to think that being a fussy eater in someone else's home is actually quite rude?

[wrathomum]

And never even to TRY new things? Or appreciate the efforts of the host (who has multiple food sensitivites) to cater for everyone and try to provide healthy fare? And to not even feel a little bit bad about being fussy?

+Eggrules* that's fair enough, and ds2 doesn't like many puddings and much prefers a Ron of stinky mackerel which he eats with his -fingers

But it's entirely different when someone has an actual issue, Mamamaiasaura. Do you really think anyone on this thread is going "fucking Autistic people, why can't they just grow up?"

No. They are not.

Surely if you have some kind of real problem, you would inform your host beforehand and then the host can sort out something and then everything is fine.

The problem is when someone comes to your house and announces "oh I don't like cheese sauce" when you've made macaroni cheese and you bloody ASKED them beforehand if they didn't like anything and they said no and then they sit with a moosy face all dinner or worse expect you to make them something else.

pand I'd forewarn and provide food if need be

noblegiraffe, it would be a very odd host who was in any way bothered that someone didn't eat pudding.

Bogeyface I hear you. Dh's aunt really fancies herself as quite the chef, but by and large her cooking is bloody awful....I don't how she manages to do it, but pretty much everything she makes is ghastly.

Do i sit there with my bottom lip hanging out, whining that I can't possibly eat it? No. I fork it down and mind my manners.

yellow agrees but that not what op said

noblegiraffe, do you not see that it's a bit rude to go to someone's house to eat if you are going to be so incredibly upset that someone is a bit hurt you don't like their food?

One of my difficulties with fussy eaters is that I used to enjoy eating nearly everything but now I can't, so it's kind of annoying when other people are turning up their noses, for example at (yummy lentil soup), fresh salmon with lashings of melted butter etc. Cauliflower cheese - while I'm wasting away with my plate of cauliflower with no (homemade by myself, might I add) cheese sauce) with no yummy grilled cheese on the top. That I've made to be nice and tasty for them . EVEN though I can't eat it anymore myself.

Yellow is absolutely right.

I have had the "I dont like skin on potatoes" thing, and then got treated to a lecture about how weird I must be because everyone peels even tiny new potatoes. And then proceeded to peel the skin off each and every spud.

I never liked the couple anyway, so not inviting them back wasnt a major wrench!

I have a husband who is a fussy git at home, examples would be only likes spaghetti or linguine, will not eat shells/spirals. Only likes onion cooked in stews, not fried. Does not like melted cheese or creamy dishes, but will eat lasagne.

Does not like margarine, brown bread, lamb, most fish, shortcrust pastry to name a few.

However if we went out for dinner and the host had asked beforehand "do you like spag bol and garlic bread?" he would say yes, and we arrived to find it had been made with pasta spirals, grated cheese on top, with brown garlic bread, he would eat it without any complaint.

If we are in a restaurant he would never order something he hasnt eaten before, but if he was offered it at someone house, he would have a taste to try it.

That to me is how a "fussy/picky" eater should behave if they are a guest.

Really, yellow, that's odd, do all the rules about eating what's in front of you and being polite go out of the window when it's not the main course? Do people's hard work at creating something that posters have been banging on about it being impolite to not force into your mouth not count when it's pudding? Why?

A few weeks ago I went to a friend's house to watch a film. For some reason her and her flatmates had decided on some awful slashery b-movie, the likes of which I really dislike. But as they'd decided, I went along with it and thought it'd be fine.

It was really grim, I felt a bit ill, I really didn't want to be watching it, but you know what? I got over it. Because I'm an adult. And sometimes when you're an adult, you just have to suck stuff up and accept that doing something you're not keen on won't kill you.

If I had actual issues with violent movies, that might be different, but then I'd have told my friend beforehand.

noblegiraffe, because come pudding-time a lot of people are full.

Noble if you cant tell someone that you have such severe issues then why would you accept an invitation to their home? I would genuinely like to know why you would put yourself through that. Surely its best to invite people to you or only eat out with friends who know the situation.

Accepting an invitation to eat when you know in advance that you are unlikely to eat anything is setting the host up to fail surely? Hardly fair.

and name calling isnt going to win you any friends btw.

I think this thread has somehow gone off on a tangent....

OP, I absolutely hate lentils with a passion. I love salmon and can't stand cauliflower cheese.

I have no doubt you made it nice and tasty for them but if they don't like it, it won't be nice and tasty for them.

It's all about personal taste and how tolerant ones stomach/digestive system can be towards foods that someone really doesn't like.

Some people can tip it back and think of England and others will be feeling sick for hours afterwards.

I do think it's best to check with your guests if they actually like the food you're cooking before you go to the effort of cooking it...that saves problems all round.

But there is also a difference between saying "I'm terribly sorry I can't eat that, but it looks lovely". Fine. To picking through it with a face like a slapped arse.

True Worra but what if, as has happened to me several times, they say "oh we eat anything!" and then we get "oh I dont like........whatever"

How on earth are you supposed get that right?! Its not the fault of the host if the guest doesnt tell you they dont like something, so the guest should then suck it up if it is something they arent keen on and just eat it.

Its the lack of consideration and manners that bugs me.

Pictish, bogeyface and yellowraincoat - I'm with you on this.

Bring back rationing and see how many 'intolerances' people have then! If you're that fussy, stay at home, rather than sit there with your face like a slapped arse toying with your food.

(Mother of extremely 'picky eater', by the way...)

That would indeed be rude bogeyface

bogey, people do know, and still offer me food that I have to decline.

As for winning friends, I'm not here to win friends, especially ones who apparently monitor your mouthfuls and chalk up any remaining food as a personal insult.

People who go on about "first world problems" are such knobbers.

But it is, isn't it? It's a luxury problem isn't it?

And don't call me names...there's no need.

Manners ate lost with autism. Say it as they see it . If it tastes fucking awful it will be spat out or gagged on. And verbalised with a resounding yuk.

Are not ate