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Please Help me- I am in shock my life has suddenly turned into the Jeremy Kyle show

159 replies

broodyandpoor · 02/08/2012 21:53

Tonight my DP (of 3 years) me 28 him 45 came home to tellme that £460 has been automatically taken out of his monthly wage from the CSA
Today is the irst he has ever know of or heard of the fact he even has achild.
He is apparently 21 now and my DP owes £9000 which without any warning the CSA have taken from his wage. It is as simple as this- he is on a minimum wage and another month of this will leave us homeless Sad
He rang the CSA who said that they tried to contact him in 1998 to no avail.
When he told them that today is the first he knew he even had a child they hung up on him Confused
This cant be right can it Please does anyone know anything about the laws on this where do we turn to?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 02/08/2012 21:55

It could easily be a complete error. The CSA are not exactly reknowned for getting things right all the time.

Or, he could be lying to you...

kinkyfuckery · 02/08/2012 21:56

I imagine to do that there would either have to be DNA evidence of him having fathered a child, or he'd have to be named on a birth certificate, wouldn't he?

rhondajean · 02/08/2012 21:57

I don't know sorry but I do know they make mistakes from time to time. Years back my ex bf's brother got a demand through for money for a child - he panicked and it eventually transpired there was someone else with the same name in the same town.

I'm sorry to be a. It of a cynic though but I do find it hard to believe that your DH hasn't heard about this but they managed to find his bank account without him supplying the details. Call me jaded but I'd have a few questions for him. I also think there is only so much they can take at a time based upon income so they'd have ha to know his income to take money. Hopefully someone else be along soon who can explain for you
Chin up.

HighJumpingHissy · 02/08/2012 21:57

Tell DP to get to the CAB pronto. he needs some serious advice here.

Hope it works out for you, what a shock.

broodyandpoor · 02/08/2012 21:57

No he's definitely not lying, his ex girlfriend (someone he waited in a restaurant with aged 18) 's name was connected with it
Shock
Confused

OP posts:
BonkeySaysTeamGBAreTheMollocks · 02/08/2012 21:58

Get to CAB.

Get dna.

Take it from there!

Ruprekt · 02/08/2012 21:59

Good grief! Can the CSA do that?

No advice but thinking of you.

squeakytoy · 02/08/2012 21:59

Pity he didnt wait to put a condom on.... as Jezza would say!

was he 18 or was she 18 at the time?

phantomnamechanger · 02/08/2012 22:00

my brother found about he was a father when the mother had the child removed for neglect and HAD to divulge who the father was - he was entitled to apply for custody but DNA tests were done first to make sure it was true

The OP can't be true, it could be a genuine mistake - without DNA whats to stop people naming anyone they happen to know, or someone rich, as father of their children?? - MAybe DH has same name as childs father, or an error in an account number somewhere

broodyandpoor · 02/08/2012 22:01

they didnt find his bank account they took it straight out of his wages by using his NI number- his employer got a legal notice to give the CSA the £

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 02/08/2012 22:01

can the CSA automatically take x amount out of someone income without no notice

worryingwillow · 02/08/2012 22:01

If the child is 21 and your dp is 45 he was 24ish when she got pregnant so surely if he worked with her at age 18 and was still with her 6 yrs later they know each other pretty well?

catinboots · 02/08/2012 22:01

The CSA can't do that unless his name is on the birth certificate or if the CSA have carried out a DNA test.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.

broodyandpoor · 02/08/2012 22:02

No because it is his ex from when he was an 18 year old waiter but the weirdest thing is apprenly the child is now 21- theres no evidence that it's his child!!!
The fact that the csa hung up on him was just leaving us feeling powerless

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 02/08/2012 22:03

I am sure there is a maximum amount that they can take out of his wages, and they would first of all have contacted the employer and asked for an address usually. So it is odd that nothing has arrived in the post to warn of this.

AGiraffeOnTheDivingBoard · 02/08/2012 22:03

As I understood it my EX P had to admit to being father before the CSA would process my application - he's on the birth certificate so wasn't too complicated.

I would also agree though that the CSA has made lots of mistakes.

squeakytoy · 02/08/2012 22:04

He was 18, the child is 21, and he is now 45...

that was a fucking long pregnancy!

phantomnamechanger · 02/08/2012 22:05

CSA payments take into account wages and commitements, they dont just take X amount with no warning.

something is not right here
!) simple mistake on part of CSA
2) he's lying about where the moneys gone
3) he's known all along and refused to pay, been in denial & hoping they would never catch up with him, which is hard on you but tough, he should pay in this case

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 02/08/2012 22:06

It doesn't work like this. Someone I know got a letter from the CSA saying some woman was claiming he was the father of her child and they asked him to confirm - he knew nothing about the child, and they sorted out some kind official paternity test. It was his child, and then the CSA started proceedings, but he agreed to pay maintenance in exchange for visitation etc and they sorted it out. The CSA do not just land in someone's life out of the blue, with no proof of paternity, and annexe all their money. Your DP is probably lying to you because of some reason debt, other woman, drink of his own.

Pickles77 · 02/08/2012 22:08

squeaky was thinking along the same linesConfused

geegee888 · 02/08/2012 22:08

I find it difficult to believe he knew nothing of this until now.

squeakytoy · 02/08/2012 22:09

I know the CSA did used to take payment if repeated requests for a breakdown of living costs had been ignored. I always used to advice employees to reply to any correspondence. Ignoring it does not make it go away.

Who gets the post at your house OP? Have you moved recently? How long has he worked for his employer?

Akermanis · 02/08/2012 22:10

Yes the CSA can do that and they need no evidence other than the word of the mother

There is a percentage limit to how much they can take each week / month

Go to the CAB

squeakytoy · 02/08/2012 22:10

Or I would adviSe them too..

AGiraffeOnTheDivingBoard · 02/08/2012 22:10

Exactly ^^

They don't just guess how much over a period of time is owed. They do it based on salary and based on confirmation that paternity has been accepted.