BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

[Therealamandaclarke]

So I wonder how sockpuppets is getting on now sans Mirena.

[grants1000]

It's AWESOME, love love love mine, no periods, no pmt, no spots!

[Cavoodle]

I had a bastard mirena for 6 months and am now most pleasingly without one. Weight gain, no sex drive, moodiness, hair falling out only to be replaced by hair on every part of my body except my head. However I would have actually lived with those side effects if it hadn't also made sex excruciatingly painful. Got it pulled last week. Also had to visit 3 different doctors to have the goddamned thing removed.

That being said, my doctor explained the reasoning behind doctors insitisting you having it to 6 months- as Mirena gradually decreases uterine lining, for the first few months you are obviously absorbing the full daily dose of progesterone into the blood stream. At around the 6 month mark, the uterine lining should be thinned sufficiently so as to not absorb as much hormone into the bloodstream and so theoretically there should be less side effects. I actually find my weight gain, moodiness and hair loss stabilised at around 5 months but my sex drive was utterly dead.

[LookingThroughTheFog]

Personally, I think the hormonal contraception thing is a double edged sword. On the one hand, yey for fewer unwanted pregnancies. On the other hand, it's become easier and easier to push the responsibility solely onto the woman.

One conversation I had with a nurse in a family planning clinic:

Me: I can't take hormonal contraceptives.
Her: You really should though. They're really safe these days.
Me: I can't. They mess with my mental health.
Her: Why not try a different sort?
Me: I've had 3 regular pills and one mini pill, and the damage has put me on two lots of antidepressants. It's not worth the risk.
Her: But there are more types than just that!
Me: It is not worth the risk to my mental health.
Her: Pregnancy probably wouldn't be either. (She was wrong here - I sailed through my first pregnancy, only running into mental problems when breastfeeding. Second pregnancy was much harder, but I was already ill when I got pregnant.)
Me: No. I can be fitted for a diaphragm, or we can use condoms.
Her: Your partner might not want to use a condom. You really should be protected outside of that.
Me: My partner can keep his dick out of me, or face up to the consequences then.
Her: Diaphragms are tricky to use.

Yes, hormonal contraceptives are very good for some things, but sometimes it feels as though the various medicos are only interested in that, and sod the knock on effects to other areas.

It's not just me, as it happens. My mother and sister can't take hormonal contraceptives either. Their reactions aren't quite as extreme as mine, but they're there. Consequently, when my daughter's ready for the chat, I will of course advise her on the pregnancy protection aspect of it, and I will point out that drug technology has moved on since my day, but I will also advise her of the family history with it, and suggest that if she does try something, she keeps a careful look out for other problems.

[makemineamalibuandpineapple]

I love mine.

[Therealamandaclarke]

What I'm keen to know is whether anyone has initially had unpleasant side effects (wt gain, greasy hair, headache, overwhelming urge to beat DH to death with a crowbar....) and then gone on to have things settle down enough to feel happy, calm, losing the extra weight comfortably IYSWIM.

[Therealamandaclarke]

cavoodle I'm not convinced by your gp's explanation tbh.

[wink1970]

I LOVED Mirena - this last one was my third. No periods, just a little weight gain, and I had no emotional issues beyond being a naturally stroppy cow. Then, a few weeks ago, I had sudden-onset back ache and pelvic pain, plus bloating and spotting. The GP did her usual 'go away & take 2 aspirin' but the pain was so horrendous that I tracked down a local FPC who wrenched mine out with pliers, saying it looked like it had twisted.

I have to say, 10 days on, I now feel some odd anti-side-effects, which are:

I feel like my mood has lifted; though I wasn't aware I was down in the dumps before, I definitely feel 'lighter' and less foggy
My sex drive has gone nuclear, hooray!
I have lost weight despite pigging out recently
My boobs no longer hurt all the time (I had put this down to having big 'uns)
My hair, oddly, has extra oomph

.. which gives me reason to wonder what I should do in 10 weeks time, when in theory I could have another coil put in?

(BTW: a +1 from me here on the pain of insertion if you have never had children. Not good!)

[Cavoodle]

Well I do believe her explanation - but I suspect you'd still be absorbing SOME of the dose of progesterone through the uterus anyway, regardless of the amount of lining. Just not quite as much.

The weight gain and moodiness absolutely stabilised for me the same month my periods stopped - which was about 5 months in. But that was still 5 months of hell and I had other side effects that were bad enough for me to get it pulled (and which coincidentally have gone away now).

[auldspinster]

I'm three years into my second mirena, had one since 2004. It gave me my life back after 7 years of continuous ultra heavy periods. I had a bit of spotting initially but now i only get a very light period every few months.

[Therealamandaclarke]

Ok, thanks cavoodle
Glad to hear you're feeling better.
I'm in two minds really about removal. I feel a bit better now, almost as if I just had really bad pmt that's now abated. But I still don't feel my usual "self" IYSWIM. I don't want to have to put up with a low mood and weight gain. I like being slim. And I like being happy.

