to think that being a fussy eater in someone else's home is actually quite rude?

[wrathomum]

And never even to TRY new things? Or appreciate the efforts of the host (who has multiple food sensitivites) to cater for everyone and try to provide healthy fare? And to not even feel a little bit bad about being fussy?

Are you talking fussy children or fussy adults?

So you would rather someone forces themelves to eat something they don't like?

Are you talking about a child or an adult?
I think it's forgivable in either.
I never liked anything my Mum hadn't prepared as a child.

Depends. Adult or child? How well do you know them and their tastes? I think it's the mark of a good host to carefully consider what their guest will eat.

YANBU. Everyone bar toddlers should at least make the pretence of enjoying the food. Eating something you don't like much isn't the end of the world.

As an adult I think people will have tried most foods and will know what they can eat and what they can't.
I am a fussy eater and have an extremely reactive gag reflex if I eat something I don't like. I have literally thrown up on several occasions when I had to try something I didn't like. I am sure any host wouldn't want that!

I always make it clear what I will and won't be able to eat to hosts but make it clear I am more than happy for them to have their own things and for me to make myself some toast! I wouldn't want to put someone out.

It's different for toddlers but adults should try to be polite as long as its not making them seriously gag. I couldn't eat chicken feet for example and I guess some people feel the same about fish or meat or some veg etc.

Yes, BlackOut. There are SO many things I would love to eat, but can't. I've heard that if you keep trying new foods after several goes there's a very good chance that you'll come to like it. It's not actually CLEVER to be a fussy (adult) eater after all. Surely it's nicer for the fussy person to enjoy lots of things and fully take part in the meal. It won't usually harm someone to eat a bit of something they don't particularly like.

If I offer something and someone doesn't like it, I'd rather they say so so it doesn't end up wasted. I may or may not offer them something else instead, depends who they are, why they are here, what the first offering was, and what else I have to offer.
If I specifically invited someone over for a meal I would check well beforehand that they liked whatever I was planning to make.

If I was 'fussy' I'd offer to cook something we could all eat if possible, or let you know I'd cook for myself.

I would expect people to try things at least but then i was brought up with 'eat what you're given' and that it's polite to eat what a host has made for you.

Alphabite - I appreciate what you're saying but yours is a very extreme reaction. In that case I guess i'd expect you to politely decline.

Which I'm sure you do!

Except if it makes them gag obviously.

I usually offer a wide range or check with people before hand.

My son has high functioning autism , so his needs aren't always obvious but part of his needs are food related/sensory. This means his food not only needs to be particular foods but moreover served/presented in particular ways. This is not rudeness.

YABU

Eating is a very personal thing to some people.

I know people who have very plain tastes in food and others who will eat almost anything.

If you can't eat something because you don't like it, then that's the way it is.

It's only food at the end of the day.

My mum brought us up to "try to be polite as long as its not making them seriously gag"

So yes, I have had chicken feet, and very weird green eggs as the guest of a Chinese lady who cooked them for me.

So yep I think YABU

YABU to a certain extent. If somebody sat anything with whole/chunks of tomatoes in it I would pick them out and if they complained I would walk out. Tomatoes make me gag. But I agree with you on generic fussiness, and I say that as somebody who has only recently got over the fussiness myself!

I don't like greens.

Have you ever had them?

No.

How do you know you don't like them?

Why is nicer for me (a fussy eater) to eat something I don't like?

Fair point Dawn.

What was the food?

I was supposed to add that a lot of people have things they just cannot stomach.

As someone who was a very fussy eater as a child and still has some weird food hang ups, I can tell you that I've totally lost patience with people who think I should feel bad for my food issues.

If am happy to accommodate vegetarians and vegans (and I am) who expect to be catered to specifically, I don't see why I should flagellate myself for food hang ups I've had since I was a toddler.

I didn't choose this, I never ask anyone to plan meals around it. I don't see why I should force myself to eat things that will make me gag just to keep a host happy.

I would never ask that of a guest in my home. Of any age.

Because it's rude to watch your guests' plates to see what they're putting away.