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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that being a fussy eater in someone else's home is actually quite rude?

487 replies

wrathomum · 19/07/2012 19:11

And never even to TRY new things? Or appreciate the efforts of the host (who has multiple food sensitivites) to cater for everyone and try to provide healthy fare? And to not even feel a little bit bad about being fussy?

OP posts:
edam · 20/07/2012 21:33

Getdown, dh once cooked for a dinner party that had: a vegetarian; someone with a nut allergy; someone with a dairy intolerance; someone with a (real) allergy to brassica veg. It was a murder mystery dinner party so we joked the menu should be cauliflower cheese with bacon and a peanut topping. Grin

skyebluesapphire · 20/07/2012 22:51

Im a fussy eater. I have got better over the years... I will eat beef but not steak, i dont like any meat on the bone. i hate all vegetables except for peas and carrots. i hate all salad items. I never eat fish except for cod, haddock and occasional salmon. I hate tomatoes, but love tomato soup, sauce etc.

I hate any dish with minced meat in, so dont eat chilli, lasagne, cottage pie etc! I never used to eat pizza, or Indian or Chinese, but I have done for the last ten years.

I love a roast dinner, chicken, ham, beef, pork. I like sausages, most sauces now, but not anything too hot. I eat most fruits. i love cheese, eggs. I hate nuts, pulses etc. Im allergic to shellfish, prawns etc.

As a child I was forced by my father to sit over a cold meal until I ate it. At primary school, if it took me 20 minutes longer to eat my food, I was kept in for another 20 minutes, sat in the corner facing the wall. I was punished for not eating my food.

But it never changed the situation. I eat a lot more than I used to, but i am still fussy! My friends all know this now. If we go out for a meal, there is usually something that I can eat on the menu and I never make a fuss if not.

and yes I know Im weird, but as Ive grown up Ive met a lot of people just like me Grin

Socknickingpixie · 21/07/2012 00:10

ive just been reminded of an old boyfriend of mine he invited my out for a dinner date his exact words were "let me take you out to dinner" i went but was shocked when he pulled up outside burger king,he informed me that the only thing he ever ate was burgerking burgers chips and sometimes toast because he just didnt like any other food.

he was 45

Latara · 21/07/2012 00:22

I can't stomach any savoury food that is really buttery, oily, creamy or cheesy... the thought of cheese sauce makes me feel sick!

Yet some friends of mine will happily eat blue cheese dressing, broccoli & stilton soup, pasta carbonara, cauliflower cheese, hollandaise sauce, butter chicken, chicken passanda, chicken korma etc etc....Hopefully no-one will ever cook any food like that for me...

Latara · 21/07/2012 00:31

I like chicken.... nuggets mainly (hope Jamie Oliver isn't reading this).. Grin

neverputasockinatoaster · 21/07/2012 01:08

I don't feel I am fussy but would no doubt irritate some of you!
I don't like fish but will eat it if I am served it although if I was going out for dinner I wouldn't choose it. This stems from my mother serving me yellow fish cooked in milk with a poached egg on top every Friday of my childhood and the meal my grandmother always served on a Friday when we travelled there - white fish in a shop bought white sauce with undercooked boiled potatoes and hard peas!
I CANNOT eat shellfish - it is a texture thing - but if I am served a dish with shellfish in I will eat around the evil stuff. I won't pick it out or put it to one side, I will just eat round it.
I also CANNOT eat offal. Bleugh. Again I will just eat around it. I wouldn't pick through the food in a n obvious way, I would just be REALLY careful about what went on my fork.
I'm also a bit weird about tomatoes in that I love tomato soup, cook with tinned toms and passata, eat ketchup etc but I cannot eat raw or grilled/fried tomatoes - again it is a texture thing.
If someone I was cooking for was picking through their food I wouldn't take it at all as a slight on my cooking. I might feel a bit bad that I hadn't checked out food issues first. Maybe I feel this way because of an experience I had as a young teen staying with my grandparents. I was there for a week on my own. My grandmother was not a good cook but that particular week she was really off form (looking back I suspect she was worrying about my mum) and I was served meals I really couldn't stomach BUT I was raised to eat what was put in front of me and so I did. Until about day 5 when I was eating a boiled potato and I couldn't swallow it. I chewed and chewed and sipped water but that damn potato was going nowhere! I then developed an agonising stomach pain and was rushed to the DR as I was in such pain. It was a long time before my eating got back to normal.

RiaSponsorsTheOlympics · 21/07/2012 01:20

So what's the general consensus - is it ok to leave food if you do it politely, or are allergies/sn the only excuse not to clear your plate?

Thumbwitch · 21/07/2012 01:25

I don't think you'll get a consensus, Ria!

But - manners are the all important aspect (on both sides) - so as long as you're apologetic, discreet and don't make "ERR YUK!!" faces or noises, I think picking out and leaving the bits that will likely make you throw up is fine. :)

mamakubica · 21/07/2012 01:26

it is fine to leave food IMO - just don't pick at it, push it around the plate, make faces at it, or make any negative comment. Above all don't make that repulsive 'tasting' face that picky eaters love.
FOOD FASCIST ???
ME?
WTF?

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 21/07/2012 07:46

i think the polite thing is to just leave it on your plate without comment, and find something complementary to say about the bit you liked.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 21/07/2012 10:29

Yes absolutely. Leave what you don't like, thank your host and compliment her/him on the meal. I don't see any rudeness or bad manners there.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 21/07/2012 14:59

Agree. It's not about what you eat or don't eat (although, separately, I do personally find fussy adults childish and annoying); it's about making a fuss/being rude about your host's efforts.

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