To think my brother and sister in law are bad parents?

[Oxygene]

Please tell me if i'm over reacting.
My BIL has two lads (13 & 14)and when we go to our MILs for Christmas, they do nothing from the minute they get up to the time they go to bed but play violent war games on the xbox. Not only is it totally anti social when your supposed to be visiting family but I don't agree that a 13 year old should be allowed to play violent and aggressive 18+ restricted games. You wouldn't allow your kids to watch porn would you?

They can't see any wrong in this. The only time they stop is to go the loo and have tea and even then they're texting while at the dinner table. The kids are rude and anti social. We went camping with them last year and I was shocked to see the eldest lad knocking back bottles of blue WKDs. The mum said it was ok so long as they drank with the family so it could be monitored and they could do it responsibly. So it's ok to break the law so long as it's done behind closed doors?

Their dad is now pushing the youngest boy into the caddets where he's allowed to vent off aggression and play with rifles. Fine, if you want to join the army when you're older but glamourising war and allowing kids to play with guns is something I can't agree with.

On one hand they are over strict with them but not where it matters. They've sent them to private school so they can get a strict education but they seem to be going off the rails and the parents just can't see where they're going wrong.

my idea of a family gathering isn't [what this family does]

Umm, so don't go to their family gatherings? It's really not up to you to dictate how another family amuses itself. You don't want to join in, either read a book or don't go.

What's so hard about this?

OP, can you not see the contradiction?

On the one hand you object to these teens spending hours and hours on the Xbox. To be fair at a family gathering this would make me a bit too unless they were playing against each other, as my ds might do with his uncles, in turn, in which case it can be a social thing (with the added bonus of not being Monopoly).

On the other, you object to them being in the cadets, where they'll get to do abseiling and climbing and orienteering, fly light aircraft, learn how to polish shoes...

The drinking isn't great, and I say this as someone who takes a very liberal view on most things. Which isn't to say that I won't allow ds to have a beer or two with us at that age (which isn't far off) - but alcopops are designed to get people pissed, and that is their sole purpose. It seems different.

One day OP, you'll remember this thread and laugh.
As a mother to a 23 year old and a 15 year old, I'm actually laughing at you now.

The drinking was on a camping holiday - hardly everyday.

Also, it might be the case that the ILs know their DC spend too much time gaming and that is precisiely why they are encouraging cadets.

This would also have the added of advantage of showing the boys that the forces are nothing like games.

Alchopops are ghastly, I'd be a bit about that bit too.

Be honest, though,OP ... This thread was ment to be an flood of God-aren't-they-awful-poor-you vindication of your dislike of your inlaws

If you really don't enjoy their company don't go! ( Or take a good book and ignore them all back ... )

If i had to spend a week camping with you i too would be necking the WKD.

If you dont like them why spent time with them?

Ment? Stupid sausage fingers ...

If I had to go camping I'd bring an IV bag of vodka.

I'd make you drink real ale Narked.

(posted too soon)

If you want to get drunk, you have to suffer first.

I have three nephews about the same age. They are always on these games at family gatherings and they are allowed to have some alcohol. I was a bit like this too, until I had kids!!!
The boys are a bit older now and absolutely lovely, intelligent and well rounded young men who treat the younger ones wonderfully.
They don't really want to spend time with us and I don't blame them ! They have a sensible (as much as teenagers can) attitude to alcohol because it's never been the forbidden fruit
We only see snapshots of them and you can't make judgements on what they do 'all the time' at home, because you aren't there
I think it's a bit dangerous making assumptions about teenagers, they are a difficult bunch and it's a fine line to tread to make a happy environment between freedom and safety.
I hope my kids turn out as well as my nephews. They are loved and respected and given a bit of leeway and it's worked as far as I can see.

Oxygene, I do actually agree with much of what you've said since, but your OP displayed so many misconceptions - about the legality of drinking alcohol, playing age restricted games and nature of cadets etc - that it was hard to cut through the ill-informed judginess to the genuine issues.

Bleurgh!

"I've even suggested playing party games to try to get some form of fun or social activity going but they're just not interested. I guess we're just not the same sort of people."

hahahahahahahaha

Op, you have quite an extraordinary grasp of the law.

Sorry haven't read whole thread. school run etc so don't know if this has been asked.

Why discussing christmas hols in July? I know weather is bad and some mners have done their present shopping but we're kinda at a strange time of year to be pondering on what happened then.

Honest bewilderment.

Op if you take your judgy stick out of your arius perhaps YOU would be better company.? No?

If I were you I would stop criticising every one else's behaviour and look at your own..

The last thing most teens want to do us ' converse politly' with older relatives... It's normal behaviour...

YANBU. Wouldn't want to be the girls their age who end up getting involved with these little "charmers". I always wondered how they were produced, since no-one generally admits to bringing up their children like this.

Ugh, and their teeth from the alcopops from such an early age...

Don't be ridiculous geegee, are YOU the same person now as when you were a teenager?

I parent like the ops relatives, I have 4,kids 2 grown up and 2 just starting on teen years. Older ones are at uni, have jobs, are sociable friendly and lovely. They were often skinny and monosyllabic as teens..

Stop being silly, it's called growing up...

Again guessing you don't have teens yet???

No one drinks alcopops as an adult, they grow out of this. Also computer games non stop and phone use non stop. It's a bloody stage.

geegee
I'll fully admit that my children have drunk alcohol in my presence and spent far too long playing on computer games where they have had to shoot and kill people.
Now I know where i went wrong, i should have made them play party games

I freakin LOVE Smirnoff Ice

But it wasnt invented when I was a teen so that must balance some sort of agrument out?