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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to lock DH out tonight and consider asking him to move out permanently

694 replies

binrel · 30/07/2012 20:42

This afternoon me and the dds and my brother who is visiting because he is on holiday from university were in the garden just playing football. DH came home early from work and he was clearly already in a bad mood and joined in. My brother then started teasing him whilst they were playing football against each other and he started doing these twists and turns with the ball whilst goading him. He then gave the ball to dd, the next time he got the ball DH charged towards him and leapt off the ground before tackling him. DH's feet went into my brothers leg just above the ankle and my brother's ankle bent in a horrible looking way.

My brother's was in agony on the floor and DH got up and shouted there you go you little twat before storming off into the car and away. I had to call an ambulance as my brother was in so much pain, the dds were also very distressed (they adore my brother). He got taken to hospital and he has suffered partial tear to his ankle ligaments. It's going to take 2-3 months for him to recover. I'm so furious with him for what he has done and the way that he charged over to him with such malice and viscousness, it was obviously not an accident. He went without his house keys I feel like locking the door so he can't come in tonight and I'm really questioning our relationship after this. He has deliberately hurt my brother who I love and so do the dds and they were both hysterical after it. Also we can't afford to go on holiday this year I thought having him stay for 10 days would at least give them something to look forward to this summer and he's done this.

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 30/07/2012 21:06

Eh? Brother did nothing to warrant an assault by demonstrating his football skills.

Viviennemary · 30/07/2012 21:06

don't think a football tackle would be considered a police matter. Your DH was goaded. You've said this yourself. He lost his temper and was probably tired from work. He isn't a violent thug as you've said yourself he doesn't normally behave like this. Yes it was wrong. No he shouldn't have done it. Why was your brother goading him.

SDTGisAnOlympicWolefGenius · 30/07/2012 21:06

What of it had been one of your children? Or if they'd run in between your brother and your partner?

There is no excuse for what he did.

littlebluechair · 30/07/2012 21:07

Sorry but twists and turns with the ball does not warrant assault, I would have expected a jokey response but nothing justifies violence.

niujlo · 30/07/2012 21:08

YABU sounds like a bit of alpha male shenagigans that have got out of hand and someone unfortunately has been hurt

Noqontrol · 30/07/2012 21:08

Goading someone does not warrant that kind of behaviour. Where would we all be if it was the norm to lash out just because someone is pissing us off.

McHappyPants2012 · 30/07/2012 21:09

to me is sounds like a tackle, a playful football game that ended badly because both took it too serious

Lucyellensmum99 · 30/07/2012 21:10

I couldnt have my DP in the house if he did this to someone i cared about ( i dont have any siblings). Yes i know how men and their egos are and an over ambitioius tackle is out of order enough, but it would only ever be made ok if my DP was immediately mortified and horrified at hurting your brother. It would make my love for DP just go, im sorry to say.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/07/2012 21:10

Goading does not deserve to punished with that level of injury!

JumpingThroughHoops · 30/07/2012 21:10

And of course everyone has the spare cash to pay an emergency locksmith to come out and change locks.

Noqontrol · 30/07/2012 21:10

And the name calling after mchappy? because if that was the case surely he would hang around and apologise?

gordyslovesheep · 30/07/2012 21:11

YANBU horrid behaviour

JumpingThroughHoops · 30/07/2012 21:11

Curious though, what form did the goading take?

TangoSierra · 30/07/2012 21:12

I would be very cross with dh, but I would not call the police.

If your db wants to that is up to him, your dh has been an arse, and it would be very hard to prove in court that it was an assualt and not a slide tackle during a game of football.

littlebluechair · 30/07/2012 21:12

I think its depressing that some people will excuse violence, followed by no remorse, as 'alpha male shenanigans'.

thebody · 30/07/2012 21:12

I have a 21 and 23 year old and they wind each other up no end but definatly never ever end up doing this or acting this way.

It's disgusting behaviour and I couldn't feel the same about my bloke if he did this, especially to a 19 year old lad.

I can tell you that if he was my lad I would be calling the police myself to report him. What will your family say? Your mom and dad?

Original poster
binrel · 30/07/2012 21:13

What I meant by goading was that my brother had the ball and DH was trying to get it off him but my brother kept twisting and turning and he kept saying things like come on you do better than that another example is he kicked between DH's legs and he shouted Waaay

OP posts:
GnocchiNineDoors · 30/07/2012 21:13

Sounds to me like there is something big on your DHs mind.

Noqontrol · 30/07/2012 21:13

Too true littlebluechair

HecateHarshPants · 30/07/2012 21:13

I read it differently. Didn't seem like an innocent tackle to me. I read it that the husband had basically jumped up, stomped down onto the brother's ankle and then yelled "there you go, you little twat" ('there you go' would indicate to me that the husband intended to cause damage.)

fishybits · 30/07/2012 21:13

Does your brother rely upon the money earnt from the bar work that he now can't do?

thebody · 30/07/2012 21:14

Agree little blue.. My lads never ever do that.

Socknickingpixie · 30/07/2012 21:14

jumping actually she can using the new assult in the home proceedures that are being piloted around the county. she can ask the police to obtain an order keeping him away for a few days whilst she decides what to do

Original poster
binrel · 30/07/2012 21:14

I have no idea how I'm going to explain it to my mum and dad as he's the baby of that generation of the family.

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 30/07/2012 21:15

You tell the truth. It's hard but you can't cover it up.

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