to be upset that parents have complained about my daughter?

[thereslovely]

A group of parents in my 7 year old adopted daughter's school have complained to the school about her behaviour towards their little darlings. Fair enough she can be difficult (emotional, behavioural needs) but is also really sweet and lovable and can't help herself because of her start in life (attachment disorder.) Apparently the parents have been phoning each other up - the class teacher didn't even approve of their behaviour. My dd was not invited to the latest party (even though the little boy came to hers) and the other children in the class took their party clothes to school to change into. My daughter came out of school saying the little boy forgot to put her on his list but that she could still go (I know she was deliberately not invited because the mum is the ringleader of the group of parents.) I feel like having a word with the parents. I don't know if they know that my daughter is adopted and I feel like shaming them by telling them about her awful start in life. I wouldn't because it's her personal life story but what should I say? When I think of my little girl being excluded from parties, tears come to my eyes. I'm sure I couldn't do that to any child, whatever their behaviour was like.

Ita none of their business shes adopted, and you dont have her permission to say so.

All you need to say, if you feel the need to say anything is she has special needs. may not be learning difficulties per se, but special needs i, detatchment stuff , late star etc, can come under that.

as for the adoption thing, shes YOUR daughter, no one elses, and love is not about biology. I feel sorry for the other children who have no choice but to have parents who are like that.

the school should also be taking a hand in this and helping your daughter, and educating the other children too.

Oh, sorry I didn’t realize they removed the zombie thread warnings. I thought they were helpful

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, OP. My 2 DDs (8 and 5) are adopted and DD1 struggles socially, with attachment disorder. She doesn’t do anything to the other children, she just doesn’t know how to read social cues, invades other children’s personal space and follows them around. She also gets upset when other children don’t want to play the game she wants to play.

She does occasionally get invited to parties or play dates but mostly along with her much more popular little sister.

If your DD is hurting other children then I do understand why other parents are reluctant to invite her though. Maybe you could mention that she’s adopted and had a bad start to her life without going into detail.

You do need to find ways to help her relate to other children otherwise she will continue to struggle.

This is ridiculous! The zombie warnings need to be reinstated.

I agree, if your dd behaviour has impacted negatively on their children, the parents will naturally be angry. Their children's well being comes first to them, not any other child. No they won't be aware of your dd being adopted and the circumstances of her early life, you should not inform them. It's private to your dd. You can only complain to the school, about melicious gossip and behaviour of the parents. But really there is little you can do. Encourage your dd friendships outside school. Like clubs or whatever. Do you have Social worker contact, are there any parenting courses you can go on to try and help your dd.

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5 Year old thread

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Oh, just seen that this is a very old thread, I wonder how the DD is doing now? Sounded like a witch hunt really.

Where do people find dead and buried threads?
What the actual fuck is the point in ressurecting something that ended 5 freaking years ago?

Why just why?

Willow2017 It baffles me too. I can't understand the mentality.

You can't really complain about other parents talking to eachother though...

Argh, sorry...

I was just settling into this thread with a brew and then realised I’m 5 years too late!

How on earth do these posts get resurrected?!?

It's fair enough not to invite her if they don't want to but gossip about her is just unkind. She's just a child no matter how naughty she's been.

It baffles me too. I can't understand the mentality.

People getting irate about zombie threads baffles me. I don't understand the mentality.

i can see where you are coming from, but to be fair if your daughter is upsetting other kids, then they wont want to be around her. that needs working on.
Of course parents shouldnt be ganging up, but they sometimes do.
Work on your child and ignore these parents.

I dont know why you are worried about them at all, change the problem which at the moment seems to be your daughter.

Im sorry that she must be very upset, but this will all get worse as they all get older, unless she changes the way she acts.

Zombie!!!
As this is already trending, for God's sake, I will also add that not only do MNHQ need to replace the Zombie warning, but I think any thread that hasn't been posted on for a year should be locked to all but the OP coming back to update. Surely this can't be impossible?

I agree, pog100 but MNHQ have been asked umpteen times to do this and always refuse. Obviously they are of the same opinion as DailyMailReadersAreThick a few posts above.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your reports.

As this is so old, we're going to lock this thread - it's a sensitive topic and we're not sure the OP would want to have it reanimated. We hear what you're saying about the warning, though, and it's very much in the pipeline, so please bear with us on that one.