to lock DH out tonight and consider asking him to move out permanently

[binrel]

This afternoon me and the dds and my brother who is visiting because he is on holiday from university were in the garden just playing football. DH came home early from work and he was clearly already in a bad mood and joined in. My brother then started teasing him whilst they were playing football against each other and he started doing these twists and turns with the ball whilst goading him. He then gave the ball to dd, the next time he got the ball DH charged towards him and leapt off the ground before tackling him. DH's feet went into my brothers leg just above the ankle and my brother's ankle bent in a horrible looking way.

My brother's was in agony on the floor and DH got up and shouted there you go you little twat before storming off into the car and away. I had to call an ambulance as my brother was in so much pain, the dds were also very distressed (they adore my brother). He got taken to hospital and he has suffered partial tear to his ankle ligaments. It's going to take 2-3 months for him to recover. I'm so furious with him for what he has done and the way that he charged over to him with such malice and viscousness, it was obviously not an accident. He went without his house keys I feel like locking the door so he can't come in tonight and I'm really questioning our relationship after this. He has deliberately hurt my brother who I love and so do the dds and they were both hysterical after it. Also we can't afford to go on holiday this year I thought having him stay for 10 days would at least give them something to look forward to this summer and he's done this.

But he is hardly going to go to DB and say "Yes, I will pay X to you and here are my bank statements so you can check if it will mean we can not pay the mortgage so you can decide whether to accept or not".

It simply isn't as black and white as that. They may only have £10 spare a month which isn't exactly going to pay for private physio now is it. And just because the OP hasn't stated that he isn't prepared to do anything to help, you are just assuming and banging on about it.

Remember, he wouldn't of been able to drive DB back as it was the OP who arranged for DB to be gone before DH got back for fear of DB's girlfriend making matters worse (which I do agree, she should of been allowed to tell him what she thinks but can understand that the OP probably isn't thinking straight and is more than likely to be all over the place right now)

I'm banging on about private treatment because I can't get the image of this poor guy being left alone all day in pain to pee in a jug out of my head. I know what ligament injuries can be like and I think the least he deserves is proper treatment.

How is private treatment going to change that though? It can't speed up recovery from such an injury by waving a magic (and expensive) wand.

To be honest, with ankle injuries, you have to pee in a jug whether you've gone NHS or private!

They usually advise rest at home, so whether it's BUPA or NHS won't make any difference.

Besides, do you really want OP ( made redundant) and her possibly about to be jobless DH go to the wall financially when they have 2 kids to feed? I agree the DH should make up as much as possible to the DB but going private when there's no need is pointless.

Correct treatment can make a ig difference to how the injury heals, and how it settles in the long term.

It's the difference between being able to move your ankle a tiny bit or being able to move your ankle as much as you can move the other one. It's the difference between experiencing very infrequent discomfort a year later or feeling regular pain a year later.

I'm not an expert by any standars, but I know a little bit about sports injuries.

What clam and YouOldSlag said.

I tore my ankle ligaments at the start of the year. I know full well how agonizing it is. DP couldn't stay off work for weeks, and I have no family nearby. With 2 children, one being a baby, I still managed. I explained my situation and they gave me crutches to help me stay mobile. So I don't think DB needs to piss in a jug, they could always ask for stronger pain killers and crutches. The whole pissing in a jug thing has made me roll my eyes a bit.

But outraged- the NHS know this too!

I think that that he should make a significant contribution to both the brothers treatment and his general living costs as he has ensured that the brother is incapacitated for several weeks and his girlfriend will have to work 6 days a week because of his thuggery.

Let's face it, do you honestly think that Man Uniteds star football player is going to get the same treatment as average Joe who has to go into A&E after a Sunday kick about?

Of course not, and there's a reason for that.

When he gets to the point of physio, then maybe private treatment might be speedier or better. Depends. But at this point?

And you don't necessarily know that private physio will make a load of difference. Some physiologists in the NHS are bloody damn well good. And that is coming from one who has had physio pretty much constant since I turned 12, private and NHS.

I've torn my ankle ligaments and it is very painful and for the first few days I had to be helped to and from the toilet even though I had crutches so if he hasn't got anyone to help him then he will have to pee in a jug. I know it sounds horribly degrading however it will only be for a few days so I wouldn't worry about that.
More serious is that the recovery time can range between 6 weeks and 6 months depending on the severity of the tear and this will impact on him, he already can't work and it may affect his studies at university. He really should do something to rectify the situation where the girlfriend has to work 6 days a week though as that really isn't on and could cause longstanding resentment.

