To be worried about DS after he had unprotected sex

[lavenderfields]

I am worried about DS. He went to a party and had unprotected sex with a girl. He came back and told us in his drunken state.

He knows all about condoms but said he didn't have one and wanted to get his first time over with. He says she wasn't a virgin and neither of them had any protection

He says she is on the pill but is worried she could have got pregnant or given him an sti. I rung sti clinic and they said wait 7 days before coming to be checked.

He now wants to text her to ask her if she remembered to take her pill but doesn't know how to phrase it. Any suggestions? I told him not to text as it will be rude but he is insisting.

Getting over the fact he was so bloody stupid, any helpful suggestions on what he could say? Will also put this in teenagers!

What Morloth said ^^

Doesn't anyone else remember being 18? That thought of , it won't happen to me?

Ok I'm aware she is a bit stupid but that doesn't mean the men arnt knobs!
I've only slept with df and we do use condoms! but out of alll my friends they have all had 99% of the men they've slept not use a condom or try not to use a condom.

I was 18 not that long ago and though it definately would happen to me! I was TERRIFIED of falling pregnant. So I went on the pill and we used condoms.

krum, your friend and those men are equally stupid, sorry

Bloody hell krum! That's worrying isn't it? I wonder if that's because the threat of aids seems to have diminished( not sure it has) or some kids just think they can get antibiotics for an infection or morning after pill if needed.

Bit depressing.

Yeah I know she is lol. But I think there is a hell of a lot of pressure on women to man please. Insisting on a condom isn't 'sexy' if it's not what the man wants.

Think he should speak to her directly, apologise for not having/using a condom and ask if she's gone for the morning after pill or if she'd like him to come with her

Apologise why?

He wasn't the only one who didn't have one was he?

Because if she were pregnant then it would be a hell of a lot more difficult for her than him.
They were both drunk. He feels he should have worn a condom. He's apologising for not.

fuck the pressure

protect your future fertility

I don't think I would make a very "dater" by "today's" standards (thank the Lord)

krum...how old are you and your friend ?

(I have a feeling she should know better, and you may need to choose your friends more wisely, sorry again)

very good dater

You really think he was still a virgin? Hmm

Why not? There are a lot of virgins under 21 still around.
If he had more experience, he probably wouldn't have felt to bothered about what he'd done. First time can be a big deal for some people.

It's not just her but we are all 22/23. I think it's awful the way I see men treat my friends. I have never had unprotected sex. I do not know a single other person that hasn't.
I think the Femdom should be advertised more!

Krumbum. She has on several occasions asked different men what would happen if she became pregnant
Why? She is either very dim, or has an agenda of her own. Why would you keep on doing this? What answer is she actually looking for?

I am very sad to read what you say, krum (but not very surprised)

the increasing normalisation of porn has a lot to answer for here, I think (another unpopular opinion of mine)

Shes only asked them when they have been having unprotected sex with her. Its fairly likely to happen so its not insane to ask what they would think.

Completely agree Gf.

Yes, I agree it's fairly likely to happen. So why isn't she protecting herself against it?

Krumbum, your friend may be doing other, future partners a favour.
If these dimwits are shocked and angry because it hadn't occurred to them that pregnancy might be a consequence, then maybe they will buy some condoms for next time.

He should get tested in a few weeks. "I've only had a couple of sexual partners (whose previous partners are completely unknown to me) so I don't need to get tested/wear a condom" is a great big factor in the rise in chlamydia, bleddy Syphilis, et cetera. If he's a decent person, he doesn't want to incubate them and pass them on to anyone.

Secondly, I completely agree with Birdsgottafly on the previous page. I've witnessed that phenomenon for myself.

Thirdly, he needs to have condoms with him.

Fourthly, not in a wallet. A condom knocking around an eighteen-year-old's wallet, rubbing against the sides (and his petty cash) for months is more likely to tear when he does use it. I can't remember the best way to carry them but it's not a wallet. You can probably google it.

no, I think krum's mate is doing future partners a disfavour

she is risking their sexual health, by playing Russian Roulette with her own

I was meaning the other women these men will sleep with in the future. I agree that she's engaging in very high-risk behaviour.

I don't think he should apologise for not using a condom. She didn't have one either and she could have declined when he said he didn't.

Regarding believing he was a virgin, my DDs Dad was 25 when I got pregnant. His Mum quite clearly thought he was still a virgin. She got a bit of a shock when he sat er down to explain he had met someone (me) and would be expecting a baby in 4 months.

yes, she is contributing to wrecking the sexual health of her male partner's future female partner's sexual health too

I think this convoluted point kinda illustrates what I'm saying

Krumbum ask your friend if she wants the option of having a baby in ten or twenty years' time. Tell her that Chlamydia is an STI that can cause infertility.

Hell, she could end up with a baby now, a plonker ex who doesn't pay maintenance, and be infertile when she finally meets a nice guy and wants a sibling for her first child.