child. If she was drunk how does evryone know she wouldn't have dropped him, or been too rough and hurt him? I think she was rude and you were put into a situation you shouldn't have been put into and had to make a split second decision of how to handle it.

He wasn't crying fyi

I apologise I should have said upset not crying, but then I don't think it makes much difference to the point I was trying to make but there you go

I love this thread. I love how we're all still arguing over it.
I only have one ds who is 17 now.
I remember when he was about 4 and on holiday in the Canaries. We were with his cousin who was about 15 at the time, and she met other teens, who, one day decided to swing him into the pool with each holding his arms and legs.
Except they dropped him mid swing and I can still remember the noise when he cracked his head at the side.
Obviously loads of tears but he still wanted to annoy play with them the next day. He still remembers it, but was not traumatised in the slightest.
I think the teens were more as far as I remember.

If op was that close though as she said and knows her dc didn't like stuff like that, why did she wait til he it upset, and swung round, and the girl tried to chat to him ...

She could Clearly have got her son sooner with a polite 'he doesn't like strangers smile and introduce herself, and her son wouldnt have been upset as much

Kayano, sorry but that's weird rubbish you've posted. What exactly is clear in the posts about her being close enough? The op stopped the woman as soon as she could.

I think some on here just enjoy a good kicking. Give it a rest.

I got a bit arsey with the very stinky old lady in asda who tried to unstrap ds from his trolley seat at 4 days old because she wanted a cuddle

But it'd be different at a friends wedding I think. You have a perfect right to say who is allowed to pick up your child, but if you're going to allow them to wander freely at a wedding at 18mo then expect people to want to interact with them.

If you don't want them to be picked up by "strangers" keep them by your side.

Flooded, don't et that silly mum put you off

Babylon1, that is very strange behaviour!
Do you think the elderly lady maybe had dementia or something?

YANBU. Maybe everyone else who doesn't think it was a big deal had very easy going children, but DS would have found that terrifying. I think it was damned rude. Children need their personal space same as adults.

That AIBU "from the other side" from flooded is gtting ridiculous. Talk about twisting the story! No struggling from the child, no mention of having been drinking...

Lots of other posyers have dragged in their incredibly sociable, and irrelevant, and absent offspring.

Still others have omplained that strangers can't win, what with parents who don't want interaction with their children, and parents who want the world to acknowledge heir offspring (such parents also absent from the OP).

I accept that this means The OP might have also been twisting things, too, but we didn't see that happen, whereas the rest of the rewriting has gone on in front of our eyes.

Pity that Windsock got deleted. I really don't think that was warranted.

The crux of this thread, for me, is the 'I'm sorry he isn't great with complete strangers especially when they just randomly pick up' comment that the OP made to the 'offending' woman.

Whether or not you think strangers ought to handle your kids is another issue. But saying this to someone is just rude. What's wrong with a simple 'I'm sorry he isn't great with strangers.'?

I don't think the comment was that rude!

It was rude - very passive aggressive.

"very passive aggressive".

Haha, good one. And calling the child "Mr Grumpy" and complaining to the bride wasn't?

No, I don't think it was. I think it's much more PA to say something like the OP said.

The woman was probably shocked/embarrassed into not saying anything at the time.

The moral of the story is don't invite anyone with DCs to your wedding if they are going to be overly precious about them.

exotic.

YWBU. And I agree with the 'girl' (how old was she? I mean, was she 14 or 25?) - you were rude to her. It was a party, an enclosed event. The people there are all there for the same reason. It is NOT the same as some stranger picking your child up in a park.

Sorry she gave your toddler a scare, but it hardly sounded like an event that would damage him for life, and he's going to have to encounter strangers elsewhere in life, you know.

I just don't get the whole 'Don't you DARE touch my children!' mentality. Mind you, I'm half Forrin.

maybe he is not good with strangers, because neither are you?
although I can imagine feeling a bit annoyed too.

Still don't think people have actually read Sunny's 5 or 6 comments on this thread. Bizarre responses if you have!
Drunk woman (adult) randomly picks up child without interacting or talking to him first, swings hime round, scares him, calls him grumpy, mum is annoyed...

No 'Don't you dare touch my child' this at all - sunny has said she likes people interacting with DC, just not scaring him.