Treatment can be started instantly.

I'm not saying private phyios are better than NHs physios, of course not. But if you have had physio then you will know that for it to be its most effective it needs to be done on a very regular basis. More than daily in some cases.

I know that regular physio will make a difference, and I know that NHS physio for sports injuries simply cannot be offered at a level that will ensure the best possible outcome. Maybe there are NHS trusts in the country that will offer daily physio for sports injuries, but I very much doubt it.

And to get the sort of physio footballers get, you would probably need to pay stupid amounts of money. I would expect a miracle paying out that sort of money too.

All the people suggesting that the OP and her husband pay for private physio need to answer this, if the the DH is fired tomorrow where are they going to get the money to pay for this as both the OP and her husband will be unemployed and I don't get the impression that they have large amounts of savings to fall back on (although I don't actually know).

The DH has been a twat of the highest orer but I don't see how financially crippling their family helps the situation.

*Let's face it, do you honestly think that Man Uniteds star football player is going to get the same treatment as average Joe who has to go into A&E after a Sunday kick about?

Of course not, and there's a reason for that.*

Yes they need treatment immediately and haven't got time to go and wait in A and E. You're making out the NHS have no expertise and you can only get that by going private. Anyway, the DB has already been treated so this is a bit "after the horse has bolted".

My badly broken ankle was treated beautifully by the NHS. As was my mother's and my son's fracture. they're not some amateur cowboy outfit you know!

Poor binrel's problems will get a hell of lot worse if she and DH are saddled with an extra private healthcare bill when there's just no need.

Well tbh, if I was in the brothers GFs position I wouldnt really think it was my problem to worry about where the money was coming from to pay for the treatment needed. The husband should have thought about that when he decided to attack someone.

Obviously the OP and her children don't deserve to suffer financially, but the brother and his GF deserve it even less. No one wants to see the family financially crippled, but then do we want to see the brother and his GF suffering more than neccesary either?

If we are deciding who takes financial priority, then it has to be the injured party that comes first.

I'm not saying that the NHS don't have the expertise, I'm saying they don't have the resources. The DB has had the initial treatment, he hasn't yet had the treatment that he needs in the upcoming weeks or months.

Broken and fractured bones are very very different to torn ligaments and require a completely different treatment plan.

No, it has to be the children who come first in my eyes.

I did a quick google on what money a football physio gets. Who the hell has a spare £3000 a week unless you're a footballer?

Ridiculous.

Oh FGS- the NHS doesn't make people suffer unnecessarily! It's a bona fide medical treatment service made up of highly qualified professionals!

I'm getting really pissed off at your attitude that the only valid care is private care. It's bollocks.

The OP needs support, not some poster insisting anything less than BUPA causes unnecessary suffering.

I can see that the DH may have to make up a shortfall in income, but there is no need to add a BUPA bill on top of that. THERE'S JUST NO NEED.

He should certainly be shelling out for the best physio treatment available to the brother and I can't believe people disagree with this. He has caused significant damage to his BiL ankle and he should now take steps to rectify the damage and assuming he isn't a physio himself then this means paying for one. I suspect the GF will be going apeshit about this whole thing as she looks at the prospect at having to care for her severely injured boyfriend alongside working more hours to financially provide for them both.

I'm not saying they should let the children starve to pay for treatment FFS!

Excellent physio is free on the NHS. It's not cutting corner, it's bloody fantastic and free of charge. The NHS also supplies painkillers, x rays, dressing, crutches and any other help as and when it is needed.

I would still be limping without them after my bone snapped in two. No bill- it was free.

I'm not saying they should let the children starve to pay for treatment FFS!

then where will the money come from?

Op is redundant and does not work.
DH is highly likely to lose his job and get sacked.

Where will the money come from? Their future JSA?

Are you actually reading what I'm writing YOS?

The NHS simply doesn't have the resources to be able to provide the best possible treatment for a ligament injury. They do when it comes to heart surgery, transplants, even physio after a spinal injury or an amputation, and a whole host of other things, but not sports injuries. They have the expertise, not the resources. They have to prioritise.

Why don't you go and ask one of these highly qualified NHS professionals if they can provide the best possible treatment for a ligament injury with the limitations the NHS puts on them?