regarding facebook pics

[pokeypants]

I will confess to being a bit wary of putting too much on sites like facebook especialy when it comes to my children, there are so many sicko's about and some people just don't seem to realise the dangers. But I have tried not to become over cautious and reasoned that a few snaps of the kids on there is fine as both me and my partner are sensible and only have actual friends or family viewing our profiles.... I am however rather annoyed to find my niece has been taking my pictures of our little girl and adding them to her own profile....which i know seems harmless but she is a typical teenager and has upwards of a thousand so called friends on her list most of whom I'm guessing she doesn't actually have a clue who they are so we our little girls pics are practicaly public viewing!! Am i over reacting? I have simply asked that she not do it with our pictures, but maybe we should not put anything on there in future ourselves incase. what do other mumsnetters think to this?

www.itv.com/.../man-jailed-for-grooming-1-000-girls-from-milton-k...

www.chroniclelive.co.uk/.../newcastle-pervert-groomed-girl-15-on-f...
menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/p/1582399

I'm now feeling a bit guilty because I did repost pics of my brand new niece and nephew without asking permission and I think I would have a problem with someone doing that with any of my own pics . I deliberately set up a "fake" account on fb for people that I don't "really" know and no personal details are on that profile. My "real" profile is very private and if I thought that anyone would take pics off that one and repost them I would remove that individual from my contacts list.

In short, we DON'T know what's going to happen to what we have previously posted on FB (even if it gets deleted), but whatever does, we are unable to un-do it at a later date if we don't like how this all pans out in the future!

www.bordertelegraph.com/.../429409-police-issue-warning-to-parent...

Why posters are unaware of this, i don't know.

I agree with Tee btw that privacy as we know it is vanishing.

We are entering an age where our entire lives will be documented on-line. I embrace that.

I don't pretend that there are no paedophiles, I just don't think the risk is a high as some people think. I would be concerned about how DS uses his own on-line space as he gets older, but not by me putting pictures of him as a baby on FB. Any "grooming" risk would liekly be through his facebook etc, not mine.

I also agree that "people" might get hold of DSs pictures, be they future school bullies or paedophiles. I accept the risk on both counts exists, but I think the risk is small and I do not wish to change how I live on this basis.

If other people feel differently thats up to them. I am not putting pictures of their children on facebook. Only my own. I think the paranoia some posters display is more frightening that anything else.

the link to the article about the 17 year old girl killed by someone she met over facebook is very sad :(

I do think that facebook along with other things in our lives can be dangerous along with things such as roads/alcohol/open water. I think it is our job to teach our kids about the risks, clearly going to meet someone you met on facebook is a risk. I really don't think that any pictures of her as a small child would have helped him kill her.

Indeed, Catgirl, we're all naked under our clothes, that is an indisputable fact. As logical arguments go, however, it falls considerably short.

I don't think we actually know how the information will be used in the future, that's the worrying thing.

BUT, it is personal, complete information about you as an individual.

The Data Protection Act is there to protect your personal information from being passed on / used for reasons other than it was originally given for. FB will carry data on - individuals, personal information, DOBs, marital status, the type of house they live in, where / when they work, relationships / family, consumption habits, clubs / societies / interests.

If any company you currently dealt with asked for that information, say a credit card said, hold on we need all this information. Most people would tell them where to go. FB are sitting on this information. Their business value, of billions, is purely because of this mine of information about individuals they hold. Who knows who / what organisations they will sell it onto.

DS is brought up not to be ashamed of his body ergo DS is less likely to be made to feel ashamed of his body

It's a fairly logical point flogging

A friend who had high security settings recently got dragged over the coals for a post on her very private profile which one of her close friends (ex now I presume) copied and pasted into an email to her work!

I've also seen a woman (defriended because of this) copy and paste stuff from her ex's private profile into a public facebook group for all to see

then there's face recognition.. and whatever gets invented next to tie up all our info that we've scattered on the net

Catgirl Lol!

Okay, I conceded that your DCs school friends may well not be able to see the photos.

But reading the other posts, does it not give you anything to think about at all?

As for the "the naked body is nothing to be ashamed of" etc. That old ridiculous chesnut. I love my naked body. But I don't want pictures of it on the internet!

And that's the rub. People have no BOUNDARIES anymore.

Not logical to me. I'm not ashamed of my body, yet I'm fairly circumspect as to who gets the pleasure of a full frontal.
Certainly not about to post any photos on Facebook, why should children be any different? It's not about shame, it's about choice and who gets to actually make that choice.

PostBellumBugsy I'm not clever, and it's not so much that companies can make an obvious profit out of you (eg. if you're a model and they can sell your image), it's more how the info on you can be used. It's not just companies, it's Governments, organizations, future employers (who obviously can check out the 'real you' online), journalists (eg. something very tragic or newsworthy happens to a family or friend of yours and you get dragged into the story by the press)

Off the top of my head:

• insurance companies can investigate your life, background, history and decide whether to insure you. Just one example could be if the NHS keeps crumbling the way it is and we're all dependent on health insurance in the future!

