to lock DH out tonight and consider asking him to move out permanently

[binrel]

This afternoon me and the dds and my brother who is visiting because he is on holiday from university were in the garden just playing football. DH came home early from work and he was clearly already in a bad mood and joined in. My brother then started teasing him whilst they were playing football against each other and he started doing these twists and turns with the ball whilst goading him. He then gave the ball to dd, the next time he got the ball DH charged towards him and leapt off the ground before tackling him. DH's feet went into my brothers leg just above the ankle and my brother's ankle bent in a horrible looking way.

My brother's was in agony on the floor and DH got up and shouted there you go you little twat before storming off into the car and away. I had to call an ambulance as my brother was in so much pain, the dds were also very distressed (they adore my brother). He got taken to hospital and he has suffered partial tear to his ankle ligaments. It's going to take 2-3 months for him to recover. I'm so furious with him for what he has done and the way that he charged over to him with such malice and viscousness, it was obviously not an accident. He went without his house keys I feel like locking the door so he can't come in tonight and I'm really questioning our relationship after this. He has deliberately hurt my brother who I love and so do the dds and they were both hysterical after it. Also we can't afford to go on holiday this year I thought having him stay for 10 days would at least give them something to look forward to this summer and he's done this.

Maybe the money could start to come from not paying for wine and takeaways. Maybe the H could give up his one night a month in the pub, or his gym membership, or whatever else he likes doing. Maybe the OP is obliged to cut back anywhere she possibly can too if she decides to stay with her husband, as that means she is taking responsibility too.

Yes I am actually reading what you're writing (patronising much?). Are you taking into account how impossible it would be for the OP's DH to magic the cost our of thin air?

How do you think everyone else managed after torn ligaments? They're not all limping around on crutches still are they? Do you think I snapped my ankle bone in half without damaging my ligamnets?

I think the OP and OP's DH are slacking if they provide anything less than the anti-gravity treadmills that top clubs have for physio. Maybe two, one in the bedroom and one in the living. And builds a pool in the back garden of the brother's house so he can swim for physio.

If brother has additional needs that can't be met by the NHS in a timely fashion then the OP/OP's DH should try and meet those costs, if they are able. Right now, there are a lot of non-medical professionals arguing about the best treatment for a specific injury they don't know the details of (unless OP posted X-Rays and notes and I missed it) which is frankly worse than pointless.

There is a very big difference between having to manage because of an unavoidable accident, and having to manage because someone decided to launch a vicious attack on you.

No, people aren't all limping around on crutches years after ligament injuries. But I know enough people that are still in pain years after ligament injuries that might not still be so bad if they had has intensive (and painful) treatment in the early days.

What if he doesn't have a gym membership? Or go to the pub? I would of thought given the fact they are already struggling, that these type of things would of already been given up.

What if that takeaway was the first they have had this year? No one knows.

All we know is that they are struggling and putting pressure on them to magic money out of thin air to pay for, in my opinion, unnecessary private care (I mean, I wonder how thousands of people every week cope without it) is not right. Yes, if it is possible, then it would be a very good gesture but the fact is they can't.

OP - if you ever return or manage to read through all the posts - I wanted to ask what you think about what your husband has said about work - do you feel ok with that as a reason/explanation? You were obviously pretty angry at the start of the thread, and I just wondered what you're thinking now?

Do your parents know anything yet and have they been in touch with you?

How am I putting pressure on them?

The pressure should already be there. The H has said he is sorry, so if he is any sort of a decent person he will already be feeling under pressure to make sure the DB gets the best treatment available.

Yeah I'd like to know too what op thinks now-can you move on and what happens your relationship with your family..

Hope your ok and your brother too

Any news today about your h's job?

OP, do come back and update us. Hope all is not as bad as you feared and that you are going to be OK.

Hi Binrel, you're in my thoughts. Wishing DB a speedy recovery, hoping things aren't too hard for you at home and with your family.

How's things op?

Any update? Was threat to job real? how are you and your brother?

Any update? Was threat to job real? how are you and your brother?

Any news?

No update? Hope your brother is ok, and you are well op.