to not ask my DD to quieten down

[humptyhump]

This has happened on a few occasions now.
My DD can be quite noisy when we are at soft play/activity centre, she is very vocal in her playing, squeals and screeches when she's excited etc
However my friend who I usually attend the places with (with her DS) always makes comments on how loud she is, sometimes she says it in a jokey way 'oh your so loud haha' and other times she makes comments on how she's got a headache
AIBU to not tell my DD, we are at play centres surely this is the place where she should be allowed to let off some steam and have fun without a bossy adult commenting about it
Her DS is just under a year younger and isn't talking much so not much noise from him

Perhaps. Perhaps not. If noisy places bother you, perhaps you shouldn't go there.

That's interesting Noqontrol

Triggles have your friends said something similar to you? Don't you realise you are in the minority here, and as such, you may be wrong?

Nope. And just because I'm in the minority doesn't mean I'm wrong.

Or, seeing as you are in the minority here, triggles perhaps you shouldn't go there. Stay home and teach dc some manners instead

Yes, of course, Noqontrol. When you learn some. FFS!

My children do have manners. Not that you'd know this, as you don't know them.

YABU. I have a screecher, and I'm usually the first to tell her to shut up.

Triggles and others who don't mind screeching (and this is a genuine question) is it that you can hear it and it doesn't bother you or that you just hear "noise" and don't know what screeching is?

It's hard to write that without it sounding patronising but what I'd like to know is whether maybe you don't differentiate the sounds.

Do fingernails on a blackboard bother you for example?

It's so subjective. Maybe your friend is a catsbum and your DD makes usual excited noises. Maybe she is a squealer who you need to encourage to be quieter.

Either way, there is just no need for the level of vitriol from some on this thread - melindaaa harsh much?

None of us would like our DC's behaviour criticised by a friend, whether warranted or not. We have no way of knowing if it was. And I doubt OP will be back.

This is a question of social acceptability, and as the majority in this thread is saying it's socially unacceptable, it does mean you are wrong

You're right. It is hard to write that without sounding patronising. Might I point out that you didn't succeed in that attempt?

Perhaps we're just not intolerant of children.

Yes, fingernails on a blackboard bothers me. Children playing loudly doesn't. Entirely different.

And I'm not going to stay away from soft play because DS2 sometimes makes a bit of noise. It's one of the few places he can play safely due to his SNs. And if that bothers some that are intolerant, that's simply not my problem. I've heard other children (and adults) making far worse noise in other places where it's not appropriate, so I'm not going to lose any sleep over it whatsoever.

Well I just wish all these noisy screechy children could be rounded up. Call the child catcher. Think it was the queen in chittychitty who hated children's noise.

Better still turn all soft play areas into quiet reading zones.

That will teach them.

I let them get on with it at soft play and the like, aren't they just blowing off steam? Fair enough, they need to learn that screeching and squealing (and whining etc) aren't appropriate in most places but I don't think soft play is one of those places.

Really quite surprised by the negative reaction on this thread tbh.

bangs head against wall Big difference between children running about shouting, having fun and them screaming their heads off at a pitch so high it makes peoples ears hurt shakes head, again

Nope Scaredy. It really doesn't mean that. This isn't a question of social acceptability at all. It just shows that lots of people are intolerant of children making noises. You're all going to be the old biddies on the block that whinge that children playing outside are making too much noise as well. Bunch of no-fun intolerant people.

I don't know.. Is it normal for children to shriek? I have two children, my 3 year old is deaf and doesn't squeal or shriek. My 9 month old does but I thought that was just what they did? I'm still not used to having a hearing child.

If an adult sees fit to respond with "Yup. Whatever" to someone who's described quite reasonably why they consider prolonged screeching unacceptabe, I suppose it's hardly surprising if they find good manners and consideration of others tiresome.

ah... so they can shout, but not scream...and not at a certain pitch. Shall we line them all up and get rid of those that have a certain pitch voice?

Yeesh. What ridiculous nonsense.

Ah, ilovesooty assumptions again. I only find those that are overly judgey and intolerant tiresome.

Marquesas, fin holders okay areas are loud, some children screech,, that's the environment to do so.

Obviously in other places it's unacceptable.

If kids can't screech and squeak in soft play or the park just how sad...

Maybe the quiet kids are bust pushing and shoving, but getting away with it

lol thebody that's it, isn't it? The noisy kids are reacting to their quiet little angels pushing and shoving everyone around. And the mums are over in the corner too busy whinging about the noisy kids to watch what their own little angels are up to.

I don't think it's really an assumption. Surely you can debate a point without being rude?

'Shall we line them all up and get rid of those that have a certain pitch voice?'

Brilliant suggestion! At last I agree with you

OK, think I'm going to go against the grain here. I am imagining a 3yo with a happy high pitched giggle here not a child standing there and screaming at the top of her lungs?

I I am right then YANBU. Loud, high pitched noises go get on my nerves but I would rather a high pitched, happy, giggly child than the quiet, seemingly not there child who goes around elbowing and bullying others on the sly.

X posts with thebody