[goodasitgets]

I was on cerazette. Came off it after reading links to anxiety. Then went "oh my god, is this what a sex drive feels like?!" The change was unbelievable. They tried to offer me a BASTARD but I have a copper one now. Although I'm calling it a mini bastard as its giving me a period that appears every two weeks and lasts 8 days

[PinkFondantFancy]

I thought my Mirena was the answer to my prayers until I read this thread and am now wondering if it's responsible for the extreme rage and mood swings and unshiftable baby weight despite looking after 2 under 2 and breastfeeding like a Friesian cow.... Trouble is, BFing gives me a touch of the crazies too so it's hard to know what's responsible.

[nellieloula]

I am SO interested in this thread. I am on my 2nd bastard; loved (and still do) the idea of no periods, no pain and complete contraception. But am increasingly aware that I am a hormonal, angry mess when my period is due and also when I am ovulating. Proper rage (not nice when I have little ones) and complete apathy. Rarely feel passionate or excited about anything. Feel 'heavy' a lot. And zero sex drive. Have been wondering for a while if the bastard had anything to do with it....maybe it has. Hard to know cause I can't remember life pre-mirena....

has anyone removed it, seen an improvement in mood and been able to manage the periods?? and what did you do for contraception??

[Therealamandaclarke]

I had one before DCs. Hated it - weight gain and low mood.
Had it removed and replaced with copper coil. Which I loved (really? A coil up my foof and I loved it?) well, it was a good method for me is what I mean.
My mood lifted almost immediately and I stopped stuffing my face.
My periods were heavy with the coil but that didn't bother me really.
My only concern is that the BASTARD is v. V. Effective contraception and I spose the copper oil is v slightly less so.
But the BASTARD has to go.

[Therealamandaclarke]

oil? FFS.
Coil.

[gintastic]

Have had a Mirena since April. Is it possible that it is this causing me to behave like the Wicked Witch of the West going cold turkey on crack?

I really hate my moods, HV said PND (DD2 is 9mo), but I think it could be the mirena? Anyone else feel like this?!?

[becscertainstar]

Ah, the memories of my BASTARD Mirena...

Doctor - it'll be great for your heavy periods
Reality - heavy bleeding for SIX MONTHS CONTINUOUSLY. Six bleeding months without stopping. I was like a prune. A very, very pale prune.

Doctor - your acne will improve
Reality - acne got worse

Doctor - it will be so much easier than remembering to take a pill every day
Reality - It's not that hard to take a pill. But when the Mirena got infected it was hard to get out of bed what with the high fever, hallucinations and vomiting

Apparently no-one ever has a problem with it and the Mirena is universally marvellous. But that wasn't my experience, and I definitely got the hard sell from my doctor who kept telling me that the Mirena would 'settle down'. When I got the infection I saw the duty doctor - a different one - and she took one look and involuntarily went 'CHRIST!'. Then in a much more measured way 'Well, I think we'll just take that out today as it doesn't seem to be doing much good where it is.'

[Therealamandaclarke]

Well my BASTARD is now safely hidden away in hospital waste.
24 hours later and i swear I'm already feeling brighter.

lookingthroughthefog you make a very good point about contraception being considered a woman's responsibility.
In FPC I was looking around me at my fellow females, all probably waiting for an uncomfortable/ invasive / potentially harmful procedure.
It made me feel cross rather than empowered. All our bloody men sitting at home watching tv while we get "sorted" for their convenience.
(ok. Maybe not feeling 100% quite yet )

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

So I wonder how sockpuppets is getting on now sans Mirena.

Well, I had a namechange and DH had the snip The two are unrelated. I know it's extreme, but I just can't be doing with hormones and I don't want a jagged bit of metal up my fanjo. We did talk about me getting sterilised, but DH kindly threw himself on the grenade.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

PS The moment I realised I had to Leave My Bastard occurred when we were both in the kitchen and a small amount of something (can't remember what) got spilled on the floor. I came very, very close to letting rip a full-throated scream of rage. Not good.

[gintastic]

Jesus, that is almost exactly how I feel. Massive overreacting to minor stuff.

Can't carry on like this, am tempted to yank it out myself if I can find the strings...

[lem31]

Had the bastard for 5 years. Doc said to expect period style cramps. Labour wasn't as painful, I swear! Couldn't move for 2 days. Bled for 4 months. Then when they wanted to get it out couldn't find the bastard thing!
Definitely seconding your motion to here forth call it bastard mirina and insist all male GPs shove them up their arses, twist their balls until they can't take it and have 27 people inspect their nether regions. Then see whether they continue to give the hard Sell..

[awaynboilyurheid]

Another one who loves it! this thread proves we are all so different ! now on my fourth mirena, and would have needed hysterectomy if I hadnt had one fitted to stop heavy heavy bleeding, my haemoglobin was 5 and I was still trying to run about looking after everybody and work. Thought I was just unfit when I kept getting out of breath, no-one noticed I looked like a ghost went to GP with another complaint and he said he would test my iron got an urgent phone call next day as I was trying to iron sitting down ! so I am grateful for all these years period free it has been great for me

[Therealamandaclarke]

jesusinthecabbagevan thanks for the update. Gat to hear you're doing well.

gigantic I've had my BASTRD replaced with a copper coil.
Unless there's a medical reason to keep it I'd recommend the same.
It may not be what's causing your low mood but it's definitely possible.
It definitely wasn't good for me and it seems to be the case for some other women too.
Good luck