To NOT want my mum to buy dd toys! And to want my rules respected?

[EnterWittyNicknameHere]

I'm so annoyed. My mum took dd out for the day yesterday. When she came to collect her, i specifically asked her not to buy dd anything today (she normally gets her a little toy or a magazine) as i'd felt she'd had enough treats so far this week (i'd taken her to pizza hut the day before, and the cinema the day before that). My mum throws money around constantly and my youngest brother has ended up a spoilt brat because of it - and i don't want my own child ending up that way.

Anyway, my dad dropped dd off yesterday at dinnertime, and she was in tears. She told me it's because granny had bought her a mini dollshouse thing (a brand name one so approx £10-£20) and she wasn't allowed to bring it home, it had to stay in granny's house. Now, obviously the reason she's not allowed to bring it home is because my mum knew i'd be angry she bought her something. She probably didn't think that dd would tell me about the toy. IMO toys like this are for birthdays and Christmases, not a casual weekend thing.

Another reason i'm angry about this is that i've started buying in Christmas presents for dd in the sales. So what would have happened if i'd picked this dollhouse up and was keeping it by til December, then my mum just gave her the same one yesterday willy nilly?

The other thing i'm angry about yesterday is this - i live on a main road. And when my dad dropped her off yesterday, he told me i'd have to have a word with dd about running along main roads. I told him that i don't let her do such a thing, and i'll definitely have a word with her. He then said 'yes you do, i've seen it happen whenever i drop you both off. You let her run ahead to the main door' (We live in a flat). Basically, what he's refering to is letting dd run approx 10feet ahead of me and going up the path to the main door, while i'm getting bags etc out the boot. He feels i should have her hold my hand from the second we get out the car, even when he parks right at the gate!

He got huffy with me when i refused to do this, and when i told him i'd not tell her off for it. It's not as if i let her run riot at main roads, but when we're 10 feet away from the gate, then i let her run ahead.

AAAARRRRRGH! Am i being unreasonable to feel this way, or being silly? It's getting to the stage where i'm thinking of pretending dd's sick next time they ask to have her as i don't trust them not to buy her anything else etc.

I buy my DGS comics all the time. they like them

(Aaack, massive X post)

Nah, we have all plastic toys. I'm not THAT arsey about consumerist shit, honest. I just don't see the need to waste money on it every arseing day we go out/DS goes out with nanny.

Do you feel sorry for my children and grandchildren.

Come on, we haven't had that one yet.

Which comics, Usual? I hope they are ones with educational value (like the Friends and Favourites ones) and not those shite ones such as Milkshake magazine?

I feel sorry for your children and grandchildren and any pets you may have.

BUPCAKE I have your back!
One day people will realise that in parenting terms that we have gone to far in trying to buy our kids affection, instead of giving them a loving full filling home life that has boundaries, routines, obligations, respect etc to make the child feel secure instead of living in frightening chaos.

It's not GP bashing GPs are by and large great but like any other set of people (mums/dads...) some take it too far or behave weirdly.

My mum and MIL are great. They buy stuff but in moderation, they don't compete with me/each other and they respect my and DH's parenting even though its not what they did. Because of that we over look any things they do with dd which we wouldn't.

Op's mum isn't being reasonable so I don't think the op should just put up with it.

Ben 10 or spiderman ones usually although dgs1 had a brief flirtation with all things pink and sparkly, So his were usually Disney princess ones.

Usual It isn't an attack on all GPs. Don't think anyone has a problem with comics, small treats, and occasional bits of tat. So unless you fit the bill of the OPs mother and continually spend huge amounts on unwanted gifts and clothes when your son/daughter has asked you not to, then yanbu

Stay strong sistah! I'll PM you the recipe for my Rainy Day Flapjacks (sugar free of course) You are so right btw

All I had t' play with when I was growing up was an old bit of string never did me any harm.

X post Pineapple

I can see that it is controlling and annoying so I think you are probably not, on balance, BU - but it comes across as if you are in your OP . The uniform thing would have really annoyed me too, even though if you look at it objectively it sounds like a lovely offer.

PIL give our DC sweets, and sometimes money as well, every time they see them - maybe once a month on average (always sweets, occasionally £5, this time £10 as "holiday spending money"). PIL do not have a lot of money, but they really want to do this, and the DC are always appreciative, so I am fine with it even though I would not choose to buy them sweets myself. However, if it were once or more every week and/or the DC came to expect or demand something, then I probably would ask them to back off a bit - but then they are reasonable people and would understand about not wanting the DC to get spoilt/demanding.

You were lucky usual, all I got was a broken bottle to play with :(

I remember when original star wars came out. Light sabres ahoy against over indulgence!

I wanted a girls world, never bloody got one though,all I got from my tight grandma were hideous homemade crimperlene dresses and hand knitted hats.

I remember her fondly not

All I wanted was a Mr. Frosty slushy maker. I never got one. Still resentful about that. I might buy one now, just to spite my mother.

Ahhh girls world....true story - my grandad nicked the head off a mannequin for me because I really wanted a girls world but mum n dad couldn't afford it. I was about 6 and didn't sleep for weeks, id just stare at this head sat on my shelf in my bedroom. Fucking creepy it was

Lol at mannequins head.

that sounds like summat from tales of the Unexpected.

hairylemon - just made me spray coffee over the laptop

YABU and I suspect, have some fairly deep rooted issues with your mother. And are using her generosity as an excuse to 'prove' how bad a grand parent she is.

BTW, in response to the point in your OP, the world would 'not' have ended had you given your DD the same dolls house that her grandma bought yesterday

I think it's really sad that she felt she couldn't allow the little girl to bring her present home - that speaks volumes about your attitude to her.

I craved a cabbage patch kid. Never got one. My grandad bought me a pony though 'spoiled over indulged brat emotion'

I think however badly the OP may or may not have come over on her first couple of posts, the one-up-manship of the Xmas dolls house thing was an awful thing for the OPs mum to have done to her :(