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Original poster

regarding facebook pics

248 replies

pokeypants · 26/07/2012 12:53

I will confess to being a bit wary of putting too much on sites like facebook especialy when it comes to my children, there are so many sicko's about and some people just don't seem to realise the dangers. But I have tried not to become over cautious and reasoned that a few snaps of the kids on there is fine as both me and my partner are sensible and only have actual friends or family viewing our profiles.... I am however rather annoyed to find my niece has been taking my pictures of our little girl and adding them to her own profile....which i know seems harmless but she is a typical teenager and has upwards of a thousand so called friends on her list most of whom I'm guessing she doesn't actually have a clue who they are so we our little girls pics are practicaly public viewing!! Am i over reacting? I have simply asked that she not do it with our pictures, but maybe we should not put anything on there in future ourselves incase. what do other mumsnetters think to this?

OP posts:
qo · 26/07/2012 14:15

i think the general unquestioning acceptance of facebook amongst the general public is mind blowing.

^^ That

Liketochat1 · 26/07/2012 14:19

I don't put photos of myself or my children on the Internet at all, Facebook or not.
The children's images are not mine. It is not my place to put their images up for all and sundry to see.
I have learnt first hand the dangers of trusting people, especially those you know, with children. Another reason I won't post photos.

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 14:19

Similar situation. Our CM uses an online diary system for her mindees. Obviously that contains all information relating to each child, pictures, what they've done, personal information etc.
DH was very concerned about it, and genuinely made me think about it. He works in IT security, so was happy once he'd looked into all of the security measures in place on this particular website. That is a very secure, encrypted website through various levels of encryption.
FB is open, public and really anyone can see it. Far more worrying really.

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 14:20

Totally Sheep. It is mind blowing.

The people who say "Oh what's the big deal?" I wonder if they've ever actually given it any thought.

ivykaty44 · 26/07/2012 14:21

For those of you who don't want pictures on the internet - how do you go about stopping this?

I went recently to the flame coming through my town, there is video now on the internet. If I go into my local town there are over 25 cctv cameras in town.

I don't see how you can stop all the pictures and filming, it just doesn't seem possible.

honeytea · 26/07/2012 14:21

I said that if I was just asked I would wait to take a photo. to start with I said If they said that they were worried about a child being kidnapped but I wouldn't expect a reason.

Ok well a small percentage of the population. I have worked as a photographer for a long time and after we show the clients the images we ask them if they would be happy for us to use the images in promotional material, if they say no we file the images separately, we also ask who can look at the images, we give the option of only the parent who came for the photo session or named people or no restrictions (often you get aunts/grandma's wanting to come in and buy an image for the family as a supprise.) I have worked with 1000's of families and I can remeber 3 where they wanted no other people to look at the images. So in my experience it is a very small mount of people who have such strong issues with their child's picture being kept private.

"so do you think people shouldn't take photos of their own family incase your son is wondering past?" If I ask them not to, is it such a hardship to take the photo 10 seconds later once we're out of the way? And that is fair enough, but most of the time you will not be aware you are even in shot. People take photos/films all the time these days, do you think they shouldn't incase someone's child wonders into shot and that parent might not want a photo of that child to go on facebook?

catgirl1976 · 26/07/2012 14:21

What's the danger?

I have pics of DS all over facebook, including naked ones.

Still - she's your DD so ask your niece to take them down.

Total over reaction in my view but up to you how you live

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 14:22

"encrypted website through various levels of encryption" ... rubbishly worded sentence. i don't know the technical means they do secure the information, but the point was that it is much more secure than FB!

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 14:24

Catgirl - seriously?

Tee2072 · 26/07/2012 14:25

I've given it lots and lots of thought.

I don't work in IT any more, but I still keep up with it as it interests me.

The paranoia on this thread is scarier than someone looking at my son's pictures on Facebook.

Of course, I also have a blog with his name, my name, our city etc etc etc.

There are better and more effective ways to protect your children than worrying about some stranger on the internet looking at them.

