to not ask my DD to quieten down

[humptyhump]

This has happened on a few occasions now.
My DD can be quite noisy when we are at soft play/activity centre, she is very vocal in her playing, squeals and screeches when she's excited etc
However my friend who I usually attend the places with (with her DS) always makes comments on how loud she is, sometimes she says it in a jokey way 'oh your so loud haha' and other times she makes comments on how she's got a headache
AIBU to not tell my DD, we are at play centres surely this is the place where she should be allowed to let off some steam and have fun without a bossy adult commenting about it
Her DS is just under a year younger and isn't talking much so not much noise from him

Why is it apparently such a difficult concept for some to understand that people are not objecting to children laughing,giggling and having fun,but only to screeching? There is a happy middle between screaming and silence. It's not one extreme or the other.

YANBU, softplay is often full of kids shouting and occasionally screaming, that's the nature of those places. Maybe a bit of gentle encouragement to keep the screeching to a minimum would be a good idea but I don't think anyone would expect to go to a softplay and all the other children be playing quietly, that's not going to happen, kids are noisy especially when excited.

From the OP, it sounded like this one particular friend who had issues with the loudness (or not) of the child. OP, TBH I'd ask another friend or family member who can give you an honest opinion if your child's screeching is OTT or just the kind of exhuberance you would expect of a normal little girl at a soft play.

"None of the other children or parents complain though and my DD always plays with other children so they're obviously not bothered"

No, they're inwardly thinking "please stop your child from screeching before my eardrums perforate" Don'ttake lack of protest as acceptance. Some people are too shy/polite to say anything.

The OP states quite clearly that her daughter is only very noisy in the play place, so obviously she knows to tone it down everywhere else. I hardly think loud play in a play place designed for children to let loose indicates that she will be a very loud teenager.

"They're not hurting anyone. If people don't like it, they can avoid play places."

Actually high pitch squeals do hurt the ears of people with sensitive ears, others have already mentioned that children with ASD or other sensory problems also struggle with the sounds. Should they keep away from anywhere with other children incase parents don't want to upset their precious little darling by asking them not to squeal?

Children often make loud noises when they are overexcited. I expect that. Just as I expect parents to be somewhat tolerant of that. Obviously in some instances, that's expecting too much. What a shame.

I'm sorry to jump on the bandwagon but squealing and screeching by young girls is a very irritating noise for me too. If you were my friend I might start to find I had other important things to do on your usual softplay day.

Yes, boys can be noisy but it tends not to be the kind of noise that sets peoples' teeth on edge.

"There is a difference between the noise of children playing and screeching and squealing."

What is the difference? I'd like to know.

As far as I can see screeching and squealing are some of the noises children make while playing.

So it's bollocks to pretend you are OK with the noise of playing but not screeching.

What you are OK with is some of the noises of playing, but not others.

Soft play is full of children squealing and screeching, because there are loads of them and they're very excited.

Sirzy - DS2 makes squeals and shrieks in the soft place place. He has SNs, and loud noises (that he isn't making) upset him as well. We bring his ear defenders along when we go to soft play, so that they are available to him if he needs them. If he was too upset by noise that other children are making, we would find something else to do somewhere else.

I wouldn't ask the other children not to make noise. It's a child's play place. That's part of the attraction for the children is to be able to run around and make some noise. God, what a bunch of stick-in-the-muds!

rainy 6 months is too young to try and limit volume control. Just try to soothe in a calm, low tone. Babies are different.

A screechy 3yr old is a screechy 3yr old

I can't see her limiting her screeching to soft play only

That's probably why the OP's friend has mentioned it.

Yeah, fucking girls - so screechy and unbearable.

Not to mention bitchy and sly

God I expect it at soft play how miserable are you lot?

If one child is noticeably much noisier than every other child, then it is going to get commented on.

Got your "all-seeing" crystal ball out or something, Worra?

Good grief.

"A screechy 3yr old is a screechy 3yr old

I can't see her limiting her screeching to soft play only"

Wow, you seem to know a great deal about a child you have never met or heard.

Are you magic?

AThing - not sure if you're being serious, are you saying that you can't hear the difference between screeching/sqealing and the general hum of children playing with laughing and calling out?

They're totally different and I think most of the replies demonstrate that, why is it bitchy to say so?

Oi - don't be letting babies off the hook, the noisy bastards!

There's just no need for it!

What about people who hate hearing other humans?

And fucking girl babies are the worst!

We should kill them all the squeaky bitchez.

Cassette I really don't understand how you can't understand that it is a child's play place that is supposed to allow them to be loud and play. Some children get louder when they get excited. It happens. I don't mind if other children get loud and shrieky there. If it bothers DS2, we go somewhere else (if the ear defenders aren't helping).

I really don't understand how you can't understand that these places are always pretty noisy, and if you don't like it or can't tolerate it, then you just don't go.

Again, hardly rocket science.

"are you saying that you can't hear the difference between screeching/sqealing and the general hum of children playing with laughing and calling out?"

I'm saying that there is no such clear distinction.

Children playing can make all sorts of noise from none to loads.

Pretending there is a single sound that equals "the noise of children playing" is quite weird.

If you don't like squealy noises, then fine. But why pretend it is anything other than a noise made by playing children?

"I don't mind if other children get loud and shrieky there."

I think you are in the minority there, judging from all the responses here. I don't mind children yelling and playing loudly. I do mind the screeching and shrieking. Perhaps my hearing is more sensitive than yours, but I find that high pitched shrieking goes right through me and gives me a headache.