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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

regarding facebook pics

248 replies

pokeypants · 26/07/2012 12:53

I will confess to being a bit wary of putting too much on sites like facebook especialy when it comes to my children, there are so many sicko's about and some people just don't seem to realise the dangers. But I have tried not to become over cautious and reasoned that a few snaps of the kids on there is fine as both me and my partner are sensible and only have actual friends or family viewing our profiles.... I am however rather annoyed to find my niece has been taking my pictures of our little girl and adding them to her own profile....which i know seems harmless but she is a typical teenager and has upwards of a thousand so called friends on her list most of whom I'm guessing she doesn't actually have a clue who they are so we our little girls pics are practicaly public viewing!! Am i over reacting? I have simply asked that she not do it with our pictures, but maybe we should not put anything on there in future ourselves incase. what do other mumsnetters think to this?

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 26/07/2012 15:36

I think, as his mother, I do get to make a lot of choices for him whilst he is small. I hope I get them right. This one doesn't feel like a big deal to me as I think this is, or at least will be, totally the norm and the way the world is going.

PostBellumBugsy · 26/07/2012 15:38

Oh purlease Silky! If, if, if we ever cease to become the world's longest running democracy - we will all be in the deepest shit imaginable. It will be far, far worse than crappy shit posted on facebook - of that I am certain.

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 15:39

Just because something is the "norm and the way the world is going" doesn't mean we should trust it is without risks.

PeshwariNaan · 26/07/2012 15:40

IMO someone should ALWAYS ask before posting photos of someone else's child to a social network. YANBU.

catgirl1976 · 26/07/2012 15:40

I didn't say it was without risks. I outlined my opinion of the risks and my attitude towards them.

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 15:44

honeytea "But isn't it the same with how our parents documented us growing up?"

Um... No.

Do you really not get the difference between a photo album on a coffee table and pictures on a social networking site that has automatic facial recognition software, is accessible from anywhere in the world, collects lots of other linked data while changing their privacy policies without warning, and where the data cannot be permanently destroyed?

RossettiConfetti · 26/07/2012 15:46

Actually, I would bet that our Government and intelligence services already use our Facebook accounts to know more about us and our opinions. What Government could resist the temptation to have such a very personal profile of its citizens?!

Governments are not on the look-out for terrorists. The youth who rioted last summer weren't terrorists, but I bet the Government would be tempted to access such personal information as is on their Facebook accounts in order to analyse how such riots happened and who would start them again.

The world economic order is changing, it's not as simple as 'democracy' or 'dictatorship'. Information is power. Facebook holds a huge amount of information. Facebook is almost completely unregulated and certainly not accountable in the way elected politicians are. It is also not transparent.

Floggingmolly · 26/07/2012 15:52

Rumple. Some people really just don't. That's a large part of the problem.

PostBellumBugsy · 26/07/2012 15:53

Rossetti - I'd be surprised if the Govt do that much searching on facebook. It is so time intensive.
My brother works in intelligence & they are hugely under-resourced and under presssure. They had an absolute nightmare trying to find all the rioters & looters from last year - still haven't managed to get all of them. I don't think he mentioned them trying to track them via facebook once - at the end of the day they need evidence to get a conviction.

bobbledunk · 26/07/2012 15:55

It's incredibly rude to put up pictures of other peoples kids without asking the parents first. I think there is a huge problem on Facebook with people who have no respect for other peoples privacy, they think that just because they have this weird need to overshare every tacky detail that they have the right to expose others as well.

They don't, anybody puts up pictures of your child without permission is breaking Facebook policy, if they refuse to remove those images you can complain to Facebook and they will remove the images for you.

RossettiConfetti · 26/07/2012 15:57

Gah, Governments are not just on the look-out for terrorists.

PostBellum, yes you have a point about resources in the UK Gov, but I think other Governments around the world do, and imagine how Facebook could easily package statistics for a Government and hand them over. What stops the company doing just that, especially if the favour is reciprocated?

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 16:00

The world economic order is changing, it's not as simple as 'democracy' or 'dictatorship'. Information is power. Facebook holds a huge amount of information. Facebook is almost completely unregulated and certainly not accountable in the way elected politicians are. It is also not transparent

Absolutely.

I would add that information is currency. And also add that, facebook is registered in America so our privacy laws have limited value in relation to it.

Part of the disagreement here is that some people see the issue as just them putting a few pics up on the web of their family, to share with other people they know well, and any potential harm that anyone describes seems rather long term and unlikely. But it's not just about sharing a few photographs and being a bit more public about it than a physical photo album. There is so much more going on, and the implications are huge.

And with that I must step away from the computer. It's been interesting though.

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 16:09

And just add that, it's been a real eye opener to see so many people get that this is a big deal.

Tanith · 26/07/2012 16:10

When my son first started his school, parents were asked for permission to use any photos they took for their website. I felt uneasy, but was assured by family and friends that I was being paranoid.

Recently DS has had a bullying problem at school that, I have to say, they have dealt immediately and firmly with. All seemed to be well, until a child in his class tipped him off that he was on Facebook. He's underage so he doesn't have an account - or so we thought.

