AIBU To be annoyed that a complete stranger picked up my child and tried to play with him!

[Sunny08]

Went to a beautiful wedding on saturday, on sunday we had a celebration bbq. ds didn't attend wedding but did come to bbq next day. Whilst he was playing he wandered over to this group of guys and girls, and one of the girls without warning just scooped him and started spinning him round trying to get him to play. He is only 18mths and shy at the best of times. She made a comment about him being mr grumpy as he was struggling to get away from her and as I was only a few feet behind her I walked up, took him off her and said 'I'm sorry he isn't great with complete strangers especially when they just randomly pick up!' I turned and left as didn't want to cause a scene at our friends celebration. She had been drinking and I was polite but obviously annoyed - I had never before seen or spoken to this girl in my life and it was quite obvious she was trying to use my son as a 'look aren't I good with children' infront of her friends'. Apparently she complained to the bride later that I was really rude to her - AIBU? Personally I thought I was bloomin polite given what i was thinking of saying!!!

You were rude!!!

I had to pick up someone else's child today after they crawled over and say on my sleeping dd!! If you have a problem don't let him wander over to complete strangers!

See, I know kids are cute, especially toddlers. And I understand people want to interact with them. That's all very sweet and lovely. But seriously, they are actual people. As an adult, if some slightly drunk stranger came up to me and started hugging me I'd feel freaked out. If I tried to push them away and they continued to hug me, I'd feel even more freaked out, and fully entitled to be a bit snotty about it! Why should a toddler be alright with it? Why should the toddler's MUM be alright with it? She didn't tell the woman to get her dirty fucking hands off her child or anything daft like that. She didn't call her a cunt or tip her drink over her. She simply stated that he didn't like strangers and especially didn't like being picked up by them.

GreyGardens, i might if I'd been interacting with the child first. Or, like in Bupcakes example, a dc climbed into my lap.

It's the complete out-of-the-blueness and lack of respect for the dc's personal boundaries that struck me as rude about the example in the OP.

I was away last year and the lovely staff walked our 4 month old around and fussed over her while I had something to eat

I would have said something similar. I don't care if that makes me rude. YANBU.

Hear, hear Hectate.

I wouldn't scoop up a child that I didn't know and who didn't know me, particularly if I didn't know the mum either. Surely you should get an idea of what the child's like first to get an idea of whether or not they'll like it before you just act on your whims? I'm surprised that so many people think you're being unreasonable actually to be upset about this, I don't - although maybe you could have been a bit less antagonistic in your response for the sake of harmony at a friend's wedding, in that way you were being unreasonable.

Op has taken it well btw. Pidjin, thing is you asked would people mind, and I said no, I would genuinely love it. I would take it as a compliment and simply think 'what a nice fun person, and thanks for the break'. No need to over think about personal boundaries I don't think.

How odd to get so annoyed by someone trying to be nice to your child.

Is it the drunkenness that you don't like

if so why did you not go home

As others have said, you let him wander around, its only natural tha other guests are going to take an interest.

It was at a party, perfectly ok for other people to interact with your precious child.

It's a tough one. I get it with my DD a lot especially in restaurants - one waiter picked her up and wondered off and she came back with a balloon and about five packs of sweets. When it first started happening I was a bit uncomfortable with it and still am a bit to be honest but it's what people seem to do. Even if they don't pick her up they ruffle her hair or shake her hand etc - both adults and older kids. If someone was drunk that would bother me though as they might drop her and adults can be a bit scary to kids when they're pissed.

Genuinely, how would all the people who say it's fine feel if someone did this to them. Not their child but to them. Someone much bigger than them. Someone slightly pissed. Would you think, oh well, I came to a place where people are drunk so I should expect to be manhandled a bit, I did wander quite near to those people so they had a right to grab me.

Sorry, but you were very rude and a bit of an arse - a fellow wedding guest played with your son, perhaps a bit too boisterously for his/your taste, but seriously, build a bridge girl...

Look, I didn't like it when my mum's absolutely totally tipsy friend scooped up newborn DS. Aside from the fact she'd drank the bar dry and she'd just had a fag, I was still in PFB mode. I still wasn't rude to her. I just made up an excuse and took him off her with a smile.

She might have been a bit gung-ho in her "niceness" to your child, but she was just trying to be nice. Not harm him. I don't think that you can actually be pissed off with someone for being nice, even if you don't like their method much.

I am not as cute as a toddler, or as light, so I think it wold be unlikely LingDiLong

But I think I would love to be spun around and have my chubby cheeks wobbled by a nice tipsy lady

Even I you were not ok with it no need to be an arse at a wedding

A 'oh he isn't comfortable with strangers' smile and take him back would have been fine

"adults can be a bit scary to kids when they're pissed"

In all fairness, kids shouldn't be pissed.

She probably had younger siblings, my teenage DS is always spinning his nephews about.

Maybe I wasn't clear in original post. I DIDN'T let him wander off on his own, I was following round the lawn whilst he pushed a tractor. She plucked him up with no warning to me or, more importantly, my son, and started spinning him around. He was upset. She was very tipsy.

It was the plucking him up with no warning and the tipsyness I didn't like.

I fully encourage my con to interact with everyone he meets but its on his terms as well as theirs.

Amazed and perplexed by some of the comments. And cannot believe the rudeness of some peoples comments. And do agree maybe i was a tad rude but my goodness surely this is a far leap from me being a snooty bitch who thinks her 'precious son' is god's gift and obviously is a terrible over-protective mother!

LIng - that's a bit of a daft comparison.

When did the girl suddenly become pissed? She was a friendly girl at the start of the thread!

I do think it's a shame that it isn't like it is on the med. With adults being friendly even boistrous(sp) with kids. We all should have fun with kids wether we know them or not. It's abit strangerdanger to be honest.

Bupps! LOL!

BupcakesandCunting :) lol