Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

Original poster

regarding facebook pics

248 replies

pokeypants · 26/07/2012 12:53

I will confess to being a bit wary of putting too much on sites like facebook especialy when it comes to my children, there are so many sicko's about and some people just don't seem to realise the dangers. But I have tried not to become over cautious and reasoned that a few snaps of the kids on there is fine as both me and my partner are sensible and only have actual friends or family viewing our profiles.... I am however rather annoyed to find my niece has been taking my pictures of our little girl and adding them to her own profile....which i know seems harmless but she is a typical teenager and has upwards of a thousand so called friends on her list most of whom I'm guessing she doesn't actually have a clue who they are so we our little girls pics are practicaly public viewing!! Am i over reacting? I have simply asked that she not do it with our pictures, but maybe we should not put anything on there in future ourselves incase. what do other mumsnetters think to this?

OP posts:

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:38

Sirzy, I know of people whose children were abducted by estranged fathers or grandparents because info about their movements got back to them, quite concievably from facebook!

Hulababy · 26/07/2012 13:39

Facebook do not own your photos if you post them to frirnd's only. You do. It's even in their own terms and conditions

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:40

DV is very common, LOTS of women don't want their child's whereabouts or movements known to their ex or his family for very good reasons, so nobody is UR to ask for their child to be removed from backgrounds of photos - these things can be pieced together

financialwizard · 26/07/2012 13:40

no sheeplikessleep you are right. It is not so much the pictures, but the information that goes with those pictures

Sirzy · 26/07/2012 13:40

That's different when the family are estranged though, but OP said nothing to suggest there was any risk of that and as she posts photos herself then I would assume that's not the case.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:40

Hullababy if you delete a FB photo, it is just invisable, the information is still stored

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 13:41

I don't know Sirzy, I haven't heard of any. I just feel that personal information could be used in this way. I feel like everything we do is becoming public knowledge and I don't think that's necessarily a good thing.

I think FB has so much personal information, it makes me uncomfortable from that point of view. FB know what each individual eats, drinks, where they socialise, what their concerns are, where they shop etc - what are they going to do with all of that info? There was outcry about personal identity cards or whatever they're called a while ago, but the whole acceptability of posting your ins and outs of your life on FB doesn't sit right to me, to me that seems so much more 'open'. Who / how / why is that information going to be used in the future.

But then maybe I overthink it and I am a born worrier!!

honeytea · 26/07/2012 13:44

But having a photo at a specific nursery where the child goes every week is very different from having a picture taken on a day out.

If someone had a protection issue with their child and they asked me not to photograph my family because their child was possibly in shot that would be fine I'd say ok I will take the photo once your dc has moved.

OP didn't mention and kidnapping relatives so I can't see that is an issue here.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:46

We would prefer DSs location to remain unknown to an aggressive relative, we're not scared of kidnapping or anything that serious but we really don't want him to witness an unpleasant scene and the police called to remove them etc. It's not as serious as most people's concerns but still, our facebooks aren't searchable and we have very few friends so I have asked friends to remove pictures of DS, some of my friends add every friend request they get!

I don't think that a paedo would be interested in the photos, they were fully clothed for a start!, but we do know that said relative has been sniffing round friend's profiles so it's quite possible that they would add our friends

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:47

"But having a photo at a specific nursery where the child goes every week is very different from having a picture taken on a day out."

no its not, a few pictures of our DS at local family fun days would be a pretty good indication of what town we are living in now

and honeytea NO a person does not need to divulge their dirty family history to you, if they don't want their child in your picture/on your facebook is it that much of an inconvenience to you to just comply without getting the gossip?

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 13:48

But it comes down to the question of whether it is a parents right to stipulate whether photos of their child can be posted on FB?

I'm surprised a lot of posters think that the mum was in the wrong to be annoyed.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:48

all these little bits of info add up

Sirzy · 26/07/2012 13:48

That's very different from the impression the OP gave though silky, when there is genuine reason for concern I don't think anyone would question it

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 13:51

"That's very different from the impression the OP gave though silky, when there is genuine reason for concern I don't think anyone would question it"

why do you have to give a reason?, if someone has a reason to not want it that should be good enough, is it really THAT HARD for some people to not post EVERY PHOTO on facebook?