It turns out that someone had taken a photo of him from the school website and used it to set up a facebook account in his name. They were sending out messages in his name, and attracting his friends, who genuinely thought it was him.
They were also sending out less pleasant messages to other children. It was very upsetting for all concerned and we had a devil of a job getting it stopped.

Birds is right, too, by the way. Paedophiles do use images of happy children superimposed onto distressed children being abused. I don't want any child of mine used so that some sick pervert can kid himself that children enjoy abuse.

honeytea · 26/07/2012 16:12

Do you really not get the difference between a photo album on a coffee table and pictures on a social networking site that has automatic facial recognition software, is accessible from anywhere in the world, collects lots of other linked data while changing their privacy policies without warning, and where the data cannot be permanently destroyed?

I just dont think that myself or my family are that interesting, so what if someone in japan can see a photo of my DC? I don't see that as an issue or an invasion of privacy.

I want my children to grow up with self confidence but also with trust for others, I don't want them to think that some creepy/greedy person will be looking at their photos because they are just as likely to meet that creepy greedy person on the high street. I know that those who would not post photos on facebook wouldn't tell the children we don't do this because the nasty people might be spying on us, but just the atmosphere in a family that people are out to get you and you allways have to be on guard is unhealthy in my opinion and not how I choose to be.

LentillyFart · 26/07/2012 16:22

More hysteria! Only person speaking sense here - catgirl. If the paedos want images of your children there are easier ways of getting them than scouring FB - you know, like they used to before the internet?

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 16:23

Lentilly - this isn't about paedos wanting images. Have you read the thread at all?

urbanproserpine · 26/07/2012 16:32

I can't see anyone else has put this in the thread, but OP, I think its tagging that is the thing to be on top of. Nobody will be able to search for pictures of your DC on your nieces account unless she has tagged them as "her name here'. You can only be tagged if you have a FB account. If you are tagged on someone else's photo you are notified via FB and you can remove a tag of yourself from anyone's picture. Thus you have control of your own image in the domain of facebook...*

This is why many people feel you should own and have control of your social media rather than not partaking at all - ie nabbing the twitter, FB, etc for your name, so nobody else can

I am guessing your DC has no FB account. Also I have seen many people tag themselves instead of their DCs so that they have control, and many of my FB friends tag my Dcs as 'me' in pics, thus meaning I can control that tag IYKWIM..

*in theory and as far as that goes...

RossettiConfetti · 26/07/2012 16:35

The thread isn't about threat of paedos Lentilly, it's about the threat of what Facebook, other organizations and Governments can do with this critical mass of information they hold on people.

Bartusmaeus · 26/07/2012 16:38

It's interesting to read everyone's point of view but I stick by the fact I do not want my photos or photos of DS on the internet.

It is not because I think he will be abducted or used by paedos or anything like that. It's just that I do not want people I do not know being able to see my photos.

I once joined facebook to see what one of my friends was raving about. Through one of his "friends" I found out information about loads of old friends that I hadn't spoken to in over 10 years. I found pictures of their children, their wedding, etc. etc. It just seemed so wrong that I could see all that! They hadn't accepted me as a friend on FB, I just went via a couple of other people.

I know that someone in Japan being able to see my photo/DS' photo isn't a dramatic problem. But I still don't want it. Same as I don't want my boss to see my wedding photos or photos of DS etc. It's my private life.

RossettiConfetti · 26/07/2012 16:39

urbanproserpine but what about Facebook's facial recognition technology, which they already have. That way Facebook can identify people in photos and tag them, or whatever. This year ordinary Facebook users don't have access to do that. But what stops Facebook giving everyone - or just certain people - access to its facial recognition technology next year?

qo · 26/07/2012 16:39

And also about retaining your own personal choice!!

PostBellumBugsy · 26/07/2012 16:39

Actually, the thread did start about paedos - except OP referred to them as "sickos", it then turned into a broader discussion.

ivykaty44 · 26/07/2012 16:40

Stranger's photo = no additional information. No one knows who the pic is of
Someone you know places photo = everything links up

sorry I don't agree as face book links people up, so that people are not strangers and people will know who the person in the photograph is. I have several sets of friends on facebook that know other friends of mine on fb - yet I have no idea how they know each other and they do not live in the same countires.

For example I know Sarah who lives in south africa I went to school with her. I also know Jeff who lives in UAE as he was a friend of my brothers. I was surprised as they know each other. I have around 4 sets of friends that this has happened with from China to Australia as well as the UK. I don't think this is unusal as the term is used here

The fake death canoeist was found in a photo!

So stranger photo I don't think = no additional info as no one knows who the person in the photo is, as there will be plenty of people who know who is in that photo

Katie08 · 26/07/2012 16:40

I'm another parent who doesn't want pics of her DC on the web. I have none of myself and certainly don't any of my DC on there either ! Family have pics of the DC printed and posted to them.

My sister took a lot of pics of the DC when she stayed with us recently, a lot went on her FB page DH and I asked her to remove all of them. She maybe their aunt but we're the parents so our views regarding pictures on the web should be considered and approved we feel. She took them down straight away, she can have as many as she wants for personal albums but for public display, absolutely not.