AIBU To be annoyed that a complete stranger picked up my child and tried to play with him!

[Sunny08]

Went to a beautiful wedding on saturday, on sunday we had a celebration bbq. ds didn't attend wedding but did come to bbq next day. Whilst he was playing he wandered over to this group of guys and girls, and one of the girls without warning just scooped him and started spinning him round trying to get him to play. He is only 18mths and shy at the best of times. She made a comment about him being mr grumpy as he was struggling to get away from her and as I was only a few feet behind her I walked up, took him off her and said 'I'm sorry he isn't great with complete strangers especially when they just randomly pick up!' I turned and left as didn't want to cause a scene at our friends celebration. She had been drinking and I was polite but obviously annoyed - I had never before seen or spoken to this girl in my life and it was quite obvious she was trying to use my son as a 'look aren't I good with children' infront of her friends'. Apparently she complained to the bride later that I was really rude to her - AIBU? Personally I thought I was bloomin polite given what i was thinking of saying!!!

She should have just drop kicked the little devil and carried on quaffing.

I banged mine in a day orphanage at 12 weeks. Its done marvels for his socialisation

Wait until the thread gets to page 9! The girl will have been slurring to OP's DS that he is her besht fwend before trying to pole dance round a tree to Like A Virgin.

You're on top form tonight bups

You were very rude Op, a simple "he doesn't like strangers" would have done.

Don't think I'd be too impressed with a tipsy persons swinging my dc around, have no problems with sober people doing it though.

Um, 'Please ignore the arsey responses...of some people on here'.
No, I have a perfectly legitimate opinion, as do all the other arses on here that agree with me.
So please don't speak for me.
Just because you don't agree doesn't make you right.

Agree with Hecate.

3 of my 4 DCs would not have appreciated being scooped up by a 'tipsy' stranger no matter how well meaning and while happy to wander and chat a bit would have screamed the place down if grabbed by a stranger.

Although I always loved it when strangers interacted in a thoughtful way with my kids I steered clear of the ones who weren't able to tell the difference between a small human and a puppy. Being good with children actually means taking a bit of time to suss them out - always better to be gentle to begin with - some are extroverts, some not.

OP I think you were entirely reasonable - the tipsy girl may think twice next time or even better she may have a sensitive little kid of her own one day and then learn what it really means to be good with kids.

I would have done the same when DS was 18 months old, but then I was totally PFB. I think that is probably the issue with the op too. DS is 3.5 now and it's only now I can see how I was ever so slightly bonkers anxious. We've all been there. for OP.

My girls would have loved it. I wouldn't have. I don't think that you were rude or particularly precious. That's YOUR son being swung around by a complete stranger and if you felt uncomfortable about it then that's the way you felt.

Yeah it does. I'm right - there is a lot of nasty snidey people on here - bit sad really

There is no need to be arsey and snippy to the op though.

Not quite sure how that differs to her being rude to the woman who twirled her ds around.

YABU!
Before I had DC I would've picked up a cute toddler who came towards me. After DC I now know how PFB people can be. In my home country my DC was whisked away from me by several adoring waitresses in restaurants and only returned if she was upset or I was concerned!

Assuming this girl doesn't have children herself (and I'm only assuming), it probably didn't occur to her that her well-intentioned actions would irritate the parent. It's the sort of thing I'd have naively done under similar circs as a youngster - but I certainly wouldn't do it now, as a parent myself.

Probably shooting myself in the foot here but what does PFB mean?

Oh dear, you wouldn't have liked the hotel we stayed in when we went to Egypt! The first night we took the dc to see the entertainment, ds2 (aged 4) was running around the dance floor and he was scooped up by an Egyptian man and was repeatedly tossed into the air

He was passed around the whole group, they were all throwing him, grinning at him and patting his head. He thought it was great and when put down he kept running back to them with his arms up!

If he hadn't liked it though, I would have gone and got him, but I wouldn't have been rude, I'd have just smiled and said he was tired or something. There was no ill intent!

oh i know i know! precious first born!! lol

What happens if you have twins and feel like that?

A man once kissed my (then 3 yo ) sister in the middle of the metro in Paris. Utterly random, he just walked over to us and kissed her, but then she could have given Shirley Temple a run for her money, she really was that cute. We were all so surprised, we just laughed.

I probably would pick up a cute toddler who tottered towards me now. Especially if I'd had a sherry or two. If someone sniffily reproved me I might feel momentarily embarrassed, but would probably drown my sorrows.

It's what I do, and recommend to others if I don't wish to engage with an unattended child (see many MN playground/beach/social event threads)
If you don't want him grabbed by strangers, keep him close.

To those talking about the Med, People interacting with kids, etc. This is all very true but ( massive generalisation) that is because people know how to interact with kids, and I doaubt that anayone would have just picked up a child without first talking to them or patting their head, pulling silly faces, especially if their intention is to start swinging such child around....you don't just jump in, all guns blazing. I therefore agree that the "girl" was well intentioned but a bit clueless as to how to approach someone elses's child.
I am Spanish by the way.

Leave the bastard child picker upper!!

See, this is a perfectly good example of why people have childfree weddings.

So that the bride doesnt have to spend the honeymoon period dealing with ridiculous issues like this.

If a random stranger in the street suddenly swooped down and picked up a toddler, fair enough, but at a party, where another GUEST interracts with your wandering child.. nope, I am really not seeing why you should be rude with them.

People do get a bit tipsy at weddings.. it is a happy celebration, people are meant to be enjoying themselves.

There was a little boy on holiday in Egypt this year, he was also 18 months who ended up in hospital with bronchitis for a couple of nights.
One of the bar staff went to the hospital with the parents to translate, and the sheer joy on their faces when he was back in the pool was so lovely.
They spoilt him rotten and he loved it, as well as all the other Brits in the pool who played with him.
We really need to learn to take the pleasure from small children that they seem to in the Med and other places.
Threads like this make me feel a bit .
Though I'm still waiting for Op's next post where the drunk woman passed out and vomited all over the child