I agree that nomorethantwo's post was brilliant and that hat kind of teaching is reassuring.
Of course another child's problems aren't actually 'ours' to deal with. But what an isolating way of raising children, because what them if it is your child that needs support.
Are you then left to deal with the 'difficult' child because adults are shunning you?
DS has been through a lot and I have always spoken to the parents, given the other child the opportunity to put their side of the story across because I am realistic about DS, and the only child we had continued problems with, to the point where DS refuses to have anything to do with him to this day was where the Mother refused to acknowledge her DS's issues, and that was with school back up that this lad had attacked DS.
We do our children a disservice by not acknowledging their 'faults' because they will only generally reinforce themselves as they get older, but any child in my own DC's life will be given the chance to iron out their creases as far as I am concerned, and I have every respect for parents who have extended my DS the same courtesy.
They are children, not social pariahs.
Given the nature of schooling these days, I do think that there is room for the teachers to extend care for children's well being into the classroom and play ground.
To me, that is what 'society' should be about. So that the OP's little girl grows up learning social boundaries in a constructive way that doesn't compound her issues, and that other children learn to have understanding and tolerance.
I agree that on reflection, a different school might be the key OP. My DD changed schools to one that shares the Ethos of notmorethantwo's post and she is learning to deal with her own social 'clunkiness'.