To consider a harrassment order on this psycho lying stalker sl*t

[Choochooboogie]

So this evening my parents received a call from my ex MIL........

XMIL was approached by psycho sl^t (I literally had no idea who she was/her name/nor remembered her loser existence on this planet). Anyway psycho said to XMIL "Choochooboogie was married to your DS? Choochooboogie keeps saying that my father is her father to people in the village". I don't know the exact conversation - but that's basically what was said.

To add to this insanity, psycho slt's fathet sent my DM an email in early 2010 telling my DM to control me, because apparently I had sent psycho slt an email saying that I think psycho sl^t's father is my father.

I can't even remember what the email said exactly because it was so ludicrous and laughable we brushed it off. But my DM eloquently said 'GFY if my DD was going to 'choose' a father it would not be a loser like you, nor would she choose psycho sl^t half-siblings!!'

I come from a very 'normal' family, parents happily married for 30+ years, wonderful loving siblings and neices/nephews. We are v close, and have a lovely relationship as a family. And I adore my father. We all do. Never have I doubted the paternity?!?! It's never even crossed my mind, the words have never been uttered!!

Psycho slt is like her DM as far as I know - a psycho slt (ok I am assuming). But I really don't know anything about them. I have never seen psycho slt's father or even know he is - and I've never cared to wonder. I went to school with the youngest sister. And I think the middle sister was in upper school. But I have never met or even seen psycho slt!!!! Why would I approach psycho sl^t???? Obviously I would email the girl I went to school with?!

I even saw the younger sister with my sister last year in Primark! She never said anything....?! They come from a very troubled family and all I know is that the mother was the 'village bike'. I assume parents are divorced. A family friend told me at least a decade ago that some of the daughters had ran away. I don't know details - never cared to ask.

Anyway, what do I do? I am thinking of getting a harrassment order because I want her to know she will not be messing with me and my family. My parents don't want to be subject to gossip...nor in the hands of someone who could be potentially dangerous. I brushed it off a couple years back.......but psycho sl^t is obviously insane/her DM is spreading jealous lies??

I am surprised that the OP would go to such a pleb place, though.

There are some 'villages' on the outskirts of the city I live in. I think Vicky Pollard has been known to show her Wookey Hole in one of them...

cheesesarnie, I shagged your dad and I'm having octuplets

and I have precisely half the teef I should have

Goofy?

YIKES it's worse than we thought

I've got a wife and children, AF. Children that I would walk over hot coal glass in bare feet for a millionty years for.

This baby will be DNA'd as soon as the cord is cut, AF. If it turns out to be a Kyle baby, Graham will be the godfather. Foxy Bingo will sponsor the christening.

I want to hang out in the plebs side of town being a pyscho^ slut.

I want to be such a slutty slag I get triangles in my name.

Op - I AM YOUR FATHER

at the Dingles/Home Farm theory.

Arf at 'Foxy Bingo'

Goofy has bad teeth. Just sayin'

I think GFY means "Go F**k Yourself" - I'm far too polite to type out the f-word. Even though I'm a pleb.

You went to boarding school yet use words like 'pleb' and call other women sluts. Your education seems to have been wasted on you.

Next time she says something just do a facepalm and say 'am i bovvered', that will shut her up.

By boarding school did you mean BORSTAL?

You told my researchers you did time. What was THAT for?

Op, I don't understand tbh.

Sounds like jeremy Kyle on speed.

Not at mcdonalds!!!!!!!! I was being sarcastic.

Cant read rest

Reading this thread has given me forehead wrinkles.

I'M GOING TO NEED TO LIE DOWN IN A DARK ROOM AFTER THIS

I want the Beefy Security Men with headsets at the do

Then I can shag all them too

"Sounds like jeremy Kyle on speed."

I don't like the suggestion that I've taken ILLEGAL DRUGS and I will take a drug test to prove it on national TV.

It was a remarkably quick dinner unless you very rudely sat texting whilst out.

Such bad manners.

not at macdonalds? fuck no, not a classy bird like you, only KFC for you, cos you're a proper lady, innit!

I feel like I'm wearing a shell suit just from reading this thread.

Ok, OP, I am firmly in the camp of you are definitely making it up. I was 99% there but your McDonalds lie cemented it for me.

Attention-seeking drama queen is what you are.

My legs have turned to corned beef as we type

But ice - the OP comes from a very "normal" and lovely family. And she has been to boarding school. Do they wear shell-suits at boarding school?

Crying at "McDonald's lie"

If you want to be classy: ignore the situation entirely, or make polite corrections.

If you want to escalate it all, and cause as much drama as possible, as I suspect, just say, "you're kidding me! My mum is out of your dad's league".

I think I know which one you will pick.

Makes me wonder if the OP is attributing all this drama to this unknown woman because the OP is not receiving enough attention from her mother or her father.