There could be lots of reasons behind the feeling of unease about it, others have no right to know, why should you decide if someone elses reasons for not wanting their child's photo on your facebook is good enough?

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 13:52

Agree with Silky.

Sirzy · 26/07/2012 13:53

You shouldn't, like I said the OP should have been asked BUT if she has photos on her account I can see why the neice wouldn't think twice about doing it.

The OPs logic as to why she doesn't want it seems flawed though as she is worried about risks which realistically don't exist.

honeytea · 26/07/2012 13:58

It's not about gossip, I don't want to know the ins and outs of a situation, if it was an issue and they asked me not to possibly have their child in the shot I would respect that. There are lots of things people do that a tiny percentage of the population is negatively effected by, the flash of a camera could make an epilectic person have a fit, or eating nuts on a bus or people sitting next to a child with a fur allergy when they own dogs, people still do these things and most people would stop if asked (with or without an explanation.)

no its not, a few pictures of our DS at local family fun days would be a pretty good indication of what town we are living in now so do you think people shouldn't take photos of their own family incase your son is wondering past?

qo · 26/07/2012 13:58

It wasn't that long ago that people used to say "if you don't want it out on the world wide web - don't post it"

Facebook has changed that, we no longer have control over what we want published to the world wide web, and if we want some control we're considered a bit of an odd bod.

I don't want pictures of me on the internet, and I'm not talking bad/embarrassing pics here - I mean I don't want ANY. and the reason behind that is simpply that I don't want any pics of me on the internet, I don't have to qualify that.

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 14:03

Agree with Bart and Silky, Callisto and Biryani.

YANBU but it's got nothing to do with peado paranoia.

Many many babies born today will have an entire pictorial and circumstantial life history fully documented on Facebook before they are old enough to decide whether they wanted it or not, i.e they will be too late to do anything about it. And, despite so many peoples' foolish faith in online privacy settings, this will be un-delete-able (not a word apparently) and fully searchable, at the very least by the facebook corporation. With name and email tagging and linked friends and time lines of important dates etc. and so forth, the amount of information that this corporation will hold about these individuals, (potentially some/all added by other people who "don't see what the problem is") will be shocking.
Does this matter?
This information is extremely valuable to all sorts of people and organisations and can and will be used to make profit out of individuals, often without their knowledge or consent, and this process can do real harm. Taking info straight from facebook for news articles is one example. Insurance companies assessing the risk of ensuring you is another. Info being used against you in court cases. The list goes on.
Why do you think facebook is free but worth so many billions?

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:03

her reasons can be flawed in your opinion but that doesn't make her wrong to ask that others don't put up photos of her children

Her niece SHOULD think twice about it! and if the OP speaks to her then maybe she will in future. I always ask if people want me to email them photos of their DCs or share them on FB if I have nice ones (and don't wanna pay the printing fees!). They may have photos of their DCs on their facebook but for all I know those ones may only be visible to me and a handful of others, and of course they have every right to want to stay on top of exactly how much is out there, that doesn't mean that they can never upload ANY of their own children. Its not an all or nothing rule! nor should it be! I don't think that only the privacy of people with nothing online should be considered! I don't think that once you put one pic up then everyone one else then has free reign to post your life story in pictures!

RumpleStiltzkin · 26/07/2012 14:04

And agree with others I crossed posts with above

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:07

"There are lots of things people do that a tiny percentage of the population is negatively effected by"
sadly DV does not affect a "tiny percentage" of the population

"so do you think people shouldn't take photos of their own family incase your son is wondering past?" If I ask them not to, is it such a hardship to take the photo 10 seconds later once we're out of the way?

"It's not about gossip, I don't want to know the ins and outs of a situation," but you do want to know the jist of the situation so that you can DEEM their discomfort worth the inconvenience of missing out on posting a single photo on facebook! Why is the fact that they HAVE a discomfort not enough information for you?

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 14:11

agree with rumple.
i think the general unquestioning acceptance of facebook amongst the general public is mind blowing.

SilkySmith · 26/07/2012 14:13

Does keeping that one photo up really give you so much endless joy that it is worth it even though you know it makes someone else uncomfortable.. for ANY reason

wheresthepopcorn · 26/07/2012 14:13

YANBU. There's nothing wrong with politely requesting that they be taken down. I wouldn't make a big deal of it and make her feel bad though.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10