Find me one case of a child ever being abducted, molested, what have you, by a stranger, because of information they found on the 'net and only on the 'net and I'll eat my words.

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 14:25

Catgirl, lots of people have pointed out the dangers.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:26

we're not talking about the old days of film photography here where families often couldn't afford more than 24 photographs of their holiday, so to discard one (that happened to be in focus) was actually a loss

Being asked to delete or not post ONE digital photo when most people have thousands and thousands to choose from is really not a massive loss!

and I agree that even as parents we don't have as much of a right to share all our children's info as some people think. I do believe that it is up to them to decide later on, yes I have some of DS up but its not a "life in pictures" photo documentarly like some people post about their children. They are ocassional for people to see how big he is now etc, they don't say much about his life, that story is for him to tell if he wants to!

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 14:27

Tee2072 - "Find me one case of a child ever being abducted, molested, what have you, by a stranger, because of information they found on the 'net and only on the 'net and I'll eat my words.

Lot of people on this thread are not concerned about peado paranoia and still have excellent reasons for not wanting their DCs (or their own for that matter) pics on facebook.

Tee2072 · 26/07/2012 14:27

You can't ivy. You actually have no way of knowing if someone is taking your picture or the picture of the person 5 feet to your left.

Or even from a distance and you aren't even aware.

Never mind the CCTV every where and the Web Cams historical sites have by the thousands.

Stop being paranoid and just accept it. Privacy is dying. It will be dead by the end of 2020, in my not at all humble opinion.

Floggingmolly · 26/07/2012 14:28

Really, Catgirl? Why?

catgirl1976 · 26/07/2012 14:28

Yes seriously. I don't see a problem with it at all.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:29

"Find me one case of a child ever being abducted, molested, what have you, by a stranger, because of information they found on the 'net and only on the 'net and I'll eat my words"

the web co-exists with real life, if someone was befriending a family and grooming a child, being able to research the family's and child's life story on facebook could greatly enable that!

catgirl1976 · 26/07/2012 14:29

Why? Because he is a baby and he is gorgeous and I am pfb proud of him.

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 14:31

Actually Tee, you serious? Kids get groomed over the net and abducted/abused all the time. Do you think having more information about that child gives the perpetrator a lesser or greater advantage?

Tee2072 · 26/07/2012 14:31

"Enable it" perhaps, Silky. But you also "enable it" just by walking down the street. Chatting to a mum on the playground about after school activities with who knows listening. Hell, posting on MN about, really, anything.

Every time you open your mouth or type a sentence you give information to the world.

Every time you walk down (most) streets in the UK you're on CCTV. Or drive a car. Or buy something in a shop.

We are on all the time, except, maybe, in our own homes.

Tee2072 · 26/07/2012 14:32

Find me one example, Rumple where a child was actually groomed through meeting someone random on the 'net. Just one where there was proof and prosecution.

qo · 26/07/2012 14:33

some people want pics of their kids on facebook, some people don't. It should be about personal choice surely - why get up in arms if people don't want it?

Tee2072 · 26/07/2012 14:33

Oh and the Daily Mail doesn't count. I want actual court records.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:34

"I said that if I was just asked I would wait to take a photo. to start with I said If they said that they were worried about a child being kidnapped but I wouldn't expect a reason. "
but you want to be told that they were worried about kidnapping! that is very personal information, why is the fact that they are UNCOMFORTABLE with it not enough information for you? Why do you think you have the right to demand more information then that before deeming their discomfort worth action?

"People take photos/films all the time these days, do you think they shouldn't incase someone's child wonders into shot and that parent might not want a photo of that child to go on facebook?"
NOONE has suggested that people do not take photographs "just incase". Why can't you differentiate betweeen that and being asked to remove a picture from the internet, or being asked to wait until someon who doesn't want to be photographed is out of shot?

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:36

You don't need to share the OPs concerns in relations to pictures of your own family, but I really don't understand why anyone would consider themselves put out by being asked to remove one that made someone else uncomfortable unless you are one of these weirdos who things if its not posted about on facebook it hasn't happened and will drop off the pages of history