To think there's nothing wrong with having a toyboy?

[SenseUL]

Name changed for this, just in case.

I'm 33, 2 DDs (7 and 3), single, and recently had a 19 year old in my bed.

Already heard I'm being talked about unfavourabley by friends, peers etc who have found out (although I haven't broadcasted it to the world!)

AIBU?

Was he good?

Me and my mum had a rule that she would not date a guy closer in age to me than her. She was 21 when she had me so it was 10 years older for me 10 years younger for her.

Your toyboy is closer in age to your DD1 so i think YABU.

Yes he was

Well, my friend was 14 years older than her BF, they have been together 25 years now - YANBU I personally prefer older men so it wouldn't be for me. But go for it

I dont think it matters at all.

Certainly if the sexes were reversed no-one would bat an eyelid.

When I was in my early 20s I dated a man 20 years older than me. His daughter was in her late teens, so not much younger than me.

The only reason eyebrows were raised was because he was my boss (& in the circs it was slightly inappropriate) not due to the age difference.

So long as you realise he wont view you as long term

It's just sex really.

He comes round on an evening, maybes has bit to eat and stuff, then when the kids are in bed we get down to it usually.

So long as you realise he wont view you as long term

thats true for most single men, probably more so of those in their 30s and 40s. Certainly on dating sites there are very few men, despite their protestations to the contrary, who are looking for anything other than one-off casual encounters. Age has sod all to do with it!

Op has already said is 'just sex really'

So long as no one is stringing anyone along

Dh is twelve years younger than me. Been together 20 years.

Would I be happy for my 19 year old to be in a relationship with a 33 year old?
Especially one who already had children?
I think I'd be concerned and unenthusiastic, and wonder why you didn't want a relationship with someone with more life experience. I'd wait for it to go wrong and consider how to pick up the pieces.

When i was happily single in my 30's, i had lots of sex with fit as fuck men in their 20's.

I am now in a relationship, again, i don't regret it and never will.

Enjoy.

Oh, and I have a boy and a girl, and I'd feel the same whichever one it was.

I don't have a problem with your lover being younger than you, but i would be judging my little pants off at the thoguht of him coming around (whatever age) spending time with your children and then when you pack them off to bed, getting down to it - You need to keep it separate if you ask me. If hes a fuck buddy, why does he need to be around your kids?

I'd just be glad to have a lover

I know we're talking about toyboys here but Hugh Jackman's wife is 13 years older than him

The woman down the road used to do this. Hook in a load of 15/16yo's, let them drink smoke etc, had two little ones n'all. She'd pick them off and get them into her bed as soon as they were 'legal'. She was 38. Skank.

And I'd be treble checking that they were using contraception properly and barrier methods to prevent STDs.

Would it make any difference here if it was a 33 year old man posting about his 19 year old babe as fuckbuddy?

Yee-haw! you go girl! If it's working for all of you, I say go for it. My Dh is younger, and he's a dream.

YANBU.

So long as it's all between two consenting adults, I think anything from fuck buddy through to marriage is all well and good.

It's no one else's business what ages you are, you can decide for yourselves.

I think a bit like LEM99 a lot of people's main issue is that he also has spent some (not a lot) of time around my kids.

I don't understand it

And that he is the son of a the mother of a child in my daughters class ...

Do what you like and deal with the disapproval. You may not have talked about it, but presumably his mother knows, and all his mates.

Correct equation is:
Half your age + 7= acceptable
Anything lower than that = creepy