• people wanting to work out what your private passwords are (banking, etc). Often we're not as cryptic as we think and a good study of your Facebook profile could through up a few clues as to what sort of passwords you use online.

• Facebook's already existing facial recognition technology can be sold to advertisers, for tailored advertising, Minority-Report style, which is already present on Facebook.

• We're lucky to live in a democracy at the moment, and hopefully the UK will remain so in the future. But Governments in other countries - Russia for example - no doubt already use Facebook to identify potential dissidents or protesters. Following the 2011 summer riots, do you think our Government wouldn't be tempted by the chance to do the same, and perhaps intervene before a crime had even been committed?

I really must go and do some work now, but I'm sure others will be along with many more... don't be limited by your imagination in this! I have a Facebook account, it's not bad. But it's something to be used wisely, not naively. A bit of well-placed cynicism about how safe our online profile actually is, and that it's not a lead safe in your family vault (i.e. fairly unlikely that anyone can get into it) is no bad thing.

"I do get that other people can put them there, but in this situation if OP had not put photos on the web there would be no issue" umm OR, if the OP didn't have a facebook account she just wouldn't KNOW about the issue OP could have a facebook account shock horror without photos of her children on it

Rumple - honestly, the other posts don't change how I feel about posting photos of DS.

As he gets older, I will monitor how he uses the internet, who he is talking to, what information he divulges etc but I do not feel I am putting him in any danger by posting his photos on-line.

I think the chances of them being used to bully him in the future are slim.

I think the chances of them being used to abduct him are very slim indeed.

I think the chances of them being used for gratification by a paedophile are slim and also take the view that no matter how unpleasant, it wouldn't actually harm DS.

I think the chances of him wanting his own privacy are slim too as I think the concept of privacy is changing dramatically and his genreation will grow up with lives that are on-line as the norm.

But I don't think anyone else has to agree with me.

RossettiConfetti before you go, thanks for quoting me in full. Agree with your excellent posts also.

Sadly, there are vulnerable youngsters & even adults who will put themselves in dangerous situations regardless of whether or not online networking sites exist.

This is why I do facebook with my DCs, now while they are young & will still listen to me. We discuss the dangers, discuss how letting friends take pics of you in any kind of compromising pose or situation is stupid. How, every single item you put on there could at some point become public.

Surely, it is all about managing the risk. You have to be wise & sensible in the same way you have to be wise and sensible when you are out in public generally. You don't walk down the high street in your bikini, but at the beach it is ok. We make a judgement about what is safe & ok.

"OP could have a facebook account shock horror without photos of her children on it" yer, and the niece could still have posted the pics

"Surely, it is all about managing the risk"
isn't that what the OP is doing, using it in moderation but asking that she stays in control of what is put up about her DCs?

Catgirl

Fair enough sensible and logical post.

I'm glad that you realise there are dangers with divulging information on the internet and that you will monitor your DCs internet use to keep him safe.

For what's it's worth I also think that the chances of pictures being used to abduct him, gratify using his image, or (less sure about this) bully him with, are reasonably slim.

As to him not wanting his own privacy in the future, do you get to make that choice for him now? If it could all be deleted at will, there would be less of a problem. But this is not the way it works. You don't know what his like choices will be.

life

but the niece didn't take pics she took photos the op had put up herself. If you think it is so very dangerous to have a photo of your child on facebook then why "risk" it and put their photos on your own wall?

I'm still unsure of the actual risk of a photo of a child on DN's profile, manging risk to me is educating children about the actual risks of facebook such as friending people you don't know and airing your dirty secrets by arguing in public not sharing photos of the people you love.

Rosetti, I understand where you are coming form & thank you for your response. However, I do think that this is where common sense has to prevail.

There is nothing on mine or my DCs facebook pages that would suggest any kind of risk for an insurer of any kind. The long list of things that I would have to legally declare of course, is a different story!

I'm desperately racking my brain to see how my passwords could be extrapolated from any information I've posted or the DCs have posted. It would be the work of a genius to find that info from our details / posts etc.

Can an advertiser really use a picture from facebook to advertise a product, without the individual agreeing to it? I guess that may be possible.

I'm sure intelligence networks around the world use sites such as facebook to scan for terror activities. I'd be really, really, really disappointed if they didn't.

If the UK ever ceases to be a democracy, I think we'll have far more to worry about than family pics on facebook - but no doubt that is a moot point!

As to him not wanting his own privacy in the future, do you get to make that choice for him now? If it could all be deleted at will, there would be less of a problem. But this is not the way it works. You don't know what his like choices will be.

But isn't it the same with how our parents documented us growing up? If DC chooses not to want to know about all their milestones or see photos of their childhood they could just not be facebook frineds with the mother. My family have lots of albums and my teath and hair yuk from when I was a child, if i don't want to look at the photos I just don't look at them. I have never known anyone to say "this family album is invading my privacy lets burn it!"

"If the UK ever ceases to be a democracy, I think we'll have far more to worry about than family pics on facebook" actually that WOULD be exactly what you have to worry about, if society is segregated by opinions/education/alliances etc then what you liked or shared or commented on would become a